Need some advice on this guys and girls,

I recently exited a relationship with an LDS woman, but now she is trying to get back together. All this after me refusing the missionary discussions, and not showing any interest in the church. I was polite about it and told her upfront I am not a religious individual, she said she wanted to date an RM, and that was that. I intended on making it a clean break and being done with her, but like a week ago she shows up wanting to get back together and the next day the elders show up on the doorstep, literature in hand, which was followed by a refusal by me and them saying they will see me later. I already told them to knock it off and my next move is to call their church and tell them to knock it off then if that doesn't work see how I can go about having them arrested for tresspassing next time they pull this. I called the woman I still call my ex and she denied having this arranged. I wanted to know, do the LDS pull this alot? I really have nothing against the LDS, they did nothing to me, but when I say no I mean it and unlike most people I will use whatever legal means I can.

I'd ditch the missionaries AND your ex.
"The Spirit" might be "telling her" to do it. That is, she's all emotional and her wishes become revelations from God. She might "know" that you're the one.
I'd tell her straight, you'll never be what she's already told you she wants, an RM. Not only that, you'll never be a Mormon, and never "take her to the temple".
It's not fair to either of you to rekindle this fire.
Even if she says oh that's OK, you already know she's settling for you, wishing you were something more.
I'm an RM myself ('90-'92), age 40 now. I'm actually rather insulted that "RM" was a prerequisite to marry me. Especially now that I'm an apostate, and DW can't help but let on that she's disappointed.

The Mormon Church is a scam and you are wise to want nothing to do with them. It seems unlikely that the missionaries just happened to show up on your doorstep when they did. Your ex GF almost certainly put them up to it.

Since you are not currently entangled with her you should definitely just let well enough alone and tell her that you do not want to re-kindle the relationship.

The religious incompatibility between you and your ex is a deal breaker. Better to recognize that now than after you invest any more time and energy in the relationship.

This gal has already demonstrated her dis-honesty. She appears desperate (aren't all TBM Mor(m)on girls) and can't find an RM so you're next on the list (probably the only one on the list). You will never meet her criterial and if she can hook into an RM your toast anyway. I wouldn't give her a break or the time of day. Move on and be grateful you didn't get trapped.

The GF may be telling the truth that she did not have 'had the missionary meeting arranged'..... although it's 99% likely she gave them your name and address, and the missionaries did the arranging themselves :-) - a neat get-out clause.

she may like you.... a lot.... but she is a member of a predatory money-grubbing organisation.
If she has a mormon family, you are unlikely to get her out of the church..... she will have been brought up with an expectation of going with her husband to the temple and being sealed...... so she will expect you to join the cult and take part in everything that entails. the tithing, the 3 hour sunday meetings, the callings, the word of wisdom.

my advice. Tell her that you will never see her again until she dumps the cult...... then move on with your life and find a *real* girlfriend who will put YOUR RELATIONSHIP above any church.

I concur with everything here... Especially this last one.

and consider you a potential convert.

Once your name shows up a person of interest to contact, who knows how many lists it may be copied to. You dated a Mormon girl and they consider you friendly to the Church or sympatric to their cause.

Mormons live in the fantisy the everyone wants what they have, if you just listen to what they are selling you'll buy in.

On a different track...

"a week ago she shows up wanting to get back together"

Hmmm.

I've never had any ex- ever want to get back together with me. They were all happy to be rid of me.

FlattopSF used to write that the Mormon church is the pimp and it uses its young women as its whores.

You're seeing the model in action right now. You asked: "Do the LDS pull this a lot?" The answer is: "they pull this all the time."

Next time she or they call or show up, hang up the phone, slam and lock the door. Good luck.

and i remember that quote too.... so twoo!!
and Vidar... do like the monty pythons characters
"RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!!
OR
"I FART IN THY GENERAL DIRECTION"...maybe this one is used AS you run away!! :)
hey what do you want...i am OLD!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2011 03:05PM by bignevermo.

She still wants a RM who can take her to the temple. That isn't you.

I would feel free to start sharing some faith-disrupting facts with both her and the missionaries. Tell them both that it doesn't sit right with you that Joesph Smith married more than thirty women, with two of them being fourteen years old (in an era when the average age of first marriage for women was over twenty.) You also don't like the fact that eleven of those women were already married to other men. Or that sixteen year old Fanny Alger, who was living in the Smith household, and whom Emma treated like a daughter, was "unable to conceal the consequences of her celestial relation with the prophet."

http://wivesofjosephsmith.org/

Tell them about the false "translation" of the Book of Abraham. Tell them about how Joseph "translated" most of the BOM by putting his head in a hat. Why isn't that the most common picture shown of him doing that work? Tell them about the varying first vision accounts.

Do that enough, and you'll chase all of them off.

Tell her that you will get back together, if you get to "sample the goods, first". That should do the trick...

Um, I already "sampled the goods". No love lost over that.
I haven't tried the multiple wives thing yet, I have brought up what concerns me, the bank fraud Joseph Smith pulled. If he did that in this day and age he would be in a jail cell. That, and I had relatives way back when that railroaded the Mormons out of nauvoo. That whole persecution story is BS. They got tired of them stealing their chickens and anything else that wasn't nailed down then having the balls to claim god said they could have it and they should be tolerant of it. My relatives favorite answer back then was good, guessing the good lord wouldn't mind you having some lead too. Those two stories I did tell them followed by get the hell off my property and don't come back. I still have not had any results trying to contact someone from the local congregation so if that doesn't pan out like I said earlier I am going to see how to go about having them charged with tresspassing next time they show up. And yes, I did tell her to go find an RM. I refuse to be 2nd best to someone just because they served a mission and she does come from a devout mormon family. I don't know what it is, but they all remind me out of something from children of the corn. sure mormons worship god and not the one who walks behind the rows?

