Nothing... Manti live 69' oh the horror

I still have night tremors

Hey, Manti here too- 67

I knew nothing and I didn't have anyone with me to lead me around. After the old matrons oiled me up and turned me loose I went the wrong way and was headed into an area where there were some guys in white standing around. One of the ladies grabbed me and turned me around and seemed quite upset at me. I took the attitude that I didn't see how they expected me to know where to go since I had never been there before.

The rest of the session I took on my spectator persona, which is what I often do in stressful situations.

I believe I may have crossed my fingers behind my back a few times. "Do you promise to obey your husband.."

I only went to the Manti temple once in 1998. It was surreal. I couldn't figure out if that was the Spanish Armada on the mural in the World Room. The way I remember it, there were Indians and Spaniards or something, I couldn't tell for sure, but weird depictions of world events on the mural. The Terrestial Room was dark and dreary, and the celestial room just as dark and dreary like a parlor room in an old house.

Sounds like parents prepare their kids for the temple the way women used to prepare their innocent daughters for the wedding night in olden days. "Just lay back and think of England."

In my case, my parents knew nothing about the temple. My mother gave me her locket to wear on my wedding dress so that I would have something of hers with me. But after I got dressed, one of the matrons made me take it off, of course.

That it was sacred, not secret. That there would be tokens which are really just different things to do with your hands) to learn. That I would be making covenants with God. That it wasn't scary, just really sacred.

I attended two sets of temple prep classes before I went to the temple for the first time. I never learned about anything that really goes on in the temple. I was totally unprepared.

Yeah I remember those temple prep classes. Not very helpful.that manual, I think written by BKP if I remember correctly? It jst said that everything we do in the temple is symbolic and that our spiritual senses will interpret everything that goes on in there (that's my phraseology, not the manual's).

I was recommended to study Genesis' creation story, and read the Books of Moses & Abraham.

Still very vague suggestions. And I went through the temple numerous times clean & pure but never came away feeling enlightened. Just calm and empty, and a feeling that I had done what was right, so I must be a good person. Really I was just bored & empty & lonely. One night I returned to my army barracks at midnight after a temple trip, alone, and walked past a group of people who were out having fun, one of whom was a Mormon gal who felt guilty for being inactive, but she was clearly getting more enjoyment out of life that I was. She looked at me with longing for the way I was living, and I looked at her with longing for the way she was living.

My mom tried to prepare me a little. I got a lot of "it wont be what you're expecting", "dont worry if it's a bit strange at first." "Don't worry about trying to remember everything, there will be people there to help you through.", she even told me you learn some "secret handshakes". I was still disappointed at the lack of "spiritualness". I tried to convince myself that it was a lot more special than it really was.

Nothing. But with all the mystery and hushed tones when the temple was even mentioned, I assumed it would be a spiritual experience beyond anything imaginable. I honestly thought I would see angels. Geez I was naive.

To go through that nonsense and then still stay TBM is proof of the brainwashing. Imagine the response if you haven't been groomed from birth to accept crazy as holy.

"Crazy as holy"!!! Ain't that the truth!!

On the drive over to the temple for my first visit beyond dead dunking, my parents nervously told me that the temple "different" that there are more rote prayers, like the sacrament. That's it.

I was not told that I would be standing naked with nothing but an awkward "shield" between me and some weird old guy who wanted to put oil on me. I was not told that I would be watching the most boring movie ever while my parents looked at me beatifically, while I sat confused and nervous that I didn't read the fine print close enough. I wasn't told that when I finally got to the all white hotel lobby (otherwise known as the celestial room) that not only would there not be any angels, but that I would be shuffled out of the room as quickly as possible to make space for the next session (even though the session I was in was pretty much me, my dad, my mother, and a temple worker or two).

I had been told afterwards, after buying new underwear with my mother, at the age of 19, that I should be happy, that the experience was full of symbolism and depth and I should keep going to learn more. I kept thinking back to the movie and didn't see anything "deep and meaningful", it was the creation story through and through... with a bunch of promises that I didn't think anyone I knew really kept. But, I was told to be happy, so "happy" I was...

What?! You mean you're not living the law of consecration?

At the time, despite the shield and all, I enjoyed the washing and annointing far more than the endowment. At least the former included some blessings...something I could think about. The endowment was just plain strange..."Okay, I've made these promises...I can't wait to hear the Lord's part of the covenants. Nothing?! All I get are my tokens and signs?!"

My mom told me "some parts are kind of bizarre."

Afterwards I thought: Kind of?????

The way my parents talked about it, it sounded like I was going to be molested but it would be okay, because I wouldn't feel like I was being molested. When I went through, I was surprised at how tame it was relative to how they were playing it up. Then after I left the church, I found out about the naked touching, and I realized that they hadn't done initiatories in so long that they didn't know it was changed.

I went through temple prep, which really didn't discuss much of anything. Then, I met with the stake president. He talked about being spiritually prepared and mentioned how he was worried that he was going to be walking around the temple naked all day when he received his endowment. I thought, "WTF does that mean?" I mentioned it to my mom, and she assured me that it wasn't a big deal. She said, "Wait 'til you see the hat!"

I was taught I would gain a special knowledge of the creation and learn how to return to God.

So, before I went, I was fully expecting to receive some incredible spiritual manifestation or a learning experience that was so profound it could only be taught in the House of the Lord.

Instead, I got touched by some old dude, performed secret handshakes, did cult-like chanting, wore a weird costume, made bizarre oaths, found out my current name wasn't good enough, and walked away wondering what the hell just happened.

I wasn't prepped in any way before receiving my endowments in the Provo Temple in 1975 before my mission. My parents and eldest sister were there with me along with a childhood friend and a college friend. It was definitely twilight zonish. Have to attribute it to a lifetime of indoctrination.

