I'm not necessarily against porn, in moderation that is. However, I'm curious to get some thoughts and opinions, and a realistic statement from some of the men too....Do women in porn set real world/average women up to be disappointing because many can't measure up looks and/or talent wise?
For men that watch porn, are you disappointed by less good looking women in your life? Do you have to/ like to picture 'hotter' women when you're with someone less good looking? Do you become disappointed when the 'drama' level isn't what it is in a porn? Do you perceive this as being set up and fake, or does it faze you when you're with a real woman?

I guess this can apply to women to, but I know that for women it tends to be more about the emotional, or story line, etc.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2013 10:30PM by dogeatdog.

Glad you brought this up. I'm beautiful and men show interest in me everywhere I go, but I have a deep sadness in me that carries over to the bedroom. Men these days, pretty much all of them, watch porn, so they have high expectations when they get into bed with a beautful woman.

My sadness is that these men want sex before a commitment. And while I want sex too, which is why I give in, I can't psychologically completely release myself to enjoy it when I know that any given man hasn't made a commitment to me yet.

See it's a catch-22: he wants to try the goods before he commits, but I can't fully deliver until I feel safe & secure.

Aaaagh frustration.

So I'm alone tonight still recovering from heartache last weekend. He's an amazing lover like no other but he feels my sadness (plus I was REALLY sleepy that night, a little bit of fun but not over the top).

And yes, men do reject me after once or twice when I'm not the porn star in bed that I appear to be at first glance :'-( Men truly do expect porn stars and it's UNREALISTIC, INHUMANE, MISOGYNISTIC, and just plain sad that porn has warped everyone's minds from being able to enjoy the real thing.

Hey, I like porn too, but reality is very different and we all need to know the difference and be in the moment when with a lover.

You feel guilty about sex and pressured into it, yet it's the fault of porn.

That's bullshit. Men don't expect porn stars. Not just opinion, it's been backed by multiple studies.

If there is any connection, it's the desire to be with a woman who is enthusiastic about sex.

I AM enthusiastic...to be with a man who cares for me. They want sex right away, and I'm confused and I think I want it too, but then I mellow out because I can't fully release myself until I feel secure & loved.

This is one reason I yearn for the old fashioned way. First love. Then marriage. Then sex. Men just don't seem to want to invest themselves on all those levels anymore. So I weaken and can't hold back. Then my heart keeps breaking.

So this has gone off on a tangent. You men are probably married with average looking wives and this is what this thread is about.

To me, the real thing is much better than porn. Porn is just a fantasy -- that when used with Rosy Palm and her 5 sisters can provide a temporary relief -- but it always leaves a feeling of wanting more. Honestly, I much prefer the actual touch and feel of a real live female. It is much more physically and emotionally satisfying. I don't see how anyone can compare a real female to porn, since there is no physical contact other than Rosy mentioned above! If the guy you are with prefers alone time with himself over intimacy with you, there is something wrong with him.

I'm very intimidated by most female porn stars. When I see them I feel entirely inadequate.

... so I just watch gay men's porn. It's awesome.

Ugh, no. Porn stars are generally so fake and gross. I think they make "regular" women look better.

I agree. I can't name more than five porn stars, but most of the ones I can identify want to make me hurl. Especially the fake boobs and bad facial surgery.

You can name 5 porn stars?

I just like to see naked women. Whether it be in person or in porn.

As far as who I am with being amazingly hot looking and talented...meh, I don't expect anything more out of them than I expect out of myself.

As far as being "disappointed with less good looking women in my life", hey...it all looks the same in the dark.

Do women's fantasies about perfect husbands cause them to be disappointed with actual men?

Yes.

:D

Yes! I married a fit, trim man, then over the years he let himself go body & personality & all. No more attraction. Divorce.

I like fit, trim men. And I only feel sexual when I'm fit & trim too. It's so good!

How similar is the typical cop movie to the average day in the life of a police officer? The last romantic film you saw, how close was that to your love life? I can enjoy a fantasy without expecting (or even wanting) real life to be the same.

dogeatdog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For men that watch porn, are you disappointed by
> less good looking women in your life?

The appeal of porn is only slightly about attractive women. Mostly it about the fantasy of women who are really into sex, who are always in the mood for it, who don't have hangups, and, most importantly, who will make no demands of you. It's about the fun of sex without the burdens of actual life.

Kind of like romance novels where the heroin gets swept off her feet--often without any actually active choices on her part--to a life of riches where she gets everything her whims desire.

