I received many calls over the last few days regarding conference. Some of the sentiments reminded me of the struggles I used to face after every session. Inevitably, one or two talks made me feel good about my membership in the church; the great majority of the talks bored me to tears; and then there was always at least one talk that filled me with despair.

Is that really the message God wanted the general membership of the church to hear? That was inspired by the creator of the universe? I give these men my time, money, and allegiance? I wear the underwear that man wants me to wear?

A very good friend who is an incredible example of what I admire about mormons had that tone in his voice as he described BKP's talk to me. He said, "I realized that I did not agree with one thing that man was saying, but I sustain him as an apostle of Jesus Christ."

All I could do was say, "Trust me. I know how that feels."

According to what's written in the New Testament (NT), did Jesus criticize and condemn gays, lesbians, prostitutes, atheists, agnostics and other individuals who didn't fit the 'mold' in patriarchal Judaism? No, he did not. The people Jesus DID rebuke were the religious leaders - Pharisees, Sadducees, etc. - for their ego-driven hypocrisy, narrow-mindedness, insensitivity, inflexibility, and addiction to control. "Hypocrites" and "white-washed tombs filled with bones" are the descriptives in the NT attributed to Jesus relative to the Jewish religious leaders of the day.

The NT describes Jesus condemning those 'spiritual' leaders for turning a blind eye to the needs of the poor, sick, widowed and orphaned. The story of the impoverished widow donating her last mite while Jewish religious leaders very publicly gave alms (and lived comfortably!) mirrors what's gone on in the LDS Church for generations: members, including those in the Third and Developing World, struggling to get by financially, year after year, while LD$ Inc. takes their cash and spends millions and billions of dollars to increase its HUGE wealth (~$50B).

As you aware that LD$ Inc. has been spending $3+ billion on its shopping-mall-and-condos project in SLC, tens of millions of dollars on its new hotel in Hawaii, and $60+ million to buy up real estate holdings over the past 12 months alone? According to its own published numbers, the church - a.k.a. LD$ Inc. - donates less than 1% of its multi-billion-dollar annual income for humanitarian purposes (ref. http://www.postmormon.org/exp_e/index.php/discussions/viewthread/19091/).

Guess how many of the LDS Church's 17 priceless Rembrandt works of art the 'Prophet' has ordered to be auctioned off and the cash donated to help financially struggling Latter-day Saints, or starving children, or people in the Third World who desperately need medical attention? One? Two? NONE! That's how 'Christian' the 'one, true' corporation of Jesus Christ is!!

Duder, it would be interesting to me to find out what my daughter thought when she heard Packer. After how he handled me years ago, I could never listen to his talks again even though I stayed active for another 10 years or so. I don't understand how she could sit and listen to what he said about her own father as my daughter dearly loves her father and is close to his gay friends/boyfriends. It takes a lot of work to keep that shelf from falling.

"I hope somebody needed to hear this, because I sure as hell didn't want to hear it."

Now, I understand that I should have been listening to my own thoughts, instead of trying to filter the thoughts of those old men into something that worked for me.