Years ago, I was assigned to visit teach a girl in her early twenties who had a baby out of wedlock and was living with her parents. This girl wanted nothing to do with being visited every month...understandably.
The girl would never take my calls, so her mother would just set up a time for my partner and me to come. At the time, I thought it was perfectly appropriate for the girl's mother to make an appointment for her daughter. It was so awkward. When we would visit, we would sit in her living room and the girl would pout and cross her arms and not talk or respond to any questions. Sometimes the girl's mother would sit in on our visits and angrily prompt her to participate. It was clear that the girl wanted nothing to do with Mormonism, but for whatever reason I thought we should assist her mother in forcing it on her.
I hated the whole experience. But, I thought that it was what I SHOULD be doing because Mormonism is all about getting you to do things that are generally out of your comfort zone and feel completely unnatural.
I spoke at my brother's missionary farewell despite the fact that I was a 19 year old apostate with a child out of wedlock and (gasp!) earrings in both ears. I was probably hung over and I think I wore a polo shirt to speak but I don't remember. It definitely wasn't a white shirt and tie. Honestly, I have no idea why they let me speak. I was respectful though and just said that I thought my brother would be a good missionary but I'm sure the old folks in attendance were a little distraught. I know my dad was about to blow a gasket the whole day.
As soon as I was done speaking I walked right out and one of the older guys that thought he was in charge because he sat back by the doors and opened them at the appropriate times (you know the guy I'm talking about) tried to hold me up on my way out by doing the get in front and try for a handshake move. I'll always remember his angry and frustrated voice as I briefly shook his hand and walked out. "You should say Hello!", he seethed. What a f'd up cult.
My brother was not a good missionary. While he was there, he was questioned about girls, drinking, going out of his zone, having inappropriate magazines etc. and they even let him come home a little early because he quit towards the end. Now he's an exmo just like the rest of us.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2013 03:27PM by Albinolamanite.
I took a new convert of the opposite sex to a singles ward party - at the request of the MISSIONARIES!!!!
I didn't know him at all, had never seen him before, but was told he needed fellowshipping. As I talked to him on the drive to the party he told me he was living with his girlfriend and she was not happy about him joining the church. I asked him if he loved her and he said that he did but that the Bishop was telling him to move out and have no contact with her. WTF?!
Why didn't they ask a guy instead of a tall, skinny, single blonde?
- converted someone who then went on a mission for two years (and giving up a promising sporting career) before he realised the truth and left - told a close friend that his church was false and only TSCC was true. He was really upset with me for a while. I felt I was saying what God wanted me to. - confessions with bishops - some of whom have become good friends years later after they've been released - refused a few amazing opportunities to 'have fun' with girls before my mission - as EQP, under the direction of the Bishop I worked closely with a prospective missionary to overcome his 'masturbation problem' - recounted some mission experiences in job interviews as I thought God would reward me for doing so - gossiped unkindly about people that left the church, assuming they were weak and easily offended - not even mentioning anything about the endowment to my then fiancé when she went through the temple for the first time (because I felt it was sacred). She hated the experience and was miffed because it was all a shock and no one prepared her for it - telling investigators they had to give up tea and coffee
And the very worst of all..... (I'm clenching my toes just thinking about it)........wearing full missionary attire and badge for a University interview & open weekend I had to get permission to attend on my own whilst I was still serving. I felt proud at the time but no doubt many of the kids thought I was really weird. I subsequently went to the uni after my mission and some kids remembered me from my mission uniform. Why oh why didn't I just wear normal clothes and allow others to call me by my first name???? Aggghhhhhhhhhh
Digressing, but amazing, did not know they allowed time off for Uni visits and interviews!! Double wow that you were 'brave' enough to wear full attire!!
Agreed...fast offerings was the worst. Took my son to each and every house on the route, even though I knew there were some who wanted nothing to do with TSCC.
I finally got it when I went to a very poor house of a lady that I knew probably didn't have a job. She paid in loose change, apologizing profusely. She died about a month later, and I finally got it - at least a little bit more. After we only went to TBMs homes who knew I we would be missed next Sunday.
One - I had a roommate who admitted that she had something she needed to talk to the bishop about (I don't know what, because I never asked and she never explained) but that she was scared. I called the exec. sec. pretending to be her and made an appointment - without her permission. When it was time to go meet with the bishop, she wanted to blow it off, but I guilted her into going. I feel like slime just confessing that.
I judged my siblings who were closest to my age for leaving the church in their teens. I got over it after about five years of being a total bitch, but the damage was done.
My best friend's uncle was gay and lived with his partner. They ran a business out of their house. They were nice guys.
One time we were at my friend's mom's work office. So it's me, my friend, my brother, and my friend's mom. Somehow the subject of homosexuality came up and my friend said something about how "some people think it's wrong..."
I said, "well, it IS wrong.." and then caught myself because I remembered my friend's mom's brother was gay. I tried to apologize but she just looked at me and said, "no, if you believe it's wrong then that's your opinion."
But I was mortified. Mostly because I didn't even mean to say it. It just came out. It was already out when I realized what I was saying. It was programming, plain & simple. I've never forgotten that moment because I realized I had no good reason to believe being gay was wrong. I just knew it was wrong because my church said so.
I've sometimes thought about emailing that lady and thanking her for being so nice about it and letting her know that I'm not a cult member anymore and I think for myself now..
