I'll keep this brief, but I have been wondering.

Were any of you afraid of what dead relatives would think about your 'sinning' rather than god? Looking back, I find I was more concerned about my dead grandfather watching me 'sin' than god's resolve.

Yes, I was worried about what my much beloved Grandfather would think as he watched me through the ever so thin veil. I think that yes, it was more of a concern than what God would think. After all, I knew my Grandpa in person and we've all heard said that if we could see the spirit world we would know that it was all around us. Of course we all want to please God so that He doesn't hurt us, but having the loved ones despairing for our actions is a little more real.

It has made me wonder whether I actually believed in 'god.' while a believing mormon, as I always projected a deceased family member into god's position.

Absolutely. When my grandmother passed away in 1995 I was very concerned about her "seeing" my sin and moderate inactivity. I have since gotten over these feelings.

Yep--I could go into great detail given that I had 3 close relatives die in the past 2 years. I've not only worried about them seeing me sinning, BUT more of "do they know the truth now?" especially after going to mormon funerals.

BUT when I realized I didn't believe and I was back in the relationship with my boyfriend from 32 years ago--I worried a lot about those who went before.

I'm an adulteress--so imagine my level of sinning. In life, I think it would have killed my parents. I believe they are still around. Now in my own mind--I feel they understand. They certainly learned to understand why I left the church and came to accept it.

WhenI was younger never really had anyone I knew die in my family til
my early 20s.

It worriedmea little then i figured out they have a lot better things to do then peekat me whacking it to porn.

What bothered me was just random dead people watching lol
especially where I lived in Hamburg where dozens of people died in my apartments basement in43 and at night you could hear doors bamging andstuff moving in thebasement. But the interior and exterior basement accessdoors never opened

Absolutely. I'm the youngest of three sisters, and I was the only one baptized at age eight (the other two were also baptized, but at age 12 and 20 even though they attended LDS church all through childhood). The main reason I chose to be baptized then was that my grandma had passed on the year before, and all my relatives told me how happy she would have been to see me baptized.

It has always been that way for me.

Had a good friend die of cancer when we were in the 8th grade. When I felt guilty for playing with my little factory, I was more concerned about letting him or my grandfather down. I used to even visit the cemetery my Grandpa was buried at to pray.

After my father-in-law died, he bacame the one I thought about as I wanted to live a good life for his daughter.

This is why I felt a connection to the Catholics on my mission to Spain. It felt OK to pray to a saint that had a closer connection to your particular issues.