I have a problem. I can't shed the Mormon Glow. I have been an apostate for over 8 years and I still glow. Every TBM I meet assumes I am just as TBM as they are because of the glow.

I had a co-worker that sat in the same cubicle area as I did and it took 3 years for him to realize that I drink coffee. WTF, my glow is so bright that it makes my extremely black coffee look like hot chocolate?

I'm doing everything I can to shed the glow. I read anti-mormon material, drink coffee and tea daily. I like to drink alcohol occasionally. I wear comfortable underwear. I've even stopped believing in a mythical overseer.

Maybe I'm just cursed with the glow for the rest of my life. I was TBM for over 20 years, so it's probably just something that is fused into my being.

And here I thought a mormon could always spot another mormon by their glow.

It is now your "after glow"

and smile inside too

:)

Do you use "flipping" and "fetching" as adjectives?

Do you have a self rightous attitude, and look down on others?

Do you talk about C.S. Lewis, Tolken, Harry Potter, and lame Vampire movies a lot?

Does your screen saver feature anything BYU related?

Got Minivan?

Check in the mirror while you walk, to ensure you do not lean noticably to the right from the weight of carrying your "Quad" all those years.

Does eating a cookie make you "well up" and feel loved and less lonely?

Are you pale, or do you have tan line similar to where garments would ride?

Make sure you are not doing any of the above, then tell people about going swimming on Sundays, playing with an Oiugi board, face cards, going to R Movies etc. If you have to, fire up a stoggie in the car before work. The smell will take the glo right off you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2013 04:17PM by jon1.

Stop buffing your face with Turtle Wax. Problem solved.


You're welcome.


Seriously, what "glow" are you talking about?

I think a lot of Mormons have body issues, so a lot of Mormons don't go sunning. As a result, the most worthy, IE most messed up in the head, tend to be pale and pasty. Or their eyes shine extra big from having extra large pupils because of their psychiatric medications. Being Mormons they assume that these are really manifestations of the spirit.

Are your hobbies baking, quilting, crafting?

Do you wear big big denim jumpers with hubbies T shirt underneath?

Do you use an old diaper bag for your purse?

If you do, it could be what's hindering the more matt look you seem to desire.

ROTLMAO @ you guys' responses! Especially the turtle wax buffing, Dogzilla. HAHAHA!

Think I found your problem-
Drink a little more alcohol & wear a little less "comfortable underwear". Go to Victoria's Secret & buy some classy, semi slutty underwear. Soon- you'll be glowing for a different reason.

or a second piercing might do the job?

Well, I kind of doubt Victoria's secret underwear or a second set of piercings will help. But they would probably make my wife break out in laughter, or maybe call the cops.

Lot's of people have the "Mo-Glow" it's just the Mormons who are arrogant enough to think it belongs to them.

Like me for example... I have it :P

bc,
That's one thing that I found so funny about the term. I always thought it was funny when Mo's thought they could identify other Mo's by their "glow". At one point I thought I had that ability too.

That is why I think it is so funny that so many people in mormon country think I am one of them.

Maybe I just need to grow a big porn 'stache

And for those who haven't figured it out yet, I am male.

But sexy underwear is still a good idea!

Yeah just low ride your pants big time and let your boxers hang out over the top. Wear a wife beater under your shirts. hehe

It could also be from not having enough sex. Too much build up of hormones can give your skin a funny glow. If you state your gender and sexual preferences, I am sure you will have plenty of volunteers offering to help with that problem.

I had to get rid of the Moglo too. I grew facial hair, stubble is the sign of a rebel. Never wear a white shirt and tie. Get a tattoo. Try wearing jeans and a tee on casual Friday. Make sure you learn how to swear and use it fluently.

If you're a dude, pierce an ear or two. If you're not, get several more than one piercing. If acceptable at work, a facial piercing is like a neon sign.

Psychology Today wrote an article about attractiveness in which they cited a study done about the fabled Mo Glow, so that should be proof enough for all of you. The discussion is over.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201210/whats-in-face

(In case it's not absolutely clear, I'm being sarcastic and think the study is probably bunk. Also, I have no respect for Psychology Today.)

You don't have any respect for "Psychology Today"??!! Why, all the people in their ads glow. Those therapists in the nice business clothing glow.

I don't care much for "Psychology Today," either. Can you tell?

I wish I had a bit more of such a glow! It doesn't belong to Mormons particularly, but hey, doesn't it have advantages? Makes you more approachable, gives you an edge in business and personal relationships, etc.

I have the oppostite problem! I'm happy and generally optimistic, but get asked why I'm not! I don't have a glow.

The best way to lose that glo is to tell someone that you are having doubts about the church. Usually if somebody knows you are "struggling" with you testimonial, they will caustically quip that "you seem to have this darkness about you".

Yeah I've got that same problem, except its the pregnancy glow that won't go away.

Random stranger: "Aww, when are you due?"

Me: "2 months ago"

I've had the same conversation, but the most recent time I was asked my due date, I had to say, "Eleven years ago."

Yes, that should do the trick!

Facial hair, long hair, piercings, tatoos, f-bombs...

roll your own cigarettes

+100

Just wear a pentagram or a crucifix around your neck.

Problem solved.


Ana

PS. I glow with the absolute rock solid certainty that I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Mormon Church is not true.

This glow is hard to distinguish from the glow of absolute certainty that Joseph Smith is a prophet and blah, blah, blah.

So plan B could be start asking for directions. Uncertainty will suck that glow right off your face.

One time I was at a New Years Eve party where the host hired a psychic to do readings just for fun. I'm not into any of that, so I stayed away from her--but out of a whole crowd of people, the psychic singled me out and asked me if I was Mormon. What? I hadn't been in a LDS church for 15 years and only my husband knew my background, so I was stumped. Maybe I have some sort of glow or perhaps it is a mark.

Are you tense or relaxed? I'm thinking--perhaps wrongly--that Mormons tend to carry a tension that is responsible for "the glow." Is it possible you are simply a bit tense rather than relaxed? Perhaps some regular relaxation exercises?

lol I must have lost it some time ago, I told my brother who works with me today and about 20 mins after I left I got a txt about what should he tell people that are asking him what's up with me.

I said tell them to ask me, not him.

Not sure how I got rid of it so easily, maybe it was wearing a gotee for the last 10 years...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2013 06:33AM by sparkyguru.

They call it a glow.

I call it looking like a Mormon.

I can spot a Mormon they don't look happy, spiritual, peaceful or fulfilled. It's written all over them. Hair style, dress, facial expressions.

Blast some death metal in your cubicle.

Nobody will ever think you're Mormon again.

Pull up your left nut and let it hang out over your belt.