Stage 8 Bound - Love/Hate - "Voluntary" Union
Bound - Love/Hate - "Voluntary" Union
Prologue to Stage 8
Stage 8 is the culmination of all the previous stages and the possible successful resolution of the Binder's Double-Bind in Stage 4. It is at this stage that the "Black Hole" of depression sets in. The member either "accepts" the Binder's punishments as being "deserved," i.e., that he, or she believes that they "asked for it" through their "disobedience," and completely merges with the Binder's mind, losing what self-identity they had left, or through a spark of life for survival not completely extinguished, escapes from the Binder. In this case, the person has escaped physically from the environment but still has the conditioned mind implanted by the Binder; the mental Pattern of unearned guilt is taken with the Bound. However, to leave the direct influence of The Pattern is the first and biggest step to freedom.
Those who stay become completely brain-washed and become One with the Binder ... inseparately Bound. Since the entrance into the Binder's Celestial Kingdom is through the death of the human body, the Bound yearns to die ... to be released from this earthly "veil of tears." This is a reflection of the Binder's underlying Pattern of death.
The Binder makes life on earth a literal Hell, then promises a "life" of Heavenly Joy in the Hereafter; death is the "cure" of all ills and the escape from the "Bottomless Pit," or "Black Hole." The carrot on the stick, the original promise of Stage 2, is held out even to the end ... "Ye are bound when ye do what I say, but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." However, as the Double-Bind is constituted, the Bound one can never completely please the Binder and is always a failure through not having done what the Binder commands "perfectly." You "must endure to the end" (be "tested") without the knowledge that you will be judged worthy enough to receive what you have worked for all of your life. This will only be known at the final judgment bar. "Yes," man is that he might have joy, "But," not in this life. By this time, the investment in Mormonism has been so total that it would be a form of "death" to walk away "penniless" from it. Those that stay are the "walking dead" clinging blindly to the rod that holds the unattainable promise forever just beyond reach.
To recapitulate The Pattern's Double-Bind evolution to this point:
Stage 4 The Good: The Evil: The Double-Bind established what was the "Good," and what was the "Evil."
- What is "Good" is what is for the Binder.
- What is "Evil" is what is for the individual Self and therefore, against the Binder.
- The purpose of the Double-Bind is to instill unearned, inescapable "Guilt."
Stage 5 Good: Praise is given when the "Good" is supported, when all "choices" are for, and in obedience to, the Binder. (Zig)
Stage 6 Evil: Accusations are hurled at the "disobedient" for supporting the individual Self, and is labeled "Evil." (Zag)
Stage 7 Good/Evil: "Good" and "Evil" are reduced (fused) into One. You are punished for your own "Good," so "Don't see this as "Evil." Punishment equates to "Love." The Binder chastises those He "Loves." (Zig/Zag) This is the preparatory stage for Stage 8 via force and coercion.
Stage 8 Love/Hate: The extension of "Good" and "Evil" reduced to One (Stage 7) ... as the product of "Love" ... is the essence of the "Love/Hate" relationship in Stage 8. The difference being that "Love" in Stage 7 was compulsory through milk labels and coercion. In Stage 8 it becomes the "Voluntary," brainwashed Union of the Bound to the Binder. This Union is experienced as a "dark cloud" above the mind of reason, and is the aim of the "simplification," the "reductionism" of stage 7. All is reduced to the Binder's dual mind-set which is now fused as One, a "Love/Hate," "Good/Evil" personality. The Bound is to "Love" what it "Hates" (the Binder), and "Hate" what it Loves (the Self). This hatred of Self (in Stage 8) that can still be felt (because the Self is not totally dead), and the consequent "Guilt" that this lack of integrity causes, deepens further the depression that has previously been instilled.
