Angrier than I've been in a very long time. I have so much that I realize I'm virulently angry about, but I just can't get the words out.

Why are you so upset? What triggered it?

It's sick & wrong, for everyone, adults included.

It's a narrow, exclusionary group that is riddled with painful contradictions. It claims to be all about agency, but actually hates agency. It claims to be about truth but actually hates rational truth about itself. It claims to be all about family, but puts itself first over family in the hearts and minds of its followers. It claims to value integrity but attacks the integrity of anyone who questions or leaves the group.

For god's sake, it's an excruciatingly obvious made-up cult, devoted to dominating and fleecing good, kind people, that has taken hold as an entire American subculture, giving it disgusting amounts of material leverage and power to hold and abuse in promoting itself.

What's not to be pissed off about?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 10:30AM by derrida.

Well said derrida,

I was thinking about some of this over the weekend.

So let me get this straight, the founder of this religion sleeps with 14 year old brides and has sex with other men's wives, and then I discover all of this sordid mess (just to name one issue I have a problem with).

But it's ME who's got the problem. I'm the shady one, the shunned one and the one gossiped about in my neighborhood/ward?!

I'm the one on truth's trail here.

Good hell, you'd think the opposite would be true.

That the person shunned would be the weirdo that defends and invents apologies for Joseph Smith's sexual deviancy and behavior?!

Again, this is just one issue, there are many!

But I'm made to feel like I'm the one with the problem!?!

Bugs Bugs Bugs!!!!

Exactly! Thanks for the summary of what it really is.

I'm imagining how various people in my family would react to this statement.

Some day.......

I personally find it very comforting to know that when others who have wasted time and money in the cult realize what it truly is they too are just plain mad as hell. I figured it out some 12 years ago and I'm still mad as hell today. Sometimes I think I'm more angry now than I was at first because the longer I live now the more I realized they stole from me...Not just money but so much of my youth and dreams crushed by the free agency cult of lies

Did something happen or is it just a dawning realization?

You might need to start Morning Pages just to drain off the anger so it doesn't poison your creativity and peace the rest of the day. I can vouch for this method - it was as effective for my mood as acupuncture was for my shoulder injury.

Nothing short of miraculous!

Best

Anagrammy

Anagrammy, Do you mean starting the day by writing down on papers the things that make you angry?

Yes, exactly.

I found myself facing old age just furious. The accumulation of a lifetime of false accusations and not being believed and being cheated by people I trusted and some I loved ...was just too much.

I had an ulcer, acid reflux, was eating myself into diabetes and could not see how life was worth living in a world this unfair. I felt like I had wasted my life groveling for God's approval, wasted my mind and what education I'd been able to get, etc.

My anger was destroying any chance for happiness I might have with the remainder of my life, but since it was justifiable anger, I didn't know how to get rid of it.

Of course, under the anger was deep, deep hurt. I won't go into all the reasons, but you can imagine.

I decided to change my thinking because it's the only thing I had any power over. Since I didn't have any money, I decided to start by opening my black and white mind, starting with a book on Intuition. To my great surprise, my own intuition was more reliable than praying to Jesus (hope not to offend). This was exciting--a ray of hope.

Then I went to a bookstore and picked up some more self-help books - New Age stuff that the old me would have scoffed at. One of them was "Silence Speaks" by Eckhart Tolle. It had the most arresting first sentence I had ever read:

"You might not need to buy this book." What author says that?

Next, "You might just need to hold it to be reminded of what you already know."

I bought that book and immediately learned something new. That silence is a response, it is not "no" response. Silence is the auditory equivalent of negative space in art.

By the fact that I was surprised I learned something new, I realized that thinking I know everything was holding me back from reframing my life for happiness.

The next book taught me about Morning Pages. "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron is a book I've recommended here on RfM to many. It was written to help artists, dancers, writers and other creative types overcome blocks and restore creativity. What it did for me was to help me to restore my wholeness as a person and to stop looking for the love and approval of others to feel like a worthwhile person. (note: I was never aware I was doing that until I stopped).

Cameron says that anger represses the finer thoughts and blocks joy. It suffocates joy. By starting the day with Morning Pages, I was able to drain off the negative feelings before I started work. Right away, I felt better physically.

I repeated myself, accusing my children of heartless cruelty and documenting the mean things they said and did. I called them names, I ranted in a big careless scrawl. I bought Composition Books at the dollar store and filled them with descriptions of injustices at church, in marriage, at work, from friends, from family.

Since I frequently woke up angry and with a headache, it took a few weeks before the headaches went away and I started sleeping better. I kept it up and after three months, the first day came when I didn't feel like I had any angry feelings to write.

This was the beginning of my new life, really. This was in 2004 just after my third marriage ended in divorce. It saved my life and I began learning how to meditate and gradually the Morning Pages were replaced by sitting, candles, and music I would have called "strange" at best in my former life.