Pressured into marrying my now ex husband. I came off my mission and I liked the guy and he was wonderful, but there was something not right about him. I was from the generation of Pres.Kimball saying if you put men and women in a room with temple recommends you will have good marriages. Also I was told I needed to listen to my leaders and this guy was the one for me-they had prayed about it(he told me the same thing). So I took the plunge as I was told I was not getting any younger (I was 24). The manipulation and emotional abuse began on the honeymoon. He ended up being physically abusive and I convincing me I was nothing and needed him.
Lets see... Telling everyone I wouldn't kiss a guy until I was engaged... breaking a bunch of my "bad" cd's (including Will Smith's Big Willie Style), and listening to church music and Michael McLane music for about three months straight... feeling like the most horrible, evil person on earth for masturbation...judging everyone who wasn't LDS...never missing a meeting or activity...not drinking caffeine... holy cow, its like I'm talking about a completely different girl!
Becoming a Nazi mormon to make it be true, believing Kimball and telling my children that sexual sins were next to murder, believing Packer and faking testimony bearing because if you fake it enough it will become real.
Probably being self-righteous and not helping my own family enough. Paid tithing, but did not help my single mom sister and her boys enough. What a jerk I was.
I also hate the fact that my parents could not attend my wedding. They were very understanding, but Holy _ _ _ _ what an absolutely terrible thing to do to your parents.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2013 09:23PM by perky.
I'd forgotten about my home teaching assignment. One visit to a young couple was bizarre. I could tell from the start we weren't really welcome but the young husband was too much of a gentleman to say no when my senior HT called. Anyway. not long after we got there, the wife's father shows up and starts hauling stuff out of the apartment. She was leaving her husband and moving out! Talk about wanting to be anywhere else but there. My senior HT partner was so clueless he didn't understand what was happening until I told him as we were getting back in the truck....
I chose church above all else. I told my DW that I will choose God after her at any time. If the church needs me, I am going. Church first, family second. What a trip.
When I was 21, I moved to Orem and started dating this TBM guy. He was great and he made me laugh. One night we were sitting in my room and the topic of masturbation came up. (I was a convert and was never told not to masturbate.) I told him I did, and he got upset, started walking around and then gave me a blessing so I would stop masturbating. I had one eye open at him during the blessing. It was so embarassing. He left after that, and then I broke up with him over the phone. LOL
I'v posted this on here before. When I was 16 I was dating a nevermo. Some how the topic of masturbation came up. I busted out Bruce R. McKonkies (sp?) "Mormon Doctrine" to show him it was wrong. I was proud of myself and even relayed the conversation to my mom.
-I'd have not gotten married in the temple so my siblings and relatives and my husband's whole family could be at the wedding.
-As RS president I was supposed to visit all these new members- whether they (or I) liked it or not and I did. Was 'doing my job'
- This young single mother 'needed' a ride to church one morning. I went to pick her up. When I got to her place, she said she didn't have a car seat for her baby.
Instead of 'getting it', that she didn't want to go to church, I took my child out of his car seat, put her baby in it and took her to church 'as I was told to'. I I was in my late 20's and was more intimidated by the eq pres, than I was afraid of the police, or of my son being hurt by not being in HIS car seat I didn't want to have to explain to him that I didn't bring her with me.
Excluding ALL of my immediate family from my wedding. I can't even talk about it without crying. They were heart broken but I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. It was so wrong! I would be DEVASTATED if my child did that to me.
And being a self-righteous judgmental bitch. Gosh Mormonism brought out the absolute worst in me :(
I cringe at thinking Mormon women were far better mothers than the general population and that Mormon children's/youth programs are superior to other churches' programing.
I now realize LDS women are more likely to be overwhelmed and detached from the reality and that they abdicate critical parenting responsibilities while defering to TSCC.
I forgot to add one to the previous thread. In a letter I thanked my non-member grandparents for the money they sent when I went on my mission, but then told them what would mean even more to me would be if they accepted the truthfulness of the restored gospel over their chosen Christian religion. They died when I was still a believer. One of the many reasons why I will never, ever, EVER try to convince anyone of anything ever again!
My biggest regret is passing up many opportunities in my younger years to sleep around out of fear of going to hell. Now I'm older and I'm in hell wondering what it would have been like.
My wife is my first and only "experience". Although I won't cheat on her, I still wonder what it would have been like and what I missed out on before I got married...
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/03/2013 03:40PM by hangar18.
I put a ton of pressure on my high school sweetheart to serve a mission, because I would only marry an RM in the temple. I made him go through the "repentance process" with his bishop for fooling around with me. I also told him I'd wait for him.
I lasted about two months, before I decided college boys were really cute. He was devastated.
I cringe now, not only for making a promise I couldn't keep, but for him spending two years in a third world country for me. He was so fun and sociable, he should have been in college joining a fraternity.
Pushing close family members and long-time friends away because "the Church" told me they are not "worthy" if they aren't Mormon. Being an adult convert does give an edge though, I have 20 years of personal life experiences before Mormonism. I still probably make (what seems to them) odd expressions because I am not BIC usually when people display strange behaviours or expressions. Like this one older woman who gave me a birthday presnent and thought she was guilt-tripping me becasue she gave me a small grill that I got a small grill because I have a small family (as opposed to the expected large one!) Excuse me, this Redds Apple ale is REALLY good, Happy 4th America!
Telling people (converts) in the name of God that they should give money to the CRIMINAL enterprise known as the MORmON church, when I was a full time missionary.