This is the stage of the "Voluntary" loss of Identity. Desires for complete annihilation arise ... total obliteration of the Self is the goal. However, the last Double-Bind usually stops these suicidal thoughts. You would be damned if you took your own life. And, you would be damned, if you didn't, because the Binder forbids the taking of your own life. Your life doesn't belong to you any longer. Being totally Bound and dependent on the Binder for your means of survival, the Bound believes he/she would be damned (would die) if they did leave Him, and on the other hand, they feel they would be damned (would also die) if they didn't leave Him because they would be subjected to the continuation of a life of pathological mental and emotional pain. However, the Binder doesn't want the Bound dead .... yet; that is why it is "forbidden." The Bound must be "tried" as to whether they can "endure to the end." The Pattern of the Double-Bind is the road to this "perfection" ... the perfect "death" designed by the Binder. The Binder holds the "keys" of Life and Death, the ultimate Dictator of both.
The irony here, is that the more the member hates him/herself, the less he/she is able to love. The possibility of love has turned to fear of what one is commanded to love. The means for the ability to love is taken away, and at the same time, the Binder commands that He be loved with ALL of ones personal heart, mind, and soul which has been systematically deadened ... "reduced," and "simplified" ... into the "generalization" of the One Mind. You become the projection of his fused, "Love/Hate" mind. The Binder kills what he professes to love, but still demands to be loved by those whom he has incapacitated. Madness!!
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Simplification and Reduction - Generalization - Intimidation
Reflecting the Mind of the Binder, or, "Facing One Way" - Brain-Washed
Loss of Identity
The Black Hole of Depression - Unawareness of the Cause - Love/Hate
May 18, 1993.
Elder Boyd K. Packer's Talk to the All-Church Coordinating Council:
"Correlation is the one department where they are hired to be generalists. They represent the Brethren in pointing out to you areas where you, in one detail or another, might, in the interest of the overall program, need to make an adjustment or two.
("Yes, you obeyed, "But," there are one or two other 'adjustments' you must make.)
"The principle of correlation is a sound principle. (Of reducing everything to the lowest common denominator; the Law of Diminishing Returns being the sound "principle.") Except for its having been established, we could not now possibly administer an ever-growing multi-national and multi-lingual church. The vast Numbers require it. The full purpose for its having been established ("Yes..is"), I know, is yet ("But, is not now,") to be realized. .... (and "Yet,") ... The greatest use of it is yet to come. (Stage 5, obfuscation.)
"The responsibility to effect a reduction and simplification in programs was assigned by the First Presidency to Correlation Department. ....The Music Department, catching the vision, reduced five manuals of l90 pages into one manual of 18 pages.
(... which reduces the necessity to read, to learn, to think, to know ... and takes away the means of knowing how in the present, and deprives future generations of the full knowledge of what existed before the reductions, which also eliminates the why, by ellipsis. The command now, is to just "do" it. Books are not necessary. Taking away the reasoning mind increases the dependency on the spoken word of the Binder ... what he "says." Reductionism, in Mormonism, is theft of the personal mind. It is closely related to the "book burning" of past totalitarian regimes. In the church, it is being done piece-meal ... one bite at a time, so all can be "manageable." Reduction and simplification are euphemisms for Psychological Cannibalism ... the slow reduction of the personal, reasoning mind.)
"Perhaps too many of us are strong advocates of our own specialized work or are such strong protectors of our own turf that we face the wrong way -- maybe just sideways. Simplification and reduction must come. Simplification and reduction will come. If we cannot do it on our own -- and we seem to be in that circumstance -- the future will see us doing, in anxious haste (by force? Stage 6), that which we might have done with deliberate care had we followed the vision given to us.
"Surely you have been anxiously watching the worldwide evaporation of values and standards from politics, government, society, entertainment, schools. (I.e., reason, the enemy of the church, is infiltrating our culture.) Could you be serving in the Church without having turned to those pages in the revelations and to those statements of the prophets that speak of the last days? Could you, in working for the Church, not be conscious of or have ignored the warnings? (Intimidation, Stage 6) Could you be blind to the drift that is taking place? Are you not conscious of the drift that is taking place in the Church? Could you believe other than it is critical that all of us work together and set aside personal interests and all face the same way?"
(The use of The Pattern causes the problems that Mormonism condemns, so it is not suprising that they can predict, "prophecy," and warn the ignorant of the catastrophies that will come. They then step in to "save" mankind ... but first, they must create the chaos and depression through the loss of personal identity.)