Fast forward to this past Mother's Day. My alcoholic son wrote me a letter from rehab. He is in his forties and all his life has made fun of my search for meaning as the search for "Deep Thoughts." I received four huge beribboned cards from my girls and yesterday I framed the 3-hole punched notebook paper he sent me. It said, "You say a lot of stuff I don't get, but the example you have set of changing your life later in life, in the face of the skepticism of others (me) means more to me than you know. If you can do it, so can I.

So, yeah, I recommend Morning Pages.


Best

Anagrammy

Thanks for explaining and for the tips.
I appreciate it.

Thanks anagrammy - I just downloaded it on my kindle. I wake up angry a lot of mornings - it almost helps me wake up and focus about my day but I can see from reading the reviews and what you say, that I'd better think of another way to approach each morning. I usually forget about being mad after a cup or two of coffee but it's still a bad habit I got into after going to bed late because I'd stayed up half the night reading about Mormonism. So of course I woke up mad. I can't wait to read this book.

CAgirl, my theory is that I can measure the health of my mental state by the mood I wake up in. Because that's what my subconscious has been doing all night and its before I've had a chance to tinker with it (coffee, music, etc.)

If I wake up with a pervasive sense of sadness, I know I need something special that day- a special meal or, if possible, changing my activities to something I really enjoy--like a trip to the library or the thrift store.

I owe a great debt to Julia Cameron. Hope you enjoy her as well--and let us know how it goes. I have received emails of people who have benefitted from her this, her first (and IMO best) book.

I still use some of her other techniques, like my weekly Artist's Date with myself.

Best

Anagrammy

+1 Derrida.

I too have times when I am so angry at the cult that I see nothing but red.

The trigger for me is some of my kids and grandkids that are TBM---seeing how they are taught by the MORmON church to follow, follow, follow and that to use their own critical thinking is not the "correct" thing to do. I feel quilty for the years I was in the church with my kids and allowed the church to play a role in their lives and now they are caught in that snare.

But then, to get out of this glooming thinking, I look at the list of problems that glaringly stare at me concerning the church, and tell myself that by my example my kids and grandkids can see a different path----one based on looking at facts and evidence, integrity, honesty and FREEDOM to be my own person.

Hang on. We will make it, Right is might.

The cult tried to steal our lives. And it succeeded for awhile in capturing our time, energy, talents and money. If a con artist did this, the law would eventually catch up with him.

In contrast, LDS, Inc. continues to enjoy its tax free status while it perpetuates its lies around the world.

So, yeah, getting angry is an appropriate response.

When you're that mad, find a punching bag and get it OUT.

I've found that when I'm angry, hitting things and breaking things only makes me angrier. Cussing/swearing makes me angrier also.

Penn & Teller did a P&T's Bull$#!t episode about anger management, and one of the most interesting parts for me was a study that confirmed what I mentioned above: physical expression of anger creates and perpetuates anger.

I can confirm that since I chose to stop cussing and hitting/breaking things when angry, I am much more peaceful.

I may have to try the Morning Pages exercises. This sounds like another path to continued peace.

Maybe because all the things people are saying on here today are particularly upsetting with regard to how many people seem to be suffering right now. I see topic after topic that makes me angry on what people are having to go through lately. Very upsetting. Included in this are additional topics like asking for money to support missionaries and people contemplating getting involved in Mormon relationships, teenagers stuck not knowing how to get out, women made to feel trashy for having sex for 2 seconds; It's awful.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 02:39PM by snuckafoodberry.

See, that's the problem. It is JUSTIFIABLE anger, but the negative effect on your body is the same. Your body doesn't know the difference.

Managing the anger is not discounting the injustice. It is being smart in not letting the cult take away your peace even after you have recognized what they are and left.

We are definitely all in this together and we deserve great happiness and freedom in whatever of our life is left to live.


Anagrammy

I can empathize with the anger. My anger knew no bounds. I was often awake at 3:00, and shaking with fury. I had reasons I won't go into, such as extreme physical abuse from my temple spouse, which the Mormons denied, excused, and even condoned. According to D & C 132, I was his property, and he could do anything he wanted to me. I divorced him to save my life, but was never allowed to remarry in the temple, or do get a temple divorce. I tried for many years to get a temple divorce, and the rules kept changing. I finally found out that his GA relative had been stopping me. Is this God's church? My ex has married a total of three women in the temple--and has beaten them all, and his children as well. He is considered "a member in good standing" and has had high callings. As I went online to review the new temple divorce rules, I stumbled on RFM.

Oh, the anger and bitter tears, with each new horrible lie that I uncovered! On top of the history, was the Mormon abuse my children suffered, at the hands of the priesthood leaders--and all this was OK in the MOrmon cult! Those same leaders were promoted up the ranks to Bishop, SP, mission presidents. UGH! I didn't sleep well for two weeks.

Anger! A wasted childhood in a dysfunctional Mormon family that believed in physical punishment and destructive criticism. A second marriage almost pulled apart by the Mormon cult. Coming very close to alienating my own children by following the rules of Mormon parenthood and forcing my children to go to a church they hated.

My Mormon brother stole money from our inheritance. His son tried to take money from the family business. I sued for what I could get, and sold out my share.

