Maybe i do need a trip or something. I keep getting triggered in this town. Alright maybe ill get on here after surgery or something.
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I am very afraid of neck surgery but i have to do it.
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I always thought the whole holy ghost thing was funny.
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Thanks i like when you post. I told my mom that she should've had an abortion the other day when we were arguing about her helping me with my bills and she gave me an attitude about it and i just said well you should've had an abortion if i am really that big of a burden to you and the family. I am so tired of this money guilt thing, the church should pay me a shitload for all the indoctrinatio
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They are so arrogant that they don't see anything as an issue.
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Yea i don't know exactly what i am going to do but i dont want to be mad everytime i am on here. Its just not healthy for me and i need to start focusing on other things in life. Widen my gaze. Get my neck surgery done and that should help.
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I really am leaving really really i have to atleast for a while till maybe after my neck surgery. I have to be very disciplined here.
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I loved your posts breeze i too need to step away i also have PTSD.
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I dont know maybe everyone is right maybe i am misguided. But all i know i was miserable doing what everyone else was doing.
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I have no idea what i am doing desertman i really don't. This is definitely a road i have never been on, all i know is i have to keep getting better or i probably wont survive in this world. When i get triggered it is just bad news and i am not sure what to do about it. All i do is listen to sir david the bard videos every night and vent on this site and try to get of pain while mormons try to
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And the people i play cards with are my boys. No judgement no bullshit they accept me totally and i feel more like a real human being. Not in la la land mormonland.
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I wear a splint every night and i am still paying it off. 6 grand for a stupid little splint that no insurance covered. I lost 80 grand in the last 3 years for my health.
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I understand cutekitty probably more than most, i lost everything more than once in my life and had to keep starting over and it sucked so i have just been focusing on my health strictly so i dont fall into the same cycle. The first 6 months after leaving the church was rough as hell. Sir david the bard on youtube saved my life. I was like a lone man in a desert. I still listen to his videos
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There is no mercy for the wounded. I felt really bad for cutekitty. There should be a site dedicated to the newly out of the church or something specifically. I think you kind of lose your heart after decades of being on here or something. Its like finding out the church is a fraud you need to hit a point where you are strong enough to leave the site.
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It was good advice he was on here when i began and i dont want to be one of those people that are on here for decades like jonny probably. I am too young for this i have to live a real life eventually. Being on rfm for more than 5 or 10 years is not my idea of heaven or living. Its a good small transitional tool.
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Yes honest TBM would have been the death of me i kind of feel sorry for you guys haha. I think he was the reason i left last time. I couldn't stand reading his paragraphs of nonsense. I am pretty much tired of all internet nonsense, if you want to chill meet me in the mall and lets play cards.
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I think i am becoming more authentic i do feel normal as i a play cards with people for the last week.
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I am scared amyjo i am scared. Feel like i have been hiding my whole life just going through the motions. Not sure if i have ever been genuinely happy in life except as a kid maybe. Facing true reality is going to be difficult. All i have been trying to do was try to get out of pain and then go from there but that may not be enough to be in reality 24/7 and live a real life. I have been supp
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And then i am leaving and try to live a real life. Why do i have to be obligated to be happy? Ok go.
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I have found some new friends. The trade off should be pretty smoothe, i need to physically be around people i think but not fake mormons.
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Jonny you are the reason i came back last time now i remember. This is like deja vu. But there was a real TBM posting and i had to see it play out just for a little bit and then i will be out of here.
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I just keep getting triggered and i don't think its healthy maybe. I keep going into rage mode and i am afraid of hurting a mormon that crosses my path physically in the real world or something or burning a church down. Or even just saying screw it and put a a bullet in my head.
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No going back to nothing i guess.
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There are no professionals here so you are double right. No surgeons, no counselors, no psychiatrists. We just all got screwed by a cult some more than others obviously but still screwed. I think i may have gotten screwed the most unfortanately besides a couple others.
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I really have to leave ziller for my health i will miss you buddy and your videos.
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You are right, this site didn't work for me when i signed up so why would i think it would help me now. I just get triggered over and over by people that talk like my parents and that is the last thing i need right now. I have to distance myself from all things mormon even on an exmo site, it does not help. Some knowledge was useful though for sure to strengthen my convictions. It was only a
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I kind of want to stay for people like you cutekitty. You are fucking legit. I think everybody else was just in the church for like a month it seems like and can just keep on going like a normal human being.
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I did say the teenagers thing. And i did say the book was plagarized.
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It is for the best. I seriously feel like i am fighting my parents on here and that is not good. There is like two of you that have been through serious hell and get it. As for everybody else you are just like my mormon parents and that is not what i need right now. Yes i got offended, dont come crying to me when you are disabled i hope you lose your job, your home, your family, and i hope yo
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And i talk way worse to my counselors then i do on here.
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