why is it that mormons seem to think they can drop by unannounced?

Missionaries drop by whenever they want to despite having been told they aren't wanted. (although not so much since I answered the door wearing a sheet and showing a little shoulder one afternoon - saw them coming from my upstairs window, ha ha ha)

Mormon ex partner drops around with no warning despite having been asked to make contact via text/call first. (this happened last night, hence my rant)

and when I was still with the ex, mormon lovebombers would drop by on sunday mornings DESPITE it having become blatantly obvious that sunday morning was a time for family breakfast, me, him and kids... even more awkward when Brigham-the-lovebomber dropped around and refused food, a drink, even water because it was a F&T day! super offensive to me to refuse what I offer you in my own home....

GRRRRRRRR!

how do I get through to them - Go Away. If you must come to see me ORGANISE it FIRST!

I'm busy, if you want me to have time for your crap, for the love of Zombie Jeebus, SCHEDULE IT WITH ME FIRST!

and as for the mormon ex dropping around - is he doing it to keep tabs on me? is he incapable of using a phone? is he hoping to catch me and convert me to his bizarre world view? does he know that if he contacted me first I'd tell him to get lost? or is it that he is so Rude, arrogant and inconsiderate that he really thinks of no one other than him, and what suits him best (yup folks, i'm going with the last option).

Rhio.

Deus Ex Machina, as a nevermo this is something I never understood either, wondering if it were pure arrogance or they were just completely daft and clueless in a social world outside TSCC cocoon. one cannot be more direct than by saying you're not welcome and to keep coming back after that, well they are trespassing, and aren't TBMs meant to be good law abiding citizens? hah.

one of the many issues I had with this 'religion' and when i asked my jackmormon ex about it, he could not answer me directly with a reason but rather stated that some people thought this was the *best* thing that could ever happen to them!

I never did get an answer to the actual question as to why they do it. likely because the explanation is that they've got to meet their sales targets to fling themselves up the corporate ladder and eventually exhaltation! so what is your busy schedule in light of these lofty goals, really...

I agree with all of the above.

Deux Ex Machina, you are normal to think this is rude. It is! You are normal, to have this happen to you, because it has happened to all of us!

This is the way Mormons operate. They are taught it is virtuous to sell the cult to others, at every opportunity. If there is no opportunity, they make one--by invading you. Unannounced. With me, they usually came after 9:00 at night. Usually men, in groups of two or three. They knew I had no man at home. I would turn the porch light off, and still, they would keep knocking.

If you are one of their targets, someone is assigned to you. That's right, assigned to become your "friend" and bring you back into their cult. These assigned friends have to report to a committee, and they are rebuked if they don't make any progress with you. They are ordered to try again, and again, and again. They mistakenly think they can wear you down. This behavior wore us down, but in the opposite way. When we first went inactive, our doorbell rang constantly. My children and I had some extremely unpleasant experiences with the Mormons. I would recommend calling the police, if you feel you need to. The only way they would stop, was for me and my children to officially resign from the Mormon church. We told everyone that we did not believe in Joseph Smith, and that we were returning to the Lutheran Church to follow Christ. That shut them up.

Mormons are afraid of ex-Mormons, and they avoid us. It is full-on "shunning." The Mormons are scared that we will tell them exactly why their religion is a hoax, and they are afraid of losing their testimony. The shunning hurt my feelings at first, because I honestly thought these people were my friends. Turns out, they wanted to to play the organ, teach SS, clean their toilets, pay 10% of my money, and hijack my kids. When the Mormons drop by, they are coming to steal something from you, or to tell you lies.

A "NO SOLICITING" sign, in one-inch letters, has helped, too. My TBM son-in-law told me to take it down. Soliciting reminds him of the MOrmons--ha-ha.

For a CO. ah...relidgion that gives its workers...ah...members so MANY Boundries,They sure are crass!!! My Landlord is TBM. they make unannouced visits.(the last time i was in my undies. trying to cool off) The Mrs.LL said their was a report of water leaking & wanted to see my bathrm. So I let her. I figured she must be embarrassed by the event. I told her if she sends her husband to work on to call me. THEY DIDNT!! Its so stupid. Im sure if it was the other way around itd be differant.Sorry about the rant.

They're saying, "We have the upper hand. You must comply or we'll think you're rude. We're doing the Lord's work and whatever you're doing will have to wait."

It takes work and ruffling a few feathers to train mormons how to be civil and polite. You have two choices. You can put up with their bad behavior or you can make them think you're offended and uncooperative by being curt, direct, and consistent.

