Members of my TBM family know I participate on RfM. I was told by one of them to stay off RfM while at their house (I didn't have a laptop with me so they didn't want me using their home computers). I never planned to do that anyyway but was headed off at the pass without even going there in the first place. Welcome to the Zion CUrtain.

I think I would have left. Not very welcoming, are they?

Well - is their house and their rules.
You have to decide where you go, where to stay. If you can live with it OK if you don’t OK too.

Did you logon to a porn site instead? That might have been OK with them...

No.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2013 06:44PM by gentlestrength.

Wait till they go to sleep, watch porn instead.

You could have also gone to that other exmormon forum. The one whose name must not be said.

So, when they come to your house, they aren't to read their scriptures, right?

Sounds fair to me. At the very least I'd ban the BoM from my home!

Even with non TBMs it is just so nice to have your own space. And quiet time :)

next time one of them comes to stay at your house, make sure you tell them
"You can use the PC, but you cant go on any beastiality sites"

yah know..... just to head it off at the pass

My exmo brothers sneak beer and coffee into Mom's house when they visit. I don't like the idea. I've followed my exmo sister's lead to spring for a hotel and it's worth it.

I would have said something like, "Now, honestly, why do you think I would be so rude as to isolate myself and go surf the internet when I'm here visiting family?"

Seriously???

I would have laid into them, "oooh you so clever, but guess what I can still THINK anti-mormon thoughts ALL DAY LONG - HAHAHAHA!!"

They just didn't want to get on the Strengthening Church Members Committee's hit list O_o

I wouldn't let U on my computer.....
Not having your laptop or IPad is your problem.
Unless it was an emergency.

From my bank information to my most private stuff on my PC and someone is going to claim civility to share my computer?
Talk about boundaries.....

use the cpu...he was "ambushed" and told to not go on the site RFM...which means tacit permission to use the cpu...just ya cant use it to go where you want!

just processing!

and it is SO STRONG, it can withstand anything....except other points of view, critical thinking, logical thinking, questions, peer review and scrutiny.

That actually is a valid point.

There are multiple GA talks where they mention that your house is a temple and bad spirits can get in with evil media.

...I think it's part of what spurred all the home dedications.

I literally have been asked to cast out the evil devils from a home because of bad media...

So if this person subscribes to that wacko viewpoint, then I guess it isn't so crazy for them to forbid sites.

Their house their rules....

I know in my house, I don't want visitors going to porn sites, or sites like rotten.com.

So I'm the only person who would think it's incredibly rude to go to someone's house to visit and instead, just use their computer? Like I said above, I would be gobstopped at anyone who would suggest that I'd rather just go surf the 'net rather than interact with the people I came to visit. You can do that at home. Why would you go to someone else's house for that?

I think you are seeing what you want to see, which has nothing really to do with what I described of what happened.

I can see exactly what you are saying (or at least guess). When I visited a lifelong friend who I grew up with in Utah, who came out as gay a few years ago, we went to his mom's. When I asked politely if I could use the internet to get directions she said "No, because last time he was home he used it to look up naughty things, so I no longer let people have access." Then, she of course glared at my friend and of course, did it on purpose to make him feel guilty, in front of me, who she also knew, was exmo.

2 things:

First, he was nearly 30 at the time. I was nearing 26. This was incredibly rude, and unnecessary. She could have just said no... instead she ENJOYED the validation she received by "putting us/him" in our places, as less than her, morally.

Secondly, perhaps he shouldn't have used his TBM mom's computer to look up "naughty things"... however, it was totally inappropriate of her to chastise her 30 year old son, in front of his guest.

It's a power thing... a "Better than you" thing (at least, that was my experience).

Note- after she went to bed, we spent the better part of the night texting each other from across the wall of each other. She put us in different rooms, even though she knew he was gay, because it would be inappropriate for her 30 year old son to be alone with his female friend of over 15 years. The door had to stay open.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2013 05:13PM by intjsegry.

Visitors to my home use my computer all the time.
I'll use someone's computer at their house.

I ask first, and I don't poke around, but it is a socially acceptable thing to do, as long as you follow the protocol (I could see viewing RfM as outside of that protocol, but jumping the gun and forbidding it when there was no intent is equally outside the protocol).


It's especially fine if there is a "guest" account.
It is extra especially fine for Mormons, since they are supposed to have a completely open/unlocked/shared family computer in a family room.

But, at my parents house, I just use my parents accounts, & at my house they use my personal account.
At my sisters house, I don't use their computer, but they use mine at my house.

...I guess it just depends on how close you are to someone, & whether or not they have a guest account.

I think I had an entire semester seminar on that one.

I get it... you are looking at "intellectual porn"... I mean, what if they had kids, and their innocent brains were exposed to an opposing thought?

(sarcasm seriously intended)

At least they knew about RfM! That's pretty amazing to me. Curiosity may eventually prevail and they'll be on their way out too.