Another interesting thing about hetero porn; the men are props.

> The appeal of porn is only slightly about attractive women.

Yeah, that's why most porn stars are forty-something, normal sized, normal looking women in their horny prime...

In body type and age. There are plenty of pornos with 40 somethings and normal bodies.

They usually have extremely crude descriptions (like all porn) which make me rather uncomfortable though.

Yes, I do know that there is some variety... which is why I've been saying 'most' in my posts. But the very fact is there is a very sexualized ideal and the rest is 'variety' - and I'm not entirely comfortable feeling like I'm a sideshow circus variety act just because I'm a normal 45 old year woman.

A FWIW, I'm no prude. Far from it. But I am critical of media and its messages. I am also negatively affected by it as well.

I get that.

I don't think this is a problem for most men. It may be for some, but I would suspect that it would be those who were demanding and perfectionist in general.

My husband, along with the few sex partners I had previously, watches porn if I am unavailable for sex. He explains it as just a series of body parts to get he motor running so that he can get it done more quickly. It almost sounds like a need for the toilet, really.
He did once tell me that porn was much more exciting before he actually had sex. The visual, no matter how nice, just isn't as good as actually doing it.
I watch porn occasionally myself. The men in porn are usually ridiculously well endowed. That has not made me expect, or even desire, and 11 inch dong in any of my relationships.

We do, on rare occasions watch porn together and even try out some of the "Moves". Most of them are useless, but we have found a few gems.

Yes! To me, porn is simply a tool to help get the job done quickly when my wife's not in the mood. It's comparable to being thrown a slice of bread when you are starving. I definitely prefer the full-course meal of doing the deed with my wife over choking the bishop alone. These porn stars are so fake and so phony-- there is no comparison to my living/breathing wife. If anything, it makes me appreciate her that much more!

And plus, you always run the risk of clicking on something That Was Not What You Expected. I'll never forget once when I was up with a sick child, hearing "Good Lord! Now that's just medically fascinating!" coming from the other room.

Tmi probably. Sorry. It still makes me giggle.

Porn is so sterile. Like an operation. Everything so clean and precise. Not at all like the real thing with a real person. No comparison.

Disappointed (not in/with ME, Of Course!)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2013 11:11PM by guynoirprivateeye.

Just some food for thought about porn..I would be lying if I said I had never looked at it but I will say that some of the most popular porn sites seem to be those of the "amateur" variety, meaning "average women" of all types. I would have to say that it ain't always about beauty....Sometimes personality and overall attractiveness wins the day...

Studies have been done where women were shown an array of photos of different shaped women and asked to pick which ones they thought men were attracted to. Then the men were shown the same photos and indicated which ones they were attracted to. Men picked a much broader range than women thought they would.

If we men were attracted only to porn actresses and supermodels, 99% of us would be single, because there aren't enough of those women to go around.

But what if there was?

To torture ourselves with.

You must be exactly 5'9. Curly hair is unacceptable.

I wonder this too. It seems to me I'm seeing/hearing about more and more young guys who only want certain physical qualities in the women they date or would consider marrying. And some of these guys are nothing to write home about so I feel that their expectations for physical beauty in a partner are a bit unrealistic. I'm wondering where this is coming from. Porn or other...?

First of all, let me say that I did not bring up this topic.

Second, apparently there is a whirl wind controversy right now about how censorship, particularly in Australian Porn, has actually created an unintended situation where women are feeling compelled, perhaps even unwittingly to the real underlying impetus in many cases, to imitate officially acceptable presented media images of portrayed women, and submitting in ever increasing numbers ..... to vaginal "improvement" cosmetic surgery.

The concise (my wording) minor Vulva is now officially "in" as a beauty trend, where less is truly more.... desirable, and many women are willing to have surgery to get there. This adds an entirely new facet/ dimension to the term of "trimming down" in the interest of personal improvement and being more attractive. The cosmetic surgery to get it, is the new "boob job" of female enhancement of current times.

Lots of videos on youtube about this. It is very interesting....AS A SOCIAL ISSUE THAT IS.

MORmON leadershi-t has mostly ignored the popularity and prevalence of boob jobs in LDS female membership.
It will be most amusing if they respond to this emerging trend.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2013 11:22PM by lucky.

That's super interesting as a social issue for sure. And it does speak to the topic at hand as well.

This calls for a quote from Coupling (UK):

Jeff: Sex can be very stressful for men. You judge us on technique, sensitivity, stamina... We're just happy if you're naked... half naked... one breast.

There are many more.