"I didn't expect you and we're about to sit down for breakfast, so you'll have to come back at a more convenient time. Sorry. Please call next time. Goodbye." Close the door.

Say these words nicely looking directly at them. Don't yell. But don't waffle or wince, just speak with authority. You're the boss in your own home.

Joy Wrote:
>
> This is the way Mormons operate. They are taught
> it is virtuous to sell the cult to others, at
> every opportunity. If there is no opportunity,
> they make one--by invading you. Unannounced.
> With me, they usually came after 9:00 at night.
> Usually men, in groups of two or three. They knew
> I had no man at home. I would turn the porch
> light off, and still, they would keep knocking.
>
> If you are one of their targets, someone is
> assigned to you. That's right, assigned to become
> your "friend" and bring you back into their cult.
> These assigned friends have to report to a
> committee, and they are rebuked if they don't make
> any progress with you. They are ordered to try
> again, and again, and again. They mistakenly
> think they can wear you down. This behavior wore
> us down, but in the opposite way.

having worked briefly in sales, that second paragraph sounds just like the training we had - there's a yes at the end of all the no's. something I disagreed with, as at the end of the no's for me is just annoyance and making me less likely to buy your dodgy product. however that was a for-profit corporation. oh wait, so is LDS.

they really do know no limits and you would think with all their other super restrictive rules that certain times of the day would be off limits, ie calling on you after 9 at night. the ones who were assigned to my jackmormon ex would ring up at 10pm on a saturday night as well for no good reason (knowing full well he had a girlfriend). is it because they have no lives and think we don't as well?

Dropping by unannounced is part of the social traditions within the LDS Church. Within the older generations, generally this kind of visiting is accepted and welcomed. Younger folks today are not so accepting, however.

It was just how things were done before easy phone and email access.

The Ward is considered a Ward Family.

In some areas, where there are no phones, or computer access, it's common for the members to drop in on each other.

I put a stop to members dropping in by making it clear to the bishop and others that they needed to call first and make an appointment to come by.

I have a funny story about that. The Stake Pres (the one mentioned by "rutabega" - in a post earlier, was visiting the local bishop on a Sunday and decided he wanted to visit with us (my husband Leon was still a member, I had left about 15 years before but they all knew me.)

When the Stake Pres. told the bishop he wanted to stop by our house, he told him he needed to phone first! So he did, when he was a couple blocks away! I also posted about that visit and how he got the bishop to commandeer my computer to set up the access for my husband to the LDS pages to access the local Stake directory. His behavior and attitude was so unacceptable (I won't go into the details here) that I would never invite him back. Won't be a problem now as my husband is deceased and he has no need to visit me!

Even with the easy cell phone and email access we have today it's difficult to get the members to budge on their long time social custom of dropping in.

Between my door sign (used for a specific incident) and demanding they call first, I am making progress!

I doubt I will be contacted anymore.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/31/2013 04:01PM by SusieQ#1.

I don't even visit my parents without calling first. Of course, I believe in boundaries and respect privacy. TSCC doesn't.

I once had a HT and 2 elders drop by my house unannounced. I was wearing loungewear/pajamas. I refused to let them in and told them they needed to call first.

Another sister in our ward had the exact same HT come by unannounced. She was wearing her house coat. She too complained, and eventually he stopped.

Get a peep hole in your front door and don't open it to people you don't want to see.

or don't mind having Mormons on the property.

They're not as good for anyone who sits out front or spends time gardening and chatting with neighbors in the street. Also, it wouldn't work for someone who doesn't want to be bothered with mormon cars in the driveway or out front and doesn't want to have interruptive knocking and doorbell ringing from uninvited mormons.

But for everyone else these are good tactics.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/01/2013 11:27AM by Cheryl.

Why do you let them in at all? As Cheryl said, it's entirely possible to be polite, but firm, in telling them not to drop by unannounced, or that you'd prefer that they stop dropping by entirely.

If they ignore your request, then I'm afraid it may become necessary to be almost rude to them. If they accuse you of being rude, just tell them that they're the ones being rude by not respecting your wishes and so they've therefore forced you to be more firm.

Tell them that you expect your wishes to be respected. If not, they can expect some slammed doors in their faces.

"Hi, we were just passing and thought we'd..."
"Sorry, can't spare the time now. I'll call you to rearrange."
"Well...err...what number shall we get you on?"
"No. I said I'd call you to rearrange."
"Oh...well...do you have our number?"
"Yes"
*awkward silence*
"Bye then"
"Well before we...."
*door closes*