including those who read the Book of Mormon DURING intercourse. Is this to fall asleep?
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I live a mile away from my town's sewage treatment plant. It's a great thrill to hear the roar of the twin sump pumps fire up to begin the evening's need to bring crap into the retention pool. I am glad that there's no temple nearby to steal the glory of suburban living.
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Wasn't Lidar the son of Packer or Dunn? Or was that Liar?
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We also couldn't wear bow ties because Sacrament meeting wasn't a boxing match (referee tie). Now the church struggles to get any young people to stay in the pews. They let young men wear levi's jeans and not wear a necktie of any sort. They are letting it all hang out.
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This was supposed to involve all the sisters gathering at ward chapels or stake buildings. This involved a pre recorded message from Nelson (35 minutes) and then wait for this! A special testimony meeting from everyone in attendance. Boy if anything can straighten out wrinkles in one's dresses then a good old fashioned cry-a-thon will certainly solve the problems of the day. This was to commem
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elderolddog Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Skinny neckties ARE evil; they are evil's > embodiment!!!! Some of these guys played the squeezebox. That's a capital offense in certain countries.
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Outside of the Mormon Corridor (Morridor), the church is in trouble and they are more likely to overlook piercings and tatts. I have observed several women wearing "normal" sun dresses to church. And both had tatts showings. And that ward is hurting for people to sit in the pews. I don't think leaders are going to run off members like they used to. In some places, the church has lost
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I have the preppers in mind.
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I had to generate all the membership lists for the ward. One bishop who I served under had his panties in a bind because the stake president was BIG on numbers. They had a ludicrous goal that each ward was EXPECTED to have 94% of its total male population TR ready. It was completely unrealistic. Even the most sincere, charismatic person as a bishop could not ever get close to those numbers. T
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Mordor, not logged in Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > For the entire two years, I never once used the > "Elder" title for any missionary. When I wanted to > refer to someone else, I simply went with his last > name. "Figures that Christensen would make ZL, > he's a brown-noser." It was my own individual act > of rebe
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Families were supposed to have this hate document posted. In my area, the church organized this giant regional conference for the men (priesthood only). This was in CA and it was all about keeping gay marriage out of society. I didn't attend because I had to work that Saturday. Somehow my goofy dad attended with the help of a carpool- he wasn't the best driver in heavy traffic. Knowing how ch
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Members are assigned to read the last talk by Oaks or Nelson. That's the assignment. I choose to punish myself by watching various sacrament meeting which are streamed weekly on y/t. I watch nervous members struggling to read these flowery worded GC talks. The speakers routinely stumble trying to read these nonsensical talks. I actually focus on the members sitting in the pews to see if there
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I don't think the two bishop who I served under as membership clerk in the 1990s collected fast offerings. One bishop took naps at home on Sundays and the other one would go visit members who might be confined to hospitals. I only went once as a deacon. As I have previously mentioned, asshat Bishop Steel really loathed me. It was mutual. We didn't talk much on the drive and we visited 5 inacti
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He tried to keep it a secret from everyone. He was the senior when I was assigned to him. He held the only key to the apartment and to the mailbox. I never got the keys, not one time. He separated the mail and kept his mail out of sight. I finally learned his name by coincidence. The dude contracted with Columbia House to score free music (CD's for pennies was the rage). Like a good douchebag
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Son of Paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The reality is students will read or skim over it > and sign said documents that they have read it and > it will not change a da__ thing and probably make > things worst (sounds familiar, to be somewhat or > quietly shelved later on). Welcome to the machine. > It was probably pushed by influe
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I sat through way too many meetings. The so called planning of church activities was futile. It took me decades to wake up, but it became painfully obvious that the church really didn't want thinking people to lead. I shared this about Scouting. They wanted the actual young boys "to take the lead". This was done at the scoutmaster's home on a different evening than was normally set a
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My mom thought she could travel 12 miles in 10 minutes on winding back roads. She received several speeding tickets over the years. She used to proudly tell the CHP (California Highway Patrol) that we were on our way to church. And the officer would reply- No Ma'am. You're either on your way to jail or you're going to the morgue if you don't slow down. One time, the ward had had enough with ou
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Even when I was an active member, I never wanted to be at church. It's embarrassing to admit that I used to think that way. I had to be at church or receive a thrashing from my mom. Yet, I always thought of names called from a list who were not present to be so lucky because they were somewhere else. Perhaps it's because everything that was taught or said in church involved a threat or coercio
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Pay Laid Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Why would anyone think pelting your home with eggs > would bring you back? I was active in the church, but my dad was not. This was supposed to be an act of love. It was just a big joke for the 13 year olds who came to my home unannounced to bring so called gifts of appreciation (My family was suffering great ec
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NG I think the reluctance to seek medical attention stems from the belief that one is never closer to god than when serving a church mission. Many of them truly believe that they are giving into the natural man, which is an enemy to god. It's a lack of faith. I served with another missionary (a genuine prick) who jumped over a fence and was bitten in the ass from the dog. A sign was posted
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I was going to add that many septic tanks are commonly mistaken for LDS temples. No matter how many times you go inside a temple, it's always the same crap floating around.
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The change to agency from free agency has been well documented. Here's some other word choices that were frequently discussed during my ward sacrament meetings. This one was aimed at the bishopric- LDS have Sacrament Services not Sacrament Programs. We always had some jackass high councilor jumping out of his seat (when sitting on the stand) to interrupt the poor sap. I rarely felt sorry f
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I was a membership clerk for the ward in the 1990s. I think that's when church leaders were directed to say it that way. I used to have to record all those who were involved. I had to type (on a typewriter) up ordinance certificates which included names and priesthood offices. I always made typos (and the bishop was a real ass about it) so I might spend all morning typing certificates only to
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12. Will the Kirtland Temple be converted into a functioning Latter-day Saint temple? Not with Nelson at the helm, but I think a subsequent church president will eventually announce the full renovation/rebuilding and will rededicate it as a regular temple. Nelson is not a church history person by any means. Maybe this will make Bednar a great church president some day.
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n/t
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I stayed overnight in Dum ass Texas last year. I shopped at the local Walmart in the morning and thanked the store greeter for a nice visit in Dumas (extreme mispronunciation). I got her laughing pretty good.
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I really wouldn't want to attend either one. The missionary call reveal is typically less planned. Someone opens up their letter and it's usually over. From what I've watched on Y/T, some gender reveals have endless games and activities that are beyond stupid. So far I have yet to watch a missionary calling that involves blindfolded people pinning the tail on the asses (first presidency pho
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Mine must not have been important because it didn't leave any impressions unlike church leaders. I don't recall anything significant. Maybe it suggested that I remember to always park between the lines in the church parking lot.
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In the shadows of billion-dollar coffers, Russell M Nelson stands tall, A prophet revered, a leader of the flock, But whispers of embezzlement linger. Money flows like a river in the desert, Filling pockets and coffers of the chosen few, While the faithful give their all, In the name of a higher power. Mormons gather, their faith unwavering, As questions dance in the corners of their
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I have long advocated that missionaries should be screened while in the mission field twice. One about 6 months in and another 1 year later. I had a companion who went home to die less than a month upon arriving home~ pancreatic cancer. There was a bishop who knew of the elder and his only comment was that it was a shame that the elder would forever remain a servant because he died single. I p
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