Not a damn thing!!!
And to this very day I am still somewhat bothered with not having been warned or prepped about having to undress and wear a "shield" in front of strangers.
And who would have thought that I'd be introduced to a Satan character in the temple of all places?
Oh...the irony of it all...

LOL!!! That IS a good STORY!!!

I was told...(HA>HA>)...

are you ready for this?

"Read the BoA..."

That should have been a clue!!

I was told that I would recieve an endowment. An endowment being a gift. Little did I realize that I was the one giving the gift-all my time, talents, everything I have, to the church. Talk about bait and switch.

The only thing my I heard was from my mother. She told there was a lot "symbolism".

Red flags quickly went up with the naked touching. The second red flag went up when just prior to the movie starting there was this announcement -

"If you proceed and receive your full endowment, you will be required to take upon yourselves sacred obligations, the violation of which will bring upon you the judgment of God; for God will not be mocked. If any of you desire to withdraw rather than accept these obligations of yourown free will and choice, you may now make it known by raising your hand."

I remember thinking, "How am I to decide if I want to withdraw or accept the "obligations" if I don't know what they are yet?"

Lastly, my first time through the temple was the closest I had ever come to hearing the "still small voice". As I was acting out slitting my own throat, disemboweling myself, and Pay Lay Ale-ing, the thought of "You ARE in a cult!!" kept pounding in my head.

I was taught that the temple was the closest place to God, and it was a good place to meditate and pray for answers. I kept thinking, throughout my first session, that I just needed to get through and get to the Celestial Room, and "all would be made clear" to me. You can imagine my disappointment, when we sat down together to discuss the whole thing, and the second our butts hit the satin, we were shushed and shooed-out by those grouchy matrons. They really don't want you talking about it or thinking about it. They said to come back for more and more sessions, and eventually all will be made clear. (Yeah, maybe in the next life.)

I was told that the temple was..how did they put it...the fulfillment of the gospel...or something like that. I was well-versed in the Bible, and the Mormon temple ceremony was just the same old stuff from Genesis--nothing new at all! Was I supposed to read between the lines?

I was warned that the costumes and hats looked funny. I didn't know the veil would be hard to breathe through, and was only for women. I didn't know the veil hat would ruin my pretty wedding hair. I did know that the robe would wrinkle my wedding dress, so I wore a rented temple dress.

My mother warned me that the garments would be uncomfortable, and that she and my father hardly ever wore them. She showed me how to alter them, and put lace on them!

The only "new and complete" things I learned were the handshakes, and I thought it was very silly that God would need these signs and tokens (tokens?), when He knew every hair on our head, every sparrow that falls, and He knew what was in our heart. couldn't the God of the Universe rule over his own Spirit World, without the help of the Mormons doing rituals and keeping records of His Dead?

I expected to have everything come to fruition, and have all my questions answered. Instead, I felt the evil presence of Satan in the temple. I was horrified at the naked touching, the chanting, having to consecrate everything to the church, and vowing obedience to my husband instead of to God. I thought of the Robert Frost poem, "The Trial by Existence."

"Tis of the essence of life here,
Though we choose greatly, still to lack
The lasting memory at all clear,
That life has for us on the wrack
Nothing but what we somehow chose;
Thus we are wholly stripped of pride
In the pain that has but one close,
Bearing it crushed and mystified."

I left the temple knowing that I was in a cult, and I was physically ill. I went upstairs to rest an hour, before getting ready for the reception. The RM I married in the temple that day, came upstairs and raped me. I didn't know it was possible for husband to "rape" his wife. I pleaded with him that I had lived my whole life for my Wedding Day, and wanted to be a virgin in a white wedding dress at the reception, and that I would feel better after the reception. He quoted D&C 132, and said I was his property, like chattel, and that he could do whatever he wanted to me. No one told me about THAT!

I was told that the temple was going to be the best experience of my life--but it was the worst.

That is horrible. I'm so sorry.

Joy, thanks for sharing your wedding day experience with us.

You must have been in shock and feeling so much stress after getting home from the temple! Then, with the first sexual experience that meaningless and unloving, were you even able to look at your TBM RM DH at the reception?

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.

I was a total disbeliever by the time I went through. I had
read the entire ceremony verbatim that I'd gotten from the
Tanners.

I was probably the only first-timer who performed the veil
ceremony flawlessly.

When told to bow my head and say, "yes," I bowed my head and
said, "bullshit." Nobody seemed to notice.

As I shook hands with a GA in the temple, while being there
TOTALLY unworthily, I thought about all those stories about
stopping the endowment because one of the temple workers got
discernment that SOMEONE was here unworthily. Ha!

Met with parents and bishop, read in Old Testament where it talks about robes and what not in the temple, bishop said 'the women never look more beautiful, the men honestly look silly'. The bishop actually went through most of what happens.

From others: 'Its not like sacrament meeting' and 'you won't believe mormons do that'.

not much - and that's even after taking "temple prep" at Ricks...

that class makes you think you know what it's all about but then you're in there and you get the shocking realization that a semester talking about why there are temples or how temples fit into the plan of salvation or talking about being worthy to enter did nothing to prepare you for the costume on/off dance and secret clubhouse handshakes and passwords

Manti Live 1979. Nothing like the old death penalties. I did like the old guy that played satan. Satan ain much of a bad A** I liked the old guy that played the preacher (Oh you want religion do you?). He reminded me of my high school shop teacher.LOL

I went through in 1991--after the changes--and my extended TBM family made sure I knew everything about the then-current endowment. For years, I thought the stories about the previous versions of the temple were lies.