I was 16 years old, the very first seminary had started in our town. The subject that year was the book of mormon. I Remember thinking that I can now determine for myself if it is true or not. We got these huge boms, with full page picture of paintings and South American pyramids. This was 1961-1962. This was the first time I had read it from cover to cover. When we got all the way through it, we came to Moroni's promise. I remember going on to school that day thinking that "I have done all I have been asked," I faked some of it, but I thought overall I have done what god has asked regarding this book. I had read it, discussed it in class. I had been sort of a cut up, but I paid more attention to it than other subjects.

After school, I went to my room. It was a very quiet place, and I had great anticipation getting on my knees. I was anxious to hear god speak, excited to know how I would feel when he told me it was all true. I prayed. I prayed with more sincerity than I ever had before. I honestly thought I would finally get an answer that could become a foundation for my life. I asked to know if the book was true. I prayed to get the feeling in me so I could tell that it was from god. . . .

Nothing.

I thought there was something about me. Maybe I didn't ask right, but god surely heard my prayers. I prayed over and over. I prayed for a week.

Nothing.

I wanted to know if it was true and the only thing I got was sore knees. I knew god answered prayers, he helped me find a pocket knife I had misplaced when I prayed about it when I was seven. Why then, was there no answer for this?

Then about 10 days later, I finally got an answer. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I getting down on my knees again to ask one more time. I had a thought, "why are you doing this?" the next thought was, "you already have your answer, why do you keep doing this?"

There was no answer. I began to realize that there never would be an answer, because there is no answer. It is not true. Not even true enough to deserve an answer. Not even a whisper, much less a feeling. I realized how stupid I had been, to ask an imaginary friend, magic guy in the sky, to know if a book is true.

I had to keep going to church, for my mom. I was done, though. I had found the answer for myself. I went into the army when I was 18' and never looked back, til I had kids, but that is for another story. This is my story so far. I know the book is not true.

:)