I sat through the whole conference with DH, but I kept falling asleep.
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You can be a temple-recommend man with a beard; just not hold certain positions with a beard. Hey, they tell you what kind of underwear you can wear, and when you have to wear it---what you can eat and drink---including, for real WOW-followers, not much meat in good times!!!! because, you know, Joseph Smith was hearing directly from God Himself. Why would facial hair or lack thereof be an
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A comment on the idea that this is because of lay-clergy. I doubt it. This happens is churches with professional clergy too--and in families, among scout leaders, school teachers, family friends. Having some training about how one should handle it when it comes to light would be nice for church leaders at the local level. Even what is and isn't legal to reveal if told in confidence to
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aaah, the family friendly church. yeah
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RMM Yup, yup, yup, and yup. So am I being false and manipulative when I dish out praise, do not express my real opinion and feelings in order to avoid criticism of them, etc. causing cognitive dissonance in myself that is poisoning me? argh. Lot invested here. And labels are not people. argh argh argh.
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PS Adult of God nli He has never been physically rough. What is happening is more aligned to something someone has called "intimacy anorexia." Afraid of being alone, needy of validation-marries---yet does things to prevent real intimacy. I intend to thrive, and let the chips fall. I have to say, this makes it more complicated and difficult than I had ever expected. But I
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I've wondered about narcissism. I've wondered if I am that way too. I know it matters to me to be right. But I think not so I can keep someone else "wrong" and feel better---at least, not always. As everyone on this board has surely been through the wringer on this one---believing things that are not true does matter. Each of you--and me too---have been willing to risk and pay to l
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free man It sounds like you would like conversations with your wife. I can tell you that I used to want and expect that with my husband; I am now working on my part in what has happened over years to make pleasant, fun conversations very rare----which is me learning to be really, really clear that how he acts is probably not about me at all, and that I don't have to pass judgment, or have a
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Thank you all. I think I need to hone up my own sense of compassion and humor both. It's not like I don't have my own list of qualifications for civility. sigh. Human ego. Yeah. One day I had the insight that if we did not feel a responsibility to either judge people or fear them---what freedom that would be, to enjoy people and enjoy being alive. Through what each of you has said
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I have a question that possibly is not helpful to have an answer to, but I am asking anyway. Very often in converstions, my husband argues with whatever feeling I express or statement I make. He reminds me of the (not biologically related!) granddaughter whose pediatrician said that among other things, including ADHD, she manifests ODD--oppositional defiant disorder. I have heard the p
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My step-grandson was planning a late spring wedding; this week we learned that they were going to have it yesterday, before the temples closed. My husband said they would have been able to pull that off, since there are now lots of temples.
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I found Candide sordid and unfun to read---and Pangloss what is usually meant when people call someone a "Pollyanna." Pangloss is better as the glib, surface- don't get too deep, don't feel anything, and yes, there's really no such thing as tragedy, because, hey, all's right in this best of all possible worlds. UGH. I like better the sight of Jesus, standing in front of Lazarus' to
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oooh, this one hit the passion-button inside me. I believe one of the most imporant lessons anyone needs to learn is that "no means no." That means people need to accept "no" when they hear it; people need to say "no," not in a flirtatious, goofing-off way, but as this girl apparently did, politely (no need to be unkind)---but also straightforward. It is ter
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Caffiend wrote "no one should EVER have their feelings hurt; being turned down can lead to inferiority compleses, psychosis, etc. Good grief. A) I agree with the mother: to not let a person of either sex say "no thank you," to any kind of request is absolutely buying into rape culture---among other boundary-setting difficulties. B) Being turned down (politely yet!!) is par
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Kathleen---yup, exactly. Not to mention, last 2 times I went to the store the shelves were kind of stripped---and whether I'm getting tp because oh my goodness toilet paper might be--what? contaminated?---or because, hey, we do use it, thankfully---and if the stores don't have it on the shelves, I'm sure glad I have an extra few rolls in the garage-----Yep, I still use it. If shipping or a city
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Thank you.
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RM, apparently everything hunky-dory committed suicide. Offering comfort to anyone losing a child would be difficult enough--but given the theological implications for a Mormon---does anyone have suggestions of what to say that might be anything more comforting than the usual sympathy-card platitudes? Thanks.
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Based on our experience with the recent change from Home-teaching assignments, where you have to report in to your priesthood leader every month, to being a ministering servant, with no individual checkin------lots of people would quit paying, with relief. We saw our new "ministering servant" one time--stood on the porch and handed over a hershey bar to go with the watching of genera
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Yes it is insane. Take a mental shower and get on with your life!
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Is it an either/or? There is a saying ascribed to Francis of Assissi: Preach the Gospel everywhere; if necessary, use words. In other words, live it, be it, and also one can talk about it. If you are not living it, then talking may create cynacism instead of interest. Loving unconditionally is a commandment, for sure, and everything else should start from that platform. We have no
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THank you, Elder Berry. Very helpful discussion-both parts.
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I'm a nevermo also---and so have been confused and surprised by many, many of the things that have occurred. I think maybe there is both what you suggest--that the traits of the church attract people who are narcissistic--but I also wonder if it doesn't literally train them into people. THings like appearances being so important, cognitive dissonance as a norm--arranging so there seems to be fr
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admittedly happened 63 years ago, but as I understand it, my husband age 8, with a non-member father and DNA non-practicing mormon mother were visiting relatives in SLC when one of the aunties asked if he were 8--yes he was---so they said, "You need to be baptized," and he was, along with several other children that day.
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my husband was a bishop once. During his tenure, a young man confessed to him that he had been molesting his sisters. My husband of course told his stake president what was going on; he also hired a lawyer on his own dime (which the church did later reimiburse, I think. I was not his wife then) Long story short, he talked the boy into turning himself in. My husband's big concern was how
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another example of how the recruitment poster of how the church takes care of its own really works. Unbelievable---only it really isn't. Recently here a man in the church, divorced, with one of his 5 children, a girl---junior in high school still at home---had a stroke. She called and asked the Bishop for help. (At the same time as the stroke, the house they were renting had the sewer back
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Has anyone ever thought or heard an idea that the mormon church itself is a narcissist? Some of the traits I see, not in everyone, but in general, include "relationships" that are on-purpose mostly very demanding, but at the same time, superficial. Controlling? horrifyingly so. thought control? duh. Thanks for the opportunity to vent. I'd be curious to hear what others think
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To me it sounds like your family love you and want you (as in, they invited you to the meal)---and are trying to be who they are (they want to watch this thing about the new replacement for boy scouts)---and also willing for you to be who you are. I think she literally was just giving you a heads up so you wouldn't feel like you'd been jumped or trapped, but would be able to decide whether you'd
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Yes there were. The priesthood meeting on Saturday evening had two talks directed for the young men. I thought they were both quite nice and inspiring, things that would enrich and bless anybody: stuff about caring about each other, being there for each other, etc. What one would like in any friendship and community. Sadly, those two talks were followed by each of the first presidency, and
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LOL
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Y'll talk as if you are surprised that the mormon leaders exposed the real shape of mormonism. The only surprising thing is that they were so blatant about it, not that the mormonism the GC reflected is the mormonism you all decided couldn't be true and left.
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