Experiences by Men - Stage 8
Depression - Unawareness of the Cause
"Ever since I can remember, Mormonism just didn't seem right to me. ....These feelings continued to grow as I did. ...I knew that a mission was out of the question, because I didn't believe. Yet, I didn't know why. ... Seeing everyone believing and content just pushed me further into depression and confusion."
Post #2 See: Stage 2-3, 4, 5, 6. #2
(The Pattern is insidious ... and because of our trust and inexperience we are not aware of its infiltration into our minds. Guilt from the Double-Binds, plus our unknowing state of mind, causes confusion and depression; a "cloud of unknowing" hovers over the brain.)
Loss of Identity
"So much of my identity was tied to the church. I half expected to become invisible if I ever decided to leave."
Post #4 See: Stage 5. #4
Loss of Identity
"I view the years I spent as a Mormon as a kind of mindrape. Mormonism gave me a terrible self-image (I could not live up to the impossible, "perfect" expectations)...
Post #10 See: Stage 2-3. #10
Loss of Identity - Unawareness of the Cause
"That place (the Language Training Center) is a serious boot camp for removing (an) a person's individuality, and replacing with an automatonlike mentality that leaves the weak minded completely gutted emotionally. Not unlike a military boot camp, the LTM drains a person of their roots, and bonds them to a system of religious salesmanship that makes them feel justified in doing just about anything for the cause, and walk around with a false sense of invulnerability."
"For some reason that I cannot fully fathom, the mormon church did not provide that which I needed in order to be spiritually fulfilled."
Post #19 See: Stages 2-3, 4, 5, 6, 7. #19.
Unawareness of the Cause
"I'm not quit sure why I left the church. ...It has been difficult to get past the idea that if I'm wrong, my eternal salvation is at risk."
Post #27 See: Stage 6. #27.
Unawareness of the Cause
"I've continued to struggle off -and-on with how I could have such strong beliefs that the LDS church is false yet still have the Church continually on my mind."
Post #36 See: Stages 5, 6. #36.
Depression - Despair
"...I had been brought to a point of great spiritual despair. At least McConkie will come to my aid, for apparently I was not alone. He says, "In some instances it leads to despondency."
Post #38 See: Stages 2-3, 4, 5, 6, 7. #38.
(His despondency was regarding a personal relationship with Christ which he had previously been advised to establish, but which afterwards was rescinded, and then was blamed for having listened to, and believing in his leaders in the first place. "Yes" was, "But" now, "No," then, "Not I, but you" are in the wrong.")
Crisis of Awareness
"What I can no longer accept is intellectual suicide, period."
Post #39 See: Stage 6. #39.
Love/Hate - Love the Lie - Hate the Truth - Depression
"The more I read from the church history, the worse I felt. The more I studied, thought and prayed, the more problems I found with the church and what it claimed to be. I started compiling a list of problems. It became harder and harder for me to go out and teach. When I got to the part of a lesson where I had to bear my testimony (even memorized in Navajo), my stomach would tighten into a knot. I became physically ill and couldn't go out to teach. ....Finally, I realized that I couldn't do it anymore -- tell people that I knew the church was true when I had such serious doubts. I felt like I was in a fog, and I didn't know what to do.
...The most important lesson I learned from the LDS church is that living a lie is actually a slow, painful spiritual death. It is much better to face the truth and live."
Post #52 See: Stage 6. #52.
"The BYU Honor Code Office likes to describe itself as an agency that is loving and caring, but the real reason it exists is to purge undesirable elements from BYU. (It always reminded me of how in Orwell's 1984, the Thought Police were headquartered in the Ministry of Love.)"
"I don't know how my situation will resolve itself. I simply know that the LDS Church as an institution has a pathological inability to deal with the unadorned truth. I also know it is neither honest nor healthy to stuff my concerns into a "little box" in my psyche and pretend as if I'm blessedly ignorant regarding many important things ..."
Post #64 See: Stages 5, 7. #64.
