I've been doing a lot of research against the Mormon church even though I am already out. I don't know why I am continuing to research, I guess I still find it interesting. My bf asks why I am so obsessed...what to say?

Tell him this is how many exmormons recover from a highly controlling and invasive cult experience.

+1

I liken it unto this:

I was in Mexico several years ago and kept seeing velvet Elvis paintings. They were ugly, disgusting, and totally weird. Regardless, I just kept looking at them at every store. You just can't avert your eyes.

Just sayin'...

Ron

It's an area of interest for you and you want to know more about it.

AMY This is called "Decision Reinforcement" and it happens once we make a decision, we then study all the references or books that reinforce our previously made decision. Texts that we agree with and are relative to our decision, jump out of the books and we also review experiences in the past that make us say, "See I knew I made the right choice " It is psychologically done to give us comfort in our decision making process.

It is also done in school, after taking an examination. Once the test is over we go back to our text books to see if what was in them, is what we put on the test paper. You will keep on persuing this habit until you have the comfort of knowing what you did was right for you, or you will regret your decision.

JB

You love fiction.

It's history affected my life more dramatically than anything else and its fascinating to see how the church got into a position to do that to so many people.

I don't know if that last post was addressed to me (Just Browsing) or to Amy.. Just like to explain why I answered the way I did, I may not have made it totally clear.


How many people on this board have posted examples of actually go back to studying the Church and its teachings, TO SEE IF THEY ARE TRUE ???.

I am sure that most, if not all of the posts on the board validate (and quite rightly so) the reasons why the board members left, or were thrown out of the Church.

Wierd Doctrines, Abuses of Power, Lies, Cover- ups, horrendous experiences, are all posted by board members to explain our reasons to leave. That is what I meant by posting our "Decision Reinforcement".

JB

My comment was for Amy. I think the reasons are varried for continuing to study or seek out info. I so to help others with recovery and to be knowlegable on the subject. I also do so to gain new info that I made the right decision to leave. Last reason is a need to continue to work off anger and negitive feelings that I was so stupid to be duped by a cult. I am learning to be a person for the first time in my life and I learn a lot from others that are posting. It is therapy for me.

Amy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've been doing a lot of research against the
> Mormon church even though I am already out. I
> don't know why I am continuing to research, I
> guess I still find it interesting. My bf asks why
> I am so obsessed...what to say?

Say this: "I find it interesting. By the way, did you know there is a sub-culture of Youtube users who love to watch people having boils lanced and cysts squeezed out? Often at home or at work? Some of those videos have over two million hits! Whilst they know that watching those videos is gross, they still enjoy it. They find it deeply rewarding. So perhaps that's how it is with my interesting in researching Mormonism? I know it's a gross habit, but I just can't help myself!"

It's something you're passionate about. It's a fascinating topic. Good for you! Don't allow anyone to dampen your interests.

Thank goodness enough people were passionate enough about the subject to do web sites and make so much reliable information available!

I get fed up with people making a big deal out of someone's personal interests and calling them an obsession. That's just wacky!

When someone calls somebody else's interest an "obsession", there usually is a bit of judgement going along with that.

. . . As in "what's your problem that you are interested in that thing that I don't value?" That sort of conversation is a red flag to keep your eye on this guy. Does he minimize the value of other things that are important to you? That's often a sign of a destructive relationship.

Maybe you ARE obsessed. I was. My whole worldview changed and I couldn't think about much else for about 9 months. I HAD to process everything mentally. My thought is that you can either work your issues/concerns about the church now, or let it hang over you for a number of years. I vote for taking care of the concerns so you can move forward in your life. Maybe if you explain why it matters so much, he'll understand.

People ask me why I'm obsessed and I say "Because I am.". Of course I have Asperger's which most people consider enough of a reason. ;)

Since I didn't get the truth before, now I've got to see how much information was with-held and how much I was lied to.

Susan

i think i've been out as long as i was in, maybe longer, and i'm still mildly obsessed.

as far as i can remember i never posted on the old boards though. i'm pretty interested in cults in general now, and in religion, though i can't really count myself among any of them. it's true though, you don't just leave a cult and never think about it again. well, no one i've ever heard of. they were in your head, you know? at least enough to try to keep you there. you don't shake that without addressing it.

Knowledge is power.

all of your attention?

For me it's because it is interesting to see millions of people of apparent sound minds believe in something that is so OBVIOUSLY, PATENTLY, AND PROVABLY FALSE.

I want to thank everyone for your responses. You all have some great thoughts!

Well I approached him with the fact that I want to learn as much as I can about the truth so that I can properly defend myself in case my lack of belief is questioned. That and I find it extremely interesting. When you've been lied to almost all your life, you want to know everything you can about the truth. Well I do anyway.

But I pretty much told him it's going to be one of my hobbies until I have fully dealt with the mental anguish caused by being a member of the cult, which could take 5 years or 500 years. He just has to learn to deal with it :)

Mostly he said he can only take so much discussion about it, so we agreed that if it's too much, he should tell me and I'll stop sharing. Not necessarily stop researching.

See? He's not such a bad guy. I think he just doesn't understand because he wasn't really raised in a religion and doesn't know what a mind fuck does to you permanently.