My 14 yr-old son walked into my bedroom one night last week while DW was at a Primary board meeting. He asked straight out, "Mormonism is all made up, isn't it?"
"What makes you say that?", I replied.
He brought up all the other major world religions-Muslims, buddhists, hinduist, etc., and he said something to the effect, "if those religions are made up, then why wouldn't Mormonism be made up?"
I said, with a smile on my face, "I'm glad you figured it out. It is made up. Then I said something I read recently-"All religions are a product of the culture in which they arise. Different parts of the world have different religions. That's why there are so many of them."
He says he doesn't know if he even believes in god, that going to church has no effect on his well being. In his own words,"I feel no different when I go to church than when I don't go to church."
What I fear is that if he rebels from church completely, then DW takes it out on me.
So I told him of the social implications of not going to church, the possibility of losing friends, etc., and that he has to weigh that out in the Sunday equation. It'll be interesting to see how this all plays out in the next few months/years.

My son is supposed to start seminary next year but he flat-out refuses to get up that early for early-morning seminary. I'm sure DH will blame me for that but really, if son wanted to go I'd get up and take him. However, seminary was of no use to me, even when I did believe and now that I don't, it seems even dumber. So I'm not at all motivated to change his mind, except DH will be mad at both of us. DH also thinks he'll make more friends in seminary, not realizing that son has made a number of non-LDS friends this year.

Your son is very smart - I wonder if more of the youth don't figure out there are problems with the church but are afraid to tell their parents or are silenced by their parents and so, carry on until their doubts are buried. Having a parent like you probably gave him the courage to know his own mind and trust his own reasoning. Pretty valuable gift to give your son IMO no matter what he decides. It will pay off sooner or later. Way to go. Hope it all works out for you in the end.

I hadn't realized that I didn't believe yet when my kids were in school and I thought it would at least give them enough info about the church that they could decide. In middle school (9th grade), seminary was okay and my kids really enjoyed it.

High school was a different story. I thought maybe it was just my kids--but the R.S. president came visiting teaching one day since my VT had no partner--and she had pulled her daughter out of seminary because of the attitudes of the teachers. The seminary had called her to come to talk to them about her daughter--and when she went to talk to them, they actually pretty much called her on the carpet because she was wearing jeans and looked like she dressed too modern. This woman is one of the nicest mormon women I know. She was so disturbed by the attitude, she pulled her child out.

We all agreed seminary in the 1970s and 1980s was a lot more fun--it was more of a break from school. Not so anymore. My son did quit going and we had to call and allow him to not attend any longer. My eventual TBM daughter also hated it.

Seminary in Utah these days is a good tool to either suck them in for good or send them running. All my kids' mormon friends ditched seminary.

I long for the day when people don't have to fear upsetting family and losing friends because they started using their brains in a good way. I'm still really glad another person has seen the light.

Back when I still went, I could look around the chapel, and pick out all the teenage boys that really didn't believe just by the looks on their faces. Sure enough, when the time came, they didn't serve missions. They all just bided their time until they were 18, and then they disappeared. IMO, making a teenager go to church when they don't want to go does more damage than good. Even if they are only rebelling for the sake of rebellion, their independance will show its colors sooner or later.

Using inspired quotes/statements I came up with a while ago when I was starting to figure out the HUGE difference between Mormonism and non-denominational Christianity and Life in general. The difference between unconditional Love, (aka non-denominational Christianity) v.s. conditional Love (aka Mormonism) With that said, I'd let him know that the way Mormons view Love, God and Christ are pretty messed up in comparison to how Christians view them. In a nut shell, the statement/quotes I wrote below sums it all up.


"Maturity is like a Caterpillar turning into a Butterfly. Once you've had a full mental, emotional, spiritual awakening, you see the world around you for what it really is. Living in a cocoon is a sure sign of immaturity, you live according to what you think or want the world to be around you. Everyone goes through transformations at their own time and pace. No one can be forced to change, they can only be encouraged".


"Love should NEVER be something you ASK for, EARN, or
PROVE. TRUE LOVE comes UNCONDITIONALLY, NATURALLY, FREE, and WILLINGLY.

TRUE LOVE, is like a GARDEN that needs regular CARE to GROW and FLOURISH.

Superficial love only puts DECORATIONS on, to make it APPEAR that person is being well taken care of.

It's CLEARLY easy to point out the DIFFERENCE. One can LAST for a LIFE TIME, while the OTHER eventually FADES AWAY".


"Religion" is a place you go, to conform to everyone elses ideals, While "Belief" is a special place reserved in your heart, mind and soul for that extra close relationship you have with God if you believe in him. I'll pick the Latter over the first any day, unless you can show me a church that "Thinks", "Knows", "Believes" and "Acts" in the same way with "Unconditional Love!"


"God gives us the gift of choice, while many people abuse the name of Jesus Christ to justify the reasons why they attempt to deceitfully control and manipulate others while giving poor excuses for their words and actions. A free man and woman tells the truth and hides behind no one and takes responsibility for their own actions. Everyone makes choices whether they choose to go to church and believe or not".


"When we abuse our position in life, The authorship becomes distorted, wears off and ineffective for both the writer and the reader. Don't allow others to treat you disrespectfully, speak up and discuss matters everyone can agree on, in the name of Peace and Justice".


"Fear and guilt are your only enemies. Love and awareness are your true friends. Do not confuse one with the other,for one will kill you, while the other gives you life."

~Neale Donald Walsch

... with another fairy tale.

Timothy

Agreed, experienceheals. It is a shame that many are never given the opportunity for comparison. Unconditional love is so much what it is all about. But for Mormons-no way....everything about their service, rights, etc. is conditional. If you do this....I'll reward you with Temple entrance....If you do this.....you will be given this calling and on and on. Not at all Christian.

experienceheals Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Maturity is like a Caterpillar turning into a
> Butterfly. Once you've had a full mental,
> emotional, spiritual awakening, you see the world
> around you for what it really is. Living in a
> cocoon is a sure sign of immaturity, you live
> according to what you think or want the world to
> be around you. Everyone goes through
> transformations at their own time and pace. No one
> can be forced to change, they can only be
> encouraged".
>

I love it! That's exactly right.

whoops! that was getting pretty close to political, i think i'll play it safe :(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2011 01:52AM by joesmyth.

Do you think he has talked about this with any friends? Would he be afraid to? Glad he wasn't afraid to bring it up with you. Best wishes. What a smart kid to realize Mormonism is just not as they say it is.

The discussion is good and necessary, but this boy needs validation for his excellent conclusion.

All of his friends are LDS, so I don't think he's talked to any of them about this. He's ADHD, so that tends to put off the non-LDS kids at school that don't know him that well. His best friend is also ADHD, but his Dad is very TBM. He does have one friend at school who is inactive LDS. I encouraged him to get to know the boy better, as he is a nice kid. While we do have a good relationship, I feel its important for him to have friends his age that he can relate to. He already feels like an outsider with most children because of his behavioral/learning differences.

He sounds like a very smart kid.
And he's very lucky/blessed to have you.

K

When I first heard that the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus weren't real my first thought was that Jesus and God were like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, except for adults.
I wondered if, as an adult in the future, someone would pull me aside and say, "Look, just so you know..."
Turns out I wasn't far from the truth after all.
More power to this kid - at least he has you to turn to.
I'm pretty sure I'll be virtually outcast by my family when/if I tell them I've decided it's a false religion (I'm 28yrs old).

are "figuring " out religion since january.


Are they getting these valuable insights from their peers, the Internet, or what?

All I can say is TSCC is losing the information battle with the youth of today.