Loss of Identity - Unawareness of Cause
"I felt a vague sense that whatever I wanted, what I felt must be against God. I learned to alienate myself from myself. I learned to suppress my feelings, to shut myself down emotionally. That's perhaps the thing I'm most angry about now as I try to reconnect to myself, to repair all those years of psychic abuse and emotional neglect."
Post #65 See: Stage 7. #65.
Despair - Love/Hate - Killing What it Professes to Love
"Again, how ironic it is that a church which begins by promising its members such joy and happiness actually causes them such worry and despair."
Post #66 See: Stage 5. #66.
Brainwashing of Children - Adult Burdens create the Loss of Childhood
"For my entire life I have been "Mitch the miracle baby: Saved by God for a great and wondrous purpose. Lifted from the clutches of death by the hand of the Almighty Himself, to stand forth in these last days, and lead the armies of the saints against the forces of evil." ... No one knows the burden I have carried because of this. No one knows the childhood night terrors I endured for something I never asked for. ....I was told that God had saved me above all others for a special purpose and that I now owed Him for it."
Experiences of Women - Stage 8
Brain-Washed - Loss of Identity
"The constant repetition of "temple marriage", and "Saturday's warrior" and "chastity" and "every member a missionary" and "you have the truth" really kept me together through my "not so perfect" home life. I had deep underlying insecurities stemming from my parent's divorce and the poverty we lived in. I never worked through any of that till I left the church. I didn't have to think about who I was because I was told all the time who I was and what to do to have a happy life."
Unawareness of the Cause
"I left Mormonism 10 years ago. ... Right now, it is as if I have a point at which I cannot think straight, and to try to express my feelings is almost impossible. I reach the foggy state of mind that some have spoken of in their stories of leaving the LDS church."
The Dark Cloud of Unknowing
As she began to study and question Mormonism: "It was like this horrible dark cloud that had hovered over my head was lifted."
Post #29 See: Stage 5. #29.
Depression - Thoughts of Suicide - Loss of Identity
"... the spiritual angst which haunted me my entire mission and also led me to consider suicide (which was not an option due to my conviction that God would be so angry at me for ending my life that my suffering would only continue in the next life). It saddens me to realize that throughout my entire journey in Mormonism I was surrounded by others suffering like me. We were all so well conditioned in Mormonism that we would not, could not, reveal our doubts to each other, so we all felt alone in our pain."
"I threw myself into church activity with such intensity and devotion that even my sister (who had encouraged me to join the church) was concerned over the complete change in my personality. In retrospect, it was really a loss of personality rather than a change. I no longer had any ideas or opinions of my own, every thought or belief I allowed myself had to be church approved."
Post #42 See: Stages 5, 6, 7. #42.
Unawareness of the Cause
"It wasn't until after I left the church and starting living like a normal person that I realized how much the church had damaged my psyche."
Post #43 See: Stages 1, 4, 5. #43.
"One Sunday, a sister got up and spoke, ... Her entire talk was about her depression, and how her faith in the Savior had literally saved her, but that she still felt very little peace in her life, and constantly felt like she wasn't good enough. More than half of the sisters in the ward, including myself, told her how her talk affected them, and how they too suffered from depression, and felt empty and alone."
Unawareness of the Cause
"Though I felt at the time that I firmly believed all I was teaching, I have to admit that inwardly I would cringe when giving some of the concepts wondering how these people would ever believe what I was telling them. Somewhere inside, my brain was trying to get my attention, but I just was too programmed to listen."
Post # 68 See: Stages 1, 2-3. #68.
"... the deeper I dug, the more rotten the foundation seemed, until I couldn't look away--or go back. And when I studied all of this, years after being inactive, I wanted to go back. I wanted the church to be true. But my heart ached with the suspicion we'd been lied to by Joseph Smith, and church authorities following him."
Post #69 See: Stages 2-3, 4, 5. # 69.
(This is the battered child syndrome. A battered child (or adult) will always want to go back to the batterer to be loved. The child feels guilty, that it must be his or her fault that the Binder cannot love them.)
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See next: Stage 9
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Next Page: Stage 9 Psychological Cannibalism - Suicide
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