"The Work of Salvation" does not bode well with my family.

My children and I formally resigned from the cult together; however one daughter married a TBM RM in the temple, and they are raising their children to be Mormons. So far, religion has been a subject that is off limits to all of us. I don't want to be pestered, and my TBM son-in-law and his family do not want to hear the Truth. Son-in-law's family shuns us. We did well with this stalemate, for 8 years. Fortunately, there are thousands of other things to talk about. We are very busy with our children, careers, sports, hobbies, non-Mormon friends, trips, yard work, charity work, other churches--as I said, a thousand things.

My daughter came home early from Mormon sacrament meeting last Sunday, disgusted. She says that she misses the old sermons at the Lutheran church, about Christ, God, Love, Helping Others, and all those other subjects that used to inspire and uplift her. Now, she says, all the talks are the same, and all are about re-activating "the less active" and recruiting new members. They say, "Think hard, and pray hard. SURELY there is someone you know--a neighbor, co-worker, family-member--and even people you don't know--that you can influence. Start a discussing in the grocery store line or on the airplane...bla-bla-bla. Never give up on anyone. These people NEED the gospel in their lives!" My TBM son-in-law is very popular, and his response was, "Sounds like a good way to lose friends."

But the point of my post is that my daughter and her family live in my same old ward, and they are pestering them to bring ME back.

DD: "They really want you there, Mom." Me: "They need organists and pianists."

DD: "But, Mom, they really miss you." Me: " No, my former Mormon "friends" have never called me, have never stopped to talk to me in the grocery store. I'm still alive, and in my house--how can they "miss me?"

My daughter says church depresses her. My Som-in-law just plays with his i-phone in sacrament meeting, which makes my daughter mad, because he is the one who forces everyone to go to church, and then he doesn't even listen. He leaves the room when his TBM family start talking about Mormonism. He and my daughter didn't attend regularly, until they both were given callings, which serve the purpose of not allowing them to take a break unless they find a substitute. We miss our fun extended-family outings on Sundays. It is painful to watch that happy little family being swallowed, used, and chewed-up by an evil cult, and by the minions who don't really care about them. Now, the Mormons are coming after me and my other children again, to do the same thing to us, again. NEVER!

I would like someone on RFM to write a form letter for us, as a guide, like the Letters of Resignation from the Mormon church. Only this letter would be to bishops, stake presidents, RS presidents, neighbors, and the bishops of our married children and grandchildren--or anyone who is instigating this "Work of Salvation" locally, in our neighborhoods.
--------------------------

>>Dear (whoever you are),

>>Please do not pressure my family (names) to try to reactivate me. I formally resigned 8 years ago, and was met with so much opposition and delay, that I had to call Greg Dodge in person, and threaten to sue the LDS church. In my resignation decree, I demanded for "NO CONTACT" from Mormon representatives. I am living a good Christian life as an active Lutheran, and I was recently baptized into their church. I do almost all of my charity work and donations through a coalition of local Christian churches. I will never donate to the Mormons. I want to be left alone, to live my very happy life.

>>I love my family, above all else. I will not allow your organization to pester and manipulate my family members into trying to recruit me or (names of my other children) who are Lutherans and Methodists. My Mormon children and grandchildren are cooperative and friendly to everyone--but I am not as nice when it comes to the Mormon church and its invasive tactics. Your cult's aggressiveness is dividing our family once again, and causing arguments that are completely unnecessary.

>>You are losing your own members over this, who believe they are going to your church building to worship God, and only get brow-beaten into going out and recruiting new members. Stop "reaching out" or we ex-Mormons will start "reaching out" in the community, with the Truth about Joseph Smith, church history, the Book of Mormon and the Book of Abraham, and exactly why your group does not disclose its finances.

-----------------------------
I would like to take out a restraining order against the Mormons, but my daughter and son-in-law would be humiliated. They made me take down my "No Soliciting" sign off my door. They say, "But, these are our FRIENDS." Their children play together at each other's houses, and go to the same schools. I know, from experience, that my grandchildren would be painfully marginalized at any sign of a crazy grandma that chases away the missionaries. What can I do? I can't move away, because of my career, and my other children live in our same neighborhood.

