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Posted by: JF ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 09:59AM

Anyone know how to file a formal complaint about a SP? I've written to higher-ups, but never get a response. Perhaps there's a process or a form. If you know, please tell me.

Thanks.

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Posted by: Not the Girl You Used to Know ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:09AM

there is no process. They will ignore you, OR, they will inform your Bishop to talk with you in order to "encourage" you to put your grievance to rest. You will then be seen as a potential problem. You will be released from important callings.
Or.....as in my case, the higher ups will conduct a witch hunt against you so they can turn you into the enemy so that your complaints against their "good ole boys" will carry no weight. No matter how you dice it......if you complain, you will now become the "problem" that they will be forced to deal with. They will protect the SP or any other "authority" figure.

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Posted by: neptuneaz ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:32AM

and its pretty sad. There is never anything wrong with the church, only things wrong with the members if they have any problem with it or the lies they tell.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:11AM

Except for higher ups to complain about and discipline their flock.

I'm serious

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:20AM


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Posted by: Timothy ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:25AM

Old rich guys at the top carelessly shake a little dew off the old lily and couldn't care less where said droplets land.

Just be glad they don't give a s**t!

Timothy

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Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:36AM


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Posted by: Glo ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:46AM

DON"T MAKE WAVES is the unwritten order to all members.

There is no way to get real any justice in the "one true church", they will simply label you a troublemaker.
That alone should tell you that Mormonism isn't what it claims to be.

You need to get the police involved in serious legal matters or you have the option of resigning.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:56AM


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Posted by: EssexExMo ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 10:59AM

if it is a legal matter, then it is your duty to take it to the proper authorities.... the police.

if it is a church matter then you have almost zero chance of making a dent in the machine, in my estimation

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Posted by: JF ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 11:00AM

I wrote a letter to the area presidency, received no response. These were my complaints:

Actions of my stake president:
- told me I was responsible for the “destruction” of my family because I divorced my former wife due to her several affairs, and after she abandoned the home, leaving me with six children to care for
- when I told him it was my time of greatest need, he responded saying, “the services of the Church are not available to you”; my home teachers stopped visiting me
- threatened me with excommunication and told me I had no interest in my own salvation
- supported my former bishop’s meetings with my ex-wife’s lawyer during the divorce by saying, “spiritual matters supercede civil matters”

Actions of my former bishop:
- called me to repentance for allowing my ex-wife to leave the house without wearing her garments
- required me to confess her sins to him
- made detailed inquiries about the sexual positions my former wife and I did in our bedroom
- dismissed my former wife’s violence against my daughter

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Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 11:38AM

Write a letter to the editorial pages of the newspaper and say what you just did. This has to get out so others who may be possible converts know about this INSANITY. My thoughts are with you.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 02:23PM

JF Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wrote a letter to the area presidency, received
> no response. These were my complaints:
>
> Actions of my stake president:
> - told me I was responsible for the
> “destruction” of my family because I divorced
> my former wife due to her several affairs, and
> after she abandoned the home, leaving me with six
> children to care for
> - when I told him it was my time of greatest need,
> he responded saying, “the services of the Church
> are not available to you”; my home teachers
> stopped visiting me
> - threatened me with excommunication and told me I
> had no interest in my own salvation
> - supported my former bishop’s meetings with my
> ex-wife’s lawyer during the divorce by saying,
> “spiritual matters supercede civil matters”
>
> Actions of my former bishop:
> - called me to repentance for allowing my ex-wife
> to leave the house without wearing her garments
> - required me to confess her sins to him
> - made detailed inquiries about the sexual
> positions my former wife and I did in our bedroom
> - dismissed my former wife’s violence against my
> daughter


WOW. That is worthy of a formal complaint, in the mind of a reasonable, rational person, but that's just business as usual too often, in the leadership of the LDS Church.
There is nothing they will do or can do. What one leader does, stands, and is backed up, unless it's a flagrantly illegal and can be prosecuted.

When dealing with leaders in the LDS Church the member is subject to their opinion and so-called inspiration and discernment. Don't like it, ignore it, or go along to get along temporarily - that's what some do, even though they know it's bogus nonsense.

Ya, they were ridiculous, out of order, and gave incompetent advice. That's because they are not qualified to give any kind of advice except to: pray and read the scriptures. That is it. The rest is their OPINION.

Why not ditch the whole bunch of them, and live your life the way you want and not rely on incompetent, untrained people to give you advice?

You did all you could. There is no real recourse. Sorry. That's just how the LDS system works.

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Posted by: Steven ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 11:04AM

..TSCC doesn't like bad PR, obviously. If they think that your complaint is bad enough (i.e. harrassment), etc, they could take action as in releasing him. It really depends on the nature of the complaint, the evidence, and the potential for adverse PR. In general though, many people have had complaints against SP's and B's, but in the end, 99% of those complaints are dismissed, overlooked, or returned with disciplinary action.

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Posted by: Crathes ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 11:15AM

There is NO NEED for you to complain or comment in any way. The higher ups are all inspired. If there were a real problem or issue, Dog would tell them and they would address it. Who are you to complain of comment? Duh!

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 12:23PM

The standing joke around here is that most exmos are told by some TBM that they left because they were offended, not because they figured out it was a crock.

In your case, you really have been offended.

Leave. You are well rid of these yahoos.

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Posted by: voltaire ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 01:09PM

Why are you asking here? Why aren't you asking your bishop?

You already know the cult's response to complainers:
"Do it our way, or hit the highway."

If you don't like what they do, leave.

If you're a masochistic sucker, stay.

It's that simple.

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Posted by: Heresy ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 01:17PM

and or approved these vile men. Are you questioning their discernment? It will just confirm that you are the bad guy.

I'm so sorry you have gone through this. The church isn't a place for justice.

All you can do is be sure that your six poor kids at least never have to become Mormons, pay tithing, go on missions.

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Posted by: JF ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 02:05PM

I'm asking here because my bishop will just tell me to humble myself.

The comments here make sense to me. I guess what I want, however, is confirmation - confirmation that nobody in the church really cares. That means I've got to keep writing letters, keep pushing it and see what happens.

I'm not ready to leave, for a number of reasons. As many of you know, leaving is a process. You don't just do it. And I want to go through that process to find out for myself.

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Posted by: voltaire ( )
Date: December 27, 2010 02:16PM

are you sure you aren't giving them too much credit for—and power over—your happiness?

You don't have to just walk out the door and never look back (I did, "family" concerns notwithstanding), but it is always an option. The chips are going to fall where they may: you can't control that. And you already know that "nobody in the church really cares." You want it spelled out on a piece of paper, though you've already witnessed multiple examples of it.

What you want is like asking Bernie Madoff for a signed statement of guilt: you've lost your investment, his lawyers won't allow it, and you already know he's guilty. And there's no higher power under which you can hold the cult accountable for its actions. So what this really boils down to is: how much is that piece-of-paper-that-you-probably-won't-get-in-the-end-anyway really worth to you?

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