Every time I talk to nevermos at work and get into a deep discussion about things, I start to unload on them. It is this weird feeling I get - that they care enough to talk to me about my problems but don't judge me at all. Having those two very simple attributes gives them angel status in my eyes. I know, I know. I shouldn't be like a little child and trust everyone. But it amazes me how I perceive these outsiders and get the feeling like I can just lean my head on their shoulder and start crying about my troubles, so to speak.

It is as if I've never really met other grown ups like this before. "You mean you don't care what I believe?!" and "You mean, you just want to listen and don't have an agenda?!"

Truly, they are angels.

My DW recently had the same experience at a women's ski camp. There was a Catholic woman, a lesbian doctor, and many others. All of them were so nice to her just because they were nice. They had nothing to prove to her. She was amazed as I always am.

We talked about it for a while. Why did we never notice this about nevermos before? Were we just uptight pricks? DW thinks so. I don't. I think the church trained us to be pricks with agendas and expect everyone else to have agendas.

I think everyone might be wondering, "Smeagol, did you have any friends as a TBM?" You know, that is an interesting question! I had very meaningful friends in high school and college. But I'm starting to wonder about later in life... My ward friends were just not that deep or meaningful.

I think it is time for me to start breaking out of my shell. Time for Mr. and Mrs. Smeagol to get out!

I've found that one's predisposition towards people can become a self-fulfilling prophecy - you expect people to be nice and they are (with exceptions, of course).

If you're raised to believe others are inferior and of the devil, then people somehow pick up that you're not so open to them - LOL - and respond accordingly. And vice versa.