Help!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2013 06:09PM by forestpal.

i know this may be difficut for both mormons & former mormons alike to understand,

but, well, they're just to personal.

just like my grown kids do not want to discuss details of their sexual relationships with their mother, I think we also should leave religin well enough alone. All of us.

& pass the cole slaw or potatoe salad.a lready.

tell them that. see if it works.

today I had the distinct privelige of hearing a fourteen year old fine a line in a book full of lion hunts, lion attacks, major action- he identified as evidence the main character had excitement in his life: it was five words about kicking a ball, like soccer.
Then his face lit up- soccer was more important in his life than anything today- even lion attacks, lion chasing cows through camp and knocking down tents in the night, or hunting lions- nothing, nothing meant excitment to him, like soccer.

Ask your darling family to play more soccer. & invite you. bring refreshments.

First, forestpal, I don't think a restraining order is appropriate, or even available. This varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but usually you can't take it out on just anybody who annoys you. It is for protection against people in defined relationships, present and past: family, household, employment, etc. And you have to demonstrate how you have been, or are in danger of, real harm.

You might keep a record of unsolicited contacts from the Ward and elsewhere. Get enough of these (a journal or diary should be admissible) and you have a harassment situation, which is different. And don't forget that great interogatory, "What part of the word 'NO' do you not understand?"


Secondly, do an internet search for Lutheran churches in your DD's area. See if one of them has video or audio of their church services, or better, podcasts. Listen to a few and get a feel for them. Then send the link to DD and encourage her to start listening, so she can connect with the music, liturgy, and sermonic material she's missing. She can plug into them while she's jogging, doing her chores, errands...etc.

If my idea works, she will start enjoying them and will appreciate the differences between tscc and an authentically Christian church. After that, who knows?

Thirdly, give her a modern study Bible in a contemporary translation. I highly recommend the ESV Study Bible (link below), which has excellent historical, archeological, and study notes. Suggest that she read a chapter a day (I recommend Luke's gospel). This will get her away from the KJV, and displace some of tscc stuff, and, again, help her re-connect with authentic Christianity. I've known several people who were weaned off of Christian Science this way.

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/easy_find?Ntt=esv&N=0&Ntk=keywords&action=Search&Ne=0&event=ESRCG&nav_search=1&cms=1



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/27/2013 09:00PM by caffiend.

Thanks for the great advice.

Funny, but we were just mentioning soccer and football today. My grandchild plays soccer, and my (ex-Mormon) son coaches, and our (ex-Mormon) cousin plays football. We will have something to keep us busy as a family and to take the focus off of Mormonism, for a season.

Thank you for the Bible suggestion about getting my daughter away from the KJV Bible. I am going to do this, myself. What a great idea to "re-connect with authentic Christianity."

So, writing a letter to someone won't do any good.... Well, the Mormons already know we don't want to be a member, and we would just be repeating ourselves. How about a brief card to hand them at the door, without having to engage them in conversation? Or, maybe, a copy of our letter of resignation, which spells it all out in two short pages. I'm tired of interrupting what I'm doing, to go answer the door, usually late at night, and having it always be a Mormon, asking "Is there anything I can do for you>?"

My answer to that is, "No. Your price is too high. Slam."

forestpal Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ....How about a brief card to hand them at the door, without having to engage them in conversation?....


Try this...

http://www.roadkilldelight.com/NOM/YC7.pdf

Perhaps a card in a visible spot (doorbell, mailbox?) "No Soliciters -- Especially Religious Prosletyzers."

My son does graphics. I should ask him to design a sign with peachy-cheeked elders holding a BoM, with the circle and the diagonal slash across it, to indicate "NO -----."

Wish they'd come to my home in Boston. I'm retired, with a great library and plenty of time. I'd love to sit them down and give them a dose of CAgirl's medicine: a nice, long, talk about false religion.

Poor me! My main nuisance in this regard is all the take-out and delivery menus people throw on my steps. Oh, woe, how they afflict me!

What a wonderful observation by your daughter!!

Like all good MLMs, the primary goal for Mormons is to create more Mormons, either by birthing them or dunking them. It is really a pretty pathetic moral imperative. That and tithing is what defines a "good" person in the Mormon universe.

