So I left the Mormon Church recently for many reasons. Part of it was its stances toward sexuality, others were about the history, and in general its closed ways of thinking. I had to fake my faith my last semester at BYU to keep my academic eligibility, and am transferring to a state school now.

At BYU that semester, I felt like I was in prison or in a fascist state. My matrix and delusion had been broken. I felt censored and could only tell people I absolutely trusted about my desire to leave the church. The illusion I had lived for years became so apparently false. The mission, the two and a half years I spent at BYU, were all influenced by this delusion.

But without being in a 100% Mormon environment, I would have never learned. My best friend from the mission came out gay, and I realized my doubts about the church's policies about sexuality suddenly turned into a hard and fast choice to support my friend.

It gave me the opportunity to realize I wanted to teach in my home state and return to a state school. I realized my best friends were those not based on "worthiness" but on the experiences we had shared together.

I'm just starting my journey, and I look forward to the growth that lies ahead.