I honestly thought the anger would never end. It went on for several years, but gradually dissipated. I would like to say that I forgave the Mormons, but that is not the case.

I got over the anger by getting Mormonism out of my life.The best thing that could have happened was that our family resigned together. We limited ourselves to a two-page letter, but everything was in there, written and signed.

But there is still the residual anger, when Mormons continue to act rude. I had new anger to deal with, with Prop 8, the destruction of downtown Salt Lake City (a city I had loved), the expenses of the City Creek Mall, GBH's new lies, the Mormons continuing to harass my children to return to the cult, Missionaries knocking on our door, Mormons threatening me with destruction and telling me to read the BOM (already read it 7 times). Mormon neighbors who used to be my "friends", whose children played at my house, to whom I brought dinners when they were sick--now scowl and look the other way, as though I didn't exist. At first it made me cry, but now it makes me angry.

The only way for me to avoid anger is to avoid Mormons altogether. Honestly, I tried to keep Mormon friendships and to get along nicely, but that did not work. Now, I shop at different stores, see only non-Mormon friends, spend more time with my children, and am very happy at my Mormon-free workplace (we keep it that way, though we can't admit it). I have stopped going to family reunions and weddings, and no one cares.

Most of all, finally, I don't care. I'm the one shunning the Mormons and their silly ideas and busywork, gossipy, judgmental conversations. I certainly don't miss their racism. These people think women are second-class citizens. Why did we ever want to hang out with people like that?

Is "dislike" the same as hatred? Is avoidance just another manifest of anger? I don't think so.

You will recover.

I served three years in the Army. Got married and raised a son who went to a university. Still married now and retired after three and a half decades in heavy industry and service. Self sufficient (never asked relatives for a dime). I have a clean record and own my home.

I am most hated in my TBM family, because I'm an atheist. Other siblings have been in and out of jail, written bad checks, had to ask Daddy for numerous bailouts, left spouses for wealthier (and church-connected replacement spouses), gotten court warrants, plea bargained, etc. They difference is that they profess Mormon belief.

Guess who's been disowned?
You're not alone in your anger.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2013 07:09PM by donbagley.

I just want to resign right fucking now. I stopped believing almost 29 years ago. I wanted to go inactive with my dad when he did 24 years ago, but couldn't. I really wanted to go inactive when I graduated from high school 19 years ago. I wanted to resign 16 years ago when I found out that one could. & I wanted to really resign when I finally went inactive 12 1/2 years ago.

This has been a whole lifetime, waiting this long to be rid of the cult from my life. & yet I know that even after I'm finally able to resign, it will still be in my life in one way or another.

I can see that others have hurt alot by mormonism and arrogant self-rightous leaders etc. My wife was deported by gossip racists and their associates, that I had the bad luck of growing up in the gospel with, one who was 2nd in charge to the nazi movement, a hitler serving mormon with a testimony. With anger, grief and suicidal tendency all that I'de been through, and finally returned to australia with my wife with her new permanent visa after 2 years of muslem war hell, the new bishop of Perth Dianella temple stake who went onto stake pres, terminated my attendance for telling my story, plus gossip had reached his ears that I was running down racists, but rather the fact I was just telling my story, I was so hurt and so was my wife. I was branded an apostate rather than simply got a hug or compassion that was obvious I was hurting.
What a monster of a man, just like his father stake president before him, who also was a mission pres that sent a man home for having a wet dream over his bride to be, thus robbed him of temple marrige, as broke up and committed suicide.

The lds church can be hideous evil my ex mormon friends.
I have never seen in modern day such filthy rags of rightousness in operation, more so than any other christian relegion. But then again mormonism is hardly christian arnt it.

Tho I foundly found the answer to keeping the word of wisdom that works for me as breaking it, was the only way to cope with not only suicidal thoughts but harmful thoughts toward the stake pres of Dianella western australia. But becomming vegitarian, the beast went out of me. Tho I still like coffie, nicotine gum and working on just drinking decaf, and as acohol like beer has sugar in it, can lead to breaking all the rules and smoke again. But the laws of health challenge is not a mormon thing anymore just my own fun in trying and see where it leads spiriutally and with a thinking brain that gives me no guilt agency if want to have the odd binge days per month, but generarlly my anger subsides to know I can keep all the mormon commandments afterall but it only leads to arrogance and self-rightousness. It pays to let the beast have a day to wrath against all relegions, being in power and control in oneself not a father xmas god outside of ourselfs.
Authority of mormon leaders, one must defend YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME.. Never again will I take the shit from lawer bishops and stake presidents who is above the common man, stinking rags of rightous leaders. No wonder jesus hated pharrisees. Mormon leaders are full of them, save a few who know the true meaning of compassion, and one who does and is my friend is a primary school teacher, and is a kind parent that invites me back to church but when he is released as stake pres, who knows a dozen to follow will not be as kind as this one special man who has helped healed my wounds from the bastard lawer stake president from the other stake that left me suspicious for life, that mormonism could well be and proberbly is a malicious cult and greedy money empire foundation of hell.

thankyou for listening.........australian.