Been out of the church 8 years and I can say that time, plus counseling, lots of reading, and working hard to change has made it possible to mostly crawl out from under the lds cult security blanket.

But sometimes, especially when I'm emotionally or physically vulnerable, I still long for some of the religious fairy tale to be as true as I thought it was. I want to feel taken care of and believe that all will end well and we will all go on and on forever looking beautiful, feeling beautiful surrounded by the best we can imagine.

The Security Blanket can feel so warm, soft, and comforting.

I understand TOTALLY presleynfactsrocks, it is not easy to not have that lovely protective feeling, especially in my case as I face old age. BUT I do find that my beleif in myself goes a long way towards closing the gap.

Allowing yourself to feel emotionally and physically vulnerable is a NORMAL and healthy feeling. Doing what you can to make plans to see that the worst of what you fear will not happen is also good. I REALLY hope everthing works out wonderfully for you!!

In the meantime, I am SO proud of you for your honesty!!

It's much easier to have a plan to go by that has all the answers and we don't have to figure it out for ourselves, but there's a lot of Costs for that.

It helps me to put it in perspective, here's a few off the top of my head:

Money 10% +
&
Time. So much time is spent.

Friendships outside the group.

Family.

And lots of lost opportunities.

Look on the bright side, the rest of your life is an adventure to be lived and explored!

Wanting the security of Mormonism is like wanting to be in prison. Yes everything is there that you need but you are restricted by those same things.

I'd rather be homeless trying to make it on my own than in prison, same is true with Mormonism



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2013 09:57PM by smithscars.

Yes but not just because I lost it but because I bought into it all those years. I sometimes want the security and sacrifice back even when I know all the pain it brings with it. Feeling vulnerable and knowing nobody is keeping score of the right things I've tried to do. Life isn't fair.
But then I think about the way the stars come out at night. I think about the young mother my sister and I helped this morning. I think about the talented surgeon who probably saved my life last week. We have lost a lot. but there is so much more out there. And because we choose not to let the church drain anymore of our love, faith,and relationships, our mourning will still come, but from natural causes. It will not be so many losses from lies, bigotry and hate.

I understand and agree completely. I've been out a long time and I sometimes have the passing emotion that I'm sad that the Mormon church isn't true.

I was just mentioning some things I think of when that comes up.

The security blanket of the Church was one of my favorite parts.

Did you not see--ever--how the church treats the elderly?

I always felt some fear about growing old in the church and very grateful that I would never have that humiliation to look forward to.

You go into your fifties and sixties with them working you and working you. Then you retire and they breathe a sigh of relief because they have a person they can turn to when everyone else is at work.

Hope to god you don't lose your job in your fifties because then you get "Employment Services," which is of the same quality as your religious emotional counselor, the bishop, who is trained as a plumber. Your employment service counselor is just some sap in your ward who masturbated so he is not allowed to teach classes.

He meets with you and opens a binder called "LDS Employment Services" and it is information about redoing your resume and it is clearly full of fresh ideas from the nineties. It tells you to buy a book on resume writing (a book!) and hire someone to help you describe your experience in current lingo.

Never mind that this is what he/she is supposed to be doing....

Then, after reading a few pages, they give you the url to the databases of jobs available. They are either jobs plucked from Monster or Indeed or they are employers who would never post their job anywhere else to make sure they get a blood brother.

Oh, and here's your coupon for Deseret Industries so you can buy some "professional" clothing.

So you ask if the church will help you pay your mortgage while you look for work because you have the seven children and you've paid your 10% for fifteen years and have no savings.

The bishop says he wishes he could but the First Presidency has issued a letter saying that the church is not helping anyone during the financial crisis and that families struggling to meet expenses should turn to family for help.

Because families are forever.

So...my point is that your old age will be just delightful as you turn to the children you ignored while you did church work an expect that they are going to take you in? Or pay for your nursing home?

No, you may end up like that Stake President who was very vocal about his disappointment in his life of dedication and service and now that he had spent every cent on tithing and a senior mission, and could he get a little help now that he's infirm? No.

The church helped move him out of Salt Lake and up to a low rent apartment in Heber so his anger would be contained in Heber valley. This was in the eighties and he said nobody ever visited him, none of his children and certainly not his ward. So who was caring for him in his old age?

The neighbors.

Don't be crying over losing your imaginary security blanket. It's an iron rod that fits nicely up your ass once they've taken everything you can give.

Anagrammy

Well said.

You are the Mormon churches security blanket. Once you cease to give them your time and money, they want nothing to do with you.

If you thought that they were your security blanket, you were sadly mistaken. That's one of the scams they put over on members.

They only take, seldom do they ever give. If they do give, it will be because of your last name and who you're related to. If you're not related to a big tithing giver, there's nothing there for you.

You have a better security blanket if you're catholic or Lutheran.

Anagrammy,

I am your fan! You are AMAZING!!!!!!!

To all posts----

I appreciate your support and thoughtful wise words and humor.

I do know that your observations about how the church is NOT in any way a warm-capable-of-caring-security-blanket are true and, thanks to one of your posts, I will start chuckling if I ever start sucking my thumb and yearning for one.