If there was a single musical artist that has helped me understand my life, it's been Tori Amos. Her songs have been like a chronicle of my life. Honestly, on the surface, her lyrics don't seem to make a lot of sense, but if you dig deeper, they're explosively profound. One in particular fits my journey out of Mormonism so closely. It's called 'Crucify'.

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid what that could bring
I've got a bowling ball in my stomach
I've got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my COURAGE would choose to sell out now.

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what GOD needs
One more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my HEART is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog beggin' for LOVE
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the brid

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough GUILT to start
My own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my HEART is sick of being in chains

Please be
Save me
I CRY

Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Where are those angels
When you need them

Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my HEART is sick of being in chains

Why do we chain
Crucify ourselves
Everyday

Never going back again
Crucify myself again
You know
Never going back again to
Crucify myself
Everyday

"Taxi Ride"

Lily is dancing
on the table
We've all been
Pushed
Too far
I guess on days
like this
you know who your
friends are
Just another Dead F*g
to you that's all
Just another Light missing
on a long taxi ride
taxi ride

And I'm down to
Your last cigarette and
this "We are one" crap
as you're invading
This thing you call
Love - she smiles
way too much but
I'm glad you're
on my side, sure
I'm glad you're on
my side still

You think you deserve
a trust fund
Just because you
Want one
Sure you talk the talk
when you need to
I fear
the whole world is
starting to
Believe you
Just another Dead F*g
to you that's all
Just another Light missing
in a long taxi line
taxi line

And I'm down to
Your last cigarette and
this "We are one" crap
as you're invading
This thing you call
Love - she smiles
way too much but
I'm glad you're
on my side, sure
I'm glad you're on
my side still

Lily is dancing
on the
table
We've all been pushed
Too far today
Even a glamorous
Bitch can be in
need
this is where you know
the Honey
from the
Killer Bees
I'm glad you're on
my side
sure
I'm glad you're on
my side
sure
I'm glad you're on
my side still

Got a long taxi ride
Got a long taxi ride

"Precious Things"


So I ran faster
But it caught me here
Yes my loyalties turned
Like my ankle
In the seventh grade
Running after BILLY
Running after the rain

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold over me

He said you're really an ugly girl
But I like the way you play
And I died
But I thanked him
Can you believe that sick sick
holding on to his picture
Dressing up every day
I wanna smash the faces
Of those beautiful BOYS
Those christian boys
So you can make me cum that doesn't make you JESUS

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold over me

I remember
Yes in my peach party dress
No one dared
No one cared
To tell me where the pretty girls are
Those demigods
With their NINE-INCH nails and little fascist panties tucked inside the heart
of every nice girl

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break
Let them wash away
These these precious things
Let them bleed now
Let them wash away
These these precious things
Let them break their hold over me

Precious
Precious

I love her, too. She always helps me through rough patches.

"...and here she's acting happy, inside her handsome home, and me, I'm flying in my taxi, takin' tips and gettin' stoned.."


Ron

We ARE kindred spirits, GLA. I love Tori like no other. She was the only artist who "got me" when I was a teenager.

Edit: I didn't list a song at first, I can't say which is my favorite, I can't choose just one. But here are the lyrics for the first one I performed in public. This one spoke to the heart of a lonely girl who wished she had a daddy like this. Thanks for the flashback.

Winter
Snow can wait
I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose
Get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winter
I put my hand in my father's glove
I run off
Where the drifts get deeper
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
I hear a voice
"Your must learn to stand up for yourself
Cause I can't always be around"
He says
When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Boys get discovered as winter melts
Flowers competing for the sun
Years go by and I'm here still waiting Withering where some snowman was
Mirror mirror where's the crystal palace
But I only can see the myself
Skating around the truth who I am
But I know dad the ice is getting thin

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Hair is grey
And the fires are burning
So many dreams
On the shelf
You say I wanted you to be proud of me
I always wanted that myself

He says
When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses have gone ahead
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change
My dear



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2011 03:46PM by piper.