If your daughter is in SLC, anywhere near the south end of the valley, Good Shepherd Lutheran at 8800 S 700 E seems to be very popular. I am actually surprised at the number of Lutheran churches and even schools in the SL Valley. Who knew there were that many Norwegians and Swedes around?

As for the family attempts to add you to their religious down-line, I have no advice. I'd tell them to FO&D, but I don't have grandchildren to consider.

Good way to lose friends, indeed.

Or, you could try saying in the friendliest way "Now Bob, you know I'm Lutheran now and in no way interested in joining your church. The only reason I can think of that you are coming around is because you too doubt the truthfulness of Mormonism and need information. Give me some time to get together my proof about why the First Vision didn't happen, why the Book of Abraham is disproven and my list of anachronisms in the Book of Mormon. Then we can have a nice discussion. Give me a day or two to gather the most convincing stuff and then come back. Bring friends. Or send friends over, if they can't come with you. I'll just assume that everyone who comes over is someone you sent who is a closet disbeliever and make sure I give them the same damning stuff I'm going to prepare for you. Thanks for trusting me with your doubts - I'll get you free of that crazy cult. Trust me." Big smile. Shut the door.

They'll leave you alone after that but if they don't, tell the next person the same thing but add "You know Bob was over here the other day expressing his doubts about Mormonism. He'll be glad to know you don't believe either." What they won't do to protect their beliefs, they'll do to protect their reputation. They'll definitely ignore you after that.

Brilliant. Especially the "Bob was just over here the other expressing his doubts too."

OMG Forestpal. What a deja vu nightmare!

I love your letter. I think you should use it.

;o)

CA GIRL, You ROCK! I just love your stuff.
Another CA girl here (Lake County)

I want to be sure I understand correctly. You and your family left tscc but your daughter married a Mormon and reactivated, right? But she's unhappy back in tscc and misses the church you joined when you left? And TBM SIL is lukewarm? And you have another SILs who's?

Take a deep breath and be grateful.

I suggest you do not tell any "visitors" at your door "Your price is too high." This validates their feelings that mormons and only mormons are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to be good. You'll only feed their belief in their own superiority and that of tscc. As long as you're sincere let me suggest telling them 'I've found a better way to serve
God. My relationship with my savior is closer and clearer than it's ever been and my faith is still growing. The ways in which I serve are more meaningful than anything I've done before. And our family relationships are happier and more genuine than ever', something like this. Yes, it's a testimony and it's one mormons do not want to hear. I'd take it step further and say 'I'll pray that you'll be able to find the same relationship with Christ that I've found.' That should be enough to keep to stop the visits.

But if they don't, send a letter to the tscc bishop by registered mail and keep a record of contacts and dates. In some jurisdictions it's ridiculously easy to get a restraining order if you have any documentation. Do you still have a copy of the letter you sent 8 years ago? My guess though is a registered letter would be enough for the ward to understand you're serious.

You might tell your daughter something like "honey, they don't want us back, they just want the numbers and our money." If she misses the message you get in the Lutheran church, talk to her about that. She's farther out than your realize. SIL is another story. He may hate tscc and think the JS stories are crap, but if you attack what he probably sees as his heritage, he may bow up. But, if you can do it without being angry, you might start with the BoA and go forward.

It's great you're getting the message of joy in Christ and helping others in real ways.

If I follow you, it is your own family members that are pestering you?

Time to pull out the 11 article of faith on them and then set some boundaries.

Maybe you could ask your Lutheran minister to have a meeting with you and the bishop and your family member and discuss how you are an active member of his congregation and they need to respect that.

I thought your comments about sacrament meeting were particularly insightful. This is something I began to notice when I was at BYU teaching various sunday classes. Nearly everyone was there because they had to be, and nobody really engaged the material the same way they would in a university class. I suppose for the Morg, that's just as well. When you start to engage it that way, you end up here!

It's a really interesting insight into the recruiting. If it is so great, why is everyone there disconnected?

Hey forestpal!! You're back!

It's disturbing how insidious the church and its tentacles are. Perfectly reasonable, bright people are intimidated into participating, and give up their mental health and freedom. It's truly frightening.