The majority of the stories that I recall run the range from the frightening to the grotesque.

Here is one:

There were times when we were hungry when we were playing in the backyard. There was an apricot tree on the property, but we didn't dare eat any of the apricots which were ripe and falling on the ground for fear of punishment. I was hungry and asked for one. He gave me a portion of one after a discussion of not telling our parents, and I did eat.

He was afraid to eat the other portion of it even though he was very hungry. Later, we entered the house looking like we had done something terribly wrong. Neither of us said anything. All h*ll broke loose when my brother confessed to feeding me a portion of the apricot.

This is the type of story that I recall from our childhood.

I don't want to dredge up any more of these from my memory bank.

There are times when the truth is not useful, and now is that time!

Forgive me, but unless you lived on a farm where apricots were harvested off the ground for cutting and drying, I have to assume that your parents were so strict you could not eat anything unless they gave you permission? If all h*ll broke loose from that little incident, there must have been much worse stuff that he's suppressed.

Why mother did not send us kids out to pick it up so we could make jam or eat it for dinner is beyond me.

Yes, it appears that he suppressed much of his childhood, and yes, some of the stories that I recall are much worse than this one.

I am taking the stance that it would be better off if he does not know what he cannot recall.

Don't eat the sacred fruit: We had sh*t for parents.

The abuse caused me to have a very serious dissociative disorder. All but one of my siblings won't talk to be about it. The one who will is so much older that our experiences were different. I would love to know what really happened. Perhaps I could get well if I could know and then deal with it. If you can deal with telling him, it might be the best thing you could do for him.

I am not ready to discuss all I recall with my younger brother.

Perhaps sometime I will tell him that his father took a belt to him when he was 18-months old. I don't recall what he did to deserve such a horrid demonstration of the lack of manly hood.

I need to finish processing all of this before I do anything.

I am sorry you had to put up with all of the abuse you did.

The remaining emotional situations caused by our childhood abuse are straining.

I hope you find healing from the past.

I found talking with a sibling about childhood to be the most beneficial therapy I could find.

Personally I think you'll find that dredging it out will help you more than him, but he really needs to know.

This really is one of those 'no pain no gain' situations.

And it's way past time you thanked him for that apricot. Seriously, think of how you can bond with him over this.

I concur with Heresy-

My sisters and I had long discussions about growing up the insanity of our family. Those conversations laid to rest some ghosts for me and cleared up some confusion.
It will be painful, but you may find peace in the end.

You did not grow up in a family. You grew up in a concentration camp!

Discuss it with your siblings at length and then go for joint therapy.

Talking about it hurts but is also very therapeutic. One of my sisters and I have been working through stuff for years now by talking about anything and everything related to abuse and neglect in our childhood. The other 2 sisters won't associate with us or with each other, so it's just the two of us. Talking and sharing has helped a lot.

A couple of months ago I found and contacted one of my half-brothers. He was sooooo happy as he had loved all of his little sisters and had tried to find us. We share the same father and he's five years older than me. I hadn't seen him since I was 12 years old. All these years he had thought our father was such a wonderful man, someone to respect and admire. It's been painful for him to find out that our father sexually abused my older sister and me, that he regularly beat my mom, and that he didn't pay child support. Although it's been painful for him to process all of this, he wants to know the truth, so he asks questions and wants my sister and me to tell him the facts.

I'd advise telling your brother. Start slowly and don't tell him everything at once. He'll need time to process it, to digest it, and to hurt about it. He has you to help him work through it, and it may prove to be mutually beneficial.

I'm sorry those horrible things were done to you as children. (((Hugs)))

TG

Talk about it seriously just talk about it he needs it more than you could know. He might remember it and needs someone to say it really happend that way.