Stand your ground. You won't regret it. Don't let any emotion you may still have towards her lead you into doing something that's not in your own best interest, and believe me, getting back together isn't.

To be honest, some of you are really making me a little nervous. I just said I would do what I have to if the missionaries keep being a pain. So far so good. You act like the girl, her friends and family, and Mormon church will not ever leave me alone. Its not like I was ever a member. I flat out told her last week its over and to go find someone else. Just what am I in for?

You sampled the goods--now she is soiled and a good RM won't want her . . . (well, that is what they let you believe).

I was that girl (except he didn't sample the goods). I sent the missionaries, too. His dad (back together after 28 years apart) gives me a hard time about it. I did let him go though. I didn't stalk him. The only thing I did is send the missionaries.

I'd keep up the strong approach. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

I don't believe the whole RM's won't want her thing for a second. It's truely amazing the compromises people will make religious or not. Infact, I would think someone like an RM would eventually take her because unlike someone like me who has no pressure whatsoever to marry, from what I have heard there is big pressure on Rm's to tie the knot ASAP.

If she emails, texts, or calls, I suggest you ignore it. Any response to her (positive or negative) will fuel her efforts. You have said your good byes. Leave it at that and it will gradually go away but you may find the missionaries lurking for a while. Once they have your name, they tend to pass it on, and on, and on. Good luck...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2011 02:29PM by dane.

If the missionaries persist, consider this approach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0p4_GGDbS0

In Sept of 94 I had this exact same thing happening to me. Without this as a resource, I married a brainwashed mormon dipshit.

Things were OK for a few years, then she got re-indoctrinated by a 6-alarm Molly Mormon that she met in the neighborhood.

She had our oldest son baptized against my wishes, and that was the final straw. We divorced after 12 years and three kids and it probably will cost me my relationship with my kids, and it definetely cost me six figures in the divorce process.

If she continues to pursue you, ask her what church the kids are going to go to. Not that you should entertain the thought of trying to work through that.

That's the thing, I do not go to a church. It's more like being afraid of being sucked in to hers. And that comment about you most likely ruining the relationship with your kids and loosing 6 figures, thats exactly why I do not want to go back into this. I work in accounting and next to health issues, the next big thing that can totally ruin a man financially is a divorce. I was one of those kids who grew up in the 90's, so I was more or less scared single.

hmm, try this one on the mormons next time they hassle you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgudh68sHwc

You need to be commended for staying true to yourself and your gut feelings and not buying into the whole "Acceptance" phenomenon that goes on with many many organizations and religions around the world. This is good advice for any young man out there still considering staying with the Mormon church just because you "THINK" you love and care about a young woman in this cult or you just want to feel accepted only under all kinds of conditions the church holds over peoples heads.

Don't ever allow a dumb ass Mormon bitch play mind games with you and tell you you're not good enough for her unless you serve a mission or take her to the temple.

Don't ever allow anyone or any church organization tell you you're not good enough or worthy enough, only if you meet certain requirements. If you believe in a Loving, caring God, he loves you unconditionally, regardless of what you say or do. The God LDS church believes in is mostly about conditional Love and that's just wrong.

The fastest way to find yourself out of the LDS church, is when you know for yourself that all the crap they hold over your head, is fucking with your mind and emotions more than you ever dealt with before you joined and after you chose to step away, then you'll know and sense a huge freedom from all their bullshit they try to cram down your throat. When you know and sense something just doesn't feel right, then it's time to leave.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2011 02:51PM by experienceheals.

Just run. There are plenty of fish in the sea that aren't Mormon.

Thats the thing right there. I have nothing against the LDS church, but when I look at their doctorine, how much it has changed, the controversy, and the out right lies and minipulation they pull its amazing.

I will share this observation I have made. I did meet a few of her relatives and friends once a party for some new converts. there were 11 I think. It was either they very young and naive, the weak-minded, or the elderly. Not trying to bash any of these groups, but they were all people who were easy to take advantage of and were the most susceptable to charismatic persuasion (I.E young clean cut missionaries who's every other phrase is either we love you or we care about you). Not saying I am better than they are, but here I am a man in his late 20's, educated, and working towards being middle and hopefully upper middle class, but I did not see the likes of me in the ranks of new converts. That really put me at ill ease. About the only people I had anything in common with were the middle-aged men who were in financial services who I suspect sold most of their stuff to the congregation.
I think the biggest thing is how so many of the young couples my age would have multiple children with no real solid career aspects, or people in their mid 20's without even a college degree having their 2nd or 3rd kid! I don't dislike children, but I am of the mindset if you have kids, have fewer of them and wait till you can afford to give them every edge possible to compete in the global economy. No matter what I did there was just no connect with any of the people my age. Once again, it was like something out of children of the corn.

Give her an ultimatum - if she really wants to get back together, resign from the church and show the confirmation letter that she's aware baptisms etc. have been canceled.

That'll show where you fall on the list.

I was reading a good quote by al bundy "Run silent; run deep... just run."

if you read enough of the personal stories on these boards, you will find one thing stands out.

Mormons will often choose Church over and above husbands, wives, sons, daughters, parents and lovers.

I have been doing just that, and I have to say I am scared by what I see. How is it an organization that claims to love family can cause so much damage. I'm trying to imagine myself in the middle of this. Most likely would I go insane, I would probably loose everything else in the process. This just strengthened my resolve to be done with her.

"Run boy. Ruuuuuunnnnn!" Oh run.