Every year's end brings the raging debate to RfM regarding Truth vs Lies about Old St Nick. Steve Benson leads the charge on the side of No More Lies to Kids re Klaus. People seem shocked when "lies" and Santa are linked. For some here, so they say, Benson personifies Grinch because of his uncompromising stance against the annual myth-fest. It is fascinating to observe an entire society perpetuating a myth and calling it truth. In what other regard are we encouraged to uphold untruths to our kids? (Don't say religion because most parents actually believe what they teach their kids about their faith beliefs while without question they know Santa Claus is mythical).

It is even more fascinating for me to see this play out at RfM, where for 9/10ths of the year most of us stand up for Truth under all Circumstances.

Except Christmas it would seem.

I understand that people want to continue the cultural myth with their kids that they learned in their own childhood but I am regularly surprised by those who castigate Benson for being consistent enough in his post-mo approach to refuse to lie, even about Santa, even if it's considered a Good Lie by the majority of our society.

I'm on record as saying I never enjoyed the Santa myth and that I saw it as potentially harming vulnerable, trusting kids (like my soft-hearted brother who was devastated to find out The Truth about Santa), because they trust their parents and other adults and eventually learn that a fable has been promoted as truth (which is quite bizarre if you think about it, kind of like entire generations of adults pulling off a version of The Truman Show on their children and grandchildren in perpetuity).

Once you find out that adults can't be trusted about Santa, it can be hard to ever find that level of trust again. I don't see that as a positive.

So, are we saying that if the majority think it's a Good Lie then it's OK to uphold it? I think that's an inconsistent approach, at best.

I'm into the spiced rum already so don't even know at this point where I was going with this, lol, except to say that if the pro-Klaus RfMers bring the same attitude to post-mormonism as they have re Old St. Nick (i.e., some lies are good lies) the inconsistency could choke them. Or worse, they might still be slaving to perform their callings and sweating to pay their tithing. (I'm regularly shocked by how many people will go through the expected motions, pretending to believe in something they do not - I just can never get used to that - I could almost say it's a peculiarly Mormon thing to do - but maybe not {{{shiver}}}. I cannot imagine the horror of having to live a lie like that. The energy it would take, I imagine, and the negative karma it would generate, ulp).

What's beautiful about our somewhat enlightened and hopefully essentially democratic little corner of the world is that we can all celebrate this season in the manner of our own choosing. Benson and those who agree with his take on The Myth of Klaus can forego the Santa thing (I am one of them). Those who think it's harmless fun can play along with it. The Christians among us (and I am also one of them, at this point anyway) can celebrate in a way that upholds our beliefs and traditions (I finally untangled my Nativity scene on Christmas Eve and was happy to continue a long-held family tradition in that regard, even with half a lamb and a missing cow - at least we haven't lost Baby Jesus - yet).

I am celebrating that we can all celebrate in the way we each see fit.

For my Christian friends I offer the following music that I enjoy foremost of all (Christian!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPeVIuRjUi4&feature=related

For my atheist friends, I hope you enjoy this seasonal fun:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e53-8uMqlY

And I trust and hope that there will be cross-over between the two! I can enjoy the fun parts and the traditional parts and join with all level-headed people of all persuasions who look forward to a better New Year, filled with joy, striving for peace, with good will towards all, starting with ourselves.

A belated Merry Christmas (I'm loathe to let go of the season so soon) and a very Happy New Year to all from the top of the North American continent, Canada - not a bad place to be at any time of year, at all, at all.

Now, back to the spice, the rum, and later the bubbles. I'm really gonna try hard to stay up for midnight this year. It's so much fun. Lucky Australia that gets to be first.

Happy, Happy New Year to everyone at RfM!

Nightingale

(Wondering if there's any correlation between the amount of edits needed to be coherent and the number of rum drinkie-poos one consumes - or is it the spice in the rum that numbs the language centres in the brain pan I wonder... Maybe I should switch to the straight stuff. :)



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2010 08:36PM by Nightingale.

There is room for both opinions. Personally ,I enjoyed the Santa story and figured it out on my own. My parents didn't overdo it or use Santa to control behavior. I would not hesitate to teach my kids about Santa. I don't see it as a lie, but as more of a fantasy. I had absolutely no negative experiences with Santa and found out he didn't exist in a natural manner and was not upset at all. I have never met anyone in real life who was particularly bothered by believing in Santa. I know there are people here who have had negative experiences and I recognize that and respect their views. It is up to individual parents to decide how to handle it, IMO, and I think kids will be fine either way if everything else in their lives is supportive. Perhaps it gets people's hackles up because we get the same thing word for word evey year and people on both sides are so black and white on the issue.Santa is good and your children are being deprived if you don't encourage them to believe. No, Santa is evil and you are lying to your kids. How will they trust anyone ever again? Both are extreme views and there seems to be too much preaching on both sides for my taste.Personally, I was rather tired of the debate the first year and have ignored it to some extent the last few years.I also think there is room for white lies. I don't necessarily tell people what I think if I know it will hurt them. I would als not condemn someone who lied to save an innocent life.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2010 08:50PM by bona dea.

Our kids got enough of that nonsense at preschool. However, I also didn't want to be the hated parent whose kids ruined it for everyone else's kids, so I would respond to direct questioning with evasively truthful answers. For example, one of my children asked me if it was true that Santa delivered presents all over the world on Christmas Eve. My answer was, "A lot of people say that." Another child once wanted to know how Santa could get into our house since we didn't have a chimney. I asked him how he thought Santa might be able to get into our house, which generated a list of suggestions from him (front door, window, doggie door....and noncommittal responses from me such as, "Well, that's certainly one way." We never tried to hide that "Santa" gifts on Christmas were actually from us.

My husband and I felt that if we told our children about Santa as if he were real, the next logical conclusion after they figured out that Santa was just a story was for them to question what we told them about God. While I know for many on this board, that is an exactly equivalent story, it isn't for us.