I keep in high regards the years that I was in the church

I recently left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Oct 1995) with the rest of my family (wife and four children). The transition from Mormonism to being a Christian has been very difficult.

Throughout all of my 15 years as a member (I was baptised at age 19), I had always considered myself a Christian. I believed that Christ was my savior and that through him I would someday return to my Father in Heaven.

I'm not quit sure why I left the church. I had always been active. I was an ordained Seventy (prior to a revelation which disbanded the stake seventy quorums by Ezra T. Benson) and I served in such callings as Ward Clerk, Executive Secretary, Stake Mission Presidency etc... Maybe I was feeling lonely since I had not had a similar calling in several years. Maybe it was because I started to realize that not everything that the Bishop, or other church leaders, did was through the spirit of God. Maybe the reason I left the church was because I was becoming lazy and I didn't want to do all of the things which were becoming required for me to do. For what ever reason I left this past October and it has been very difficult.

It has been difficult to get past the idea that if I'm wrong, my eternal salvation is at risk. It has been difficult as I have watched my friends walk away. They all still greet me when they see me and we still talk if we happen to be in the same area, but for the most part it has been a very lonely ride. I must say that I do have a couple of LDS friends who even though they do not support my decision to leave the church, they have still showed love to me and my family. None of my friends know that I sent a letter to the Bishop requesting the records of my family be removed from the church.

My family has been going to a Christian church since we left. I assist in the youth group, sing in the choir, and even attend Bible Study Fellowship (BSF Inc.). Each member of the family is trying to learn more about the true nature of God and Jesus Christ and get prepared to be baptised.

I know that this rode has been traveled my others and I also know that it's a tough road to travel. I keep in high regards the years that I was in the church. I hold no anger toward anyone. The church helped me and my wife through the early years of our marriage (we were married at 18 after knowing each other 3 weeks) and through the yearly years of our children. Yes I realize that much of what I learned was false. It's just difficult to come to grasp with that fact. I think that if it were easy the church would have very few members within it.

I have a lot to learn but I know that God will help me. I feel comfort knowing that God does love me and that he is willing to let his spirit enter into my heart and help me through these times. I look forward to my new road.

I don't write this letter to help others as much as I wanted to help myself. I'm not interested in becoming a guide to others to leave the Mormon church, for each person needs to make that decision based on there relationship with God. Thank you providing me with a forum to discuss my thoughts.

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