A love bomb letter from my mother in law (didn't rhyme with see.)

How fortuitous after my shitty shitty day.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,107964,108066#msg-108066

MIL decided that it was time to council us on how to come back to the sweet embrace of the Church of Cheese and Rice of Rattle Dee Snakes.

This letter of course isn't by any means fucking original. In fact you probably can read it off in your mind before I even place pieces of it so generously before you.

Now MIL is going to get a pass on this one because I can't just take out my entire day on her and her bad timing. But this board only encourages bad timing for this kind of horse shit. So I will share my rebuttal with y'all instead of her.

Here are some of the...juicier nuggets? slimier turds?

"I know that you are struggling with matters that are based upon faith and certainly there is a lot in the world that can destroy faith."

No shit MIL, and I actually agree with that last part, but it begs the question 'why?' Well, because 'faith' is ridiculous. What value is faith if it can be destroyed by basic literacy and logic for first graders?

"So here is my question for you: How long has it been since you've read the Book of Mormon?"

This is a predictable question but MIL really doesn't want the answer to this because the answer is in two parts. Yes, I actually did read it quite recently, and I know where you're going with this question and reading the Book of Mormon again actually strengthened my "anti-testimony." Why? Because that book sucks dick. And not just any dick, but syphilitic horse dick.

"I'm asking (she really meant axing) you with all the love in my heart to please give the things of the spirit an equal chance to work in you against the 'philosophies of men.'"

Yes, this sentence could be used to write a doctrinal thesis on "The true meaning of Fucktard," but we'll just keep it to this: I gave those 'things of spirit' 20+ goddamn years and yeah they actually work against 'philosophies of men' in physical often painful ways. You take stupid and let it swirl in a person with smart for long enough and you get PTSD. Normally PTSD takes getting shot at or raped, but well, you fill a rational human being up with stupid enough and you get those same results. So, sorry I'm going to spend the next 20+ years trying to flush all of that stupid out of me.

"I am confident that if you will do this (reading the BoM) with a sincere heart you will once again gain confidence in a loving Heavenly Father and in the gospel of Jesus Christ restored."

For those of you who haven't read about the 'double-bind' this is that principle in action. I have to read with a sincere heart. So, if I read that shitfest book and don't get the confidence in sky pappy and his twat of a son, guess whose fault that is?....That's right. It's mine because I didn't have a "sincere heart." But the "sincere heart" would probably already mean that I already believed. So....guess I'm just fucked. Oh, well what else is new?

"I know that ALL the answers to ALL the questions will be answered as we study, have faith, and wait patiently."

There is no curse in the tongues of men, orcs, or ents that accurately describe the verbal reaction to this sentence. But the physical reaction is as if your brain left your skull, punched you in the nuts and said, "fuck you, I'm out," and then left forever.

Wow, what perfect timing. I say shoot at will.

Who knew as a kid singing primary songs that being part of a cult would suck so bad?

How lucky people are that have never had anything to do with a cult.

Great timing on her part with the letter. Must have felt the spirit telling her than now is the time.

RJ, I know you're having a bad day and all but the book of mormon can't suck dick like you suggest... syphilitic horse dick is an anachronism.

Seriously. The BOM sucks tapir dick. Duh.

Somehow I doubt MIL would get the joke though.

You're much nicer than I would be, Rap. Since Mormons peg EVERYONE ELSE as insincere I don't feel as if I need to be subtle in my responses. If I were you , I would turn the tables as say, "No, Mom, YOU'RE the one who has not asked the question with a sincere heart, because if you are TRUELY sincere and not just looking to confirm your own prejudices, then you must consider that it may be false before you ask the question. Besides, if I can argue both sides of the issue (mine and yours), and you can ONLY argue your own side and only with GREAT restrictions on the debate, who is being honest and who has a sincere heart?"

"...can argue both sides.." Bingo! The very few times dh has "allowed" me to talk anti,he seemed to forget I had been a member 57 years. And my 27 year old dd is always trying to tell me something she swears is correct and wonderful about her church.Like how much money the church donates. I broke it down for her at Christmas at it made the mormons look pretty bad.

It always seems that way to me. There is no arguing with their "logic." I had a good friend ask me to read the BofM again and I said I would--as I'm not in the least bit worried. I have NO DOUBT I've read it many more times than she ever has. She also told me I was being influenced by satan. We've made peace since . . .

Not like her life is great either.

I do take note (and my ex and I were talking about this tonight)--the cards were all set up for the falling out of our lives and we went inactive so that it wouldn't be for public consumption and then for years we've been used as the example of what happens to your lives when you go inactive--NOT the fact that they set us up . . .

I'm sorry you have PTSD to do with mormonism. So do I. It can blindside you when you least expect it.

...cuz I have a new scripture mastery list.

2Ne5:21 "...sore cursing...skin of blackness"
Jac3:5 "...cursing which hath come upon their skins..."
Alma3:6 "...the skins of the Lamanites were dark...which was a curse..."
3Ne2:15 "...curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites..."

1Ne14:10 "And he said unto me: Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil; wherefore, whoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church, which is the mother of abominations; and she is the whore of all the earth."

2Ne10:16 "Wherefore, he that fighteth against Zion, both Jew and Gentile, both bond and free, both male and female, shall perish; for they are they who are the whore of all the earth; for they who are not for me are against me, saith our God."

Actually, beyond a bunch of absurd verses, the thing that maybe matters to a TBM is that I was a chapter-a-day TBM until the VERY HOUR that my testimony collapsed. I had, in fact, read my chapter THAT DAY, and the strain of having a double-standard simply snapped.

Wow...just.....wow.

I give it a year, and I'll be getting something similar from MY MIL. Of course, it will probably be a bit more narcissistic...because anything my spouse and I do is to hurt her, right?


You have my deepest sympathies. And you're right, that is icing on the cake.

and what she said (two things) after she found out her son is gay and had abandoned me and the 2 grandkids.

FIRST--she wanted to send me pictures of Jesus to put in each room of the house as she was sure we had a bad spirit in our home . . . (I actually had 4 pictures of Jesus in the house at the time).

THEN she asked me if her son was smoking and drinking. I said, "No" and she said, "Oh good."

Those MILs are SOMETHING. Mine did many more things until I cut her out of my life.

Oh, gosh, c12...Yeesh!

The big showdown for us will be in part because it means that for all her ultra hard work and pressure, she will now be at an only 25% success rate with her children--only one daughter left in the church. You'd think with her working so hard to do every last detail right, the stats would be better...

You don't have to respond, of course.

But if you do, it could be something like.

"Mother-in-Law Dearest:

Please stop with the church stuff immediately. My religious beliefs are a very individual things, and they came from MY experiences and understanding. You had a different experience.

I'm not asking you to approve of them, but to respect my right as an individual to actually hold my own thoughts and beliefs, without being continually badgered to change them.

I am NOT going to go back to the LDS church. Your continued attempts to change me will only damage our relationship, and I will have to minimize contact if that is to be the sum of our interactions.

In the future, please keep your judgements, suggestions, scripture quotes, criticisms, and testimony to yourself."

-RJ


p.s., I have also found that giving them a blunt summary of what I think about their topic has a way of discouraging them from bringing it up again.

or Lies into Truth?

Anagrammy

PS- For therapy, after the week you've had, I recommend a minimum of five renditions of the Facebook Song listened to with a margarita and a guitar-playing friend.

that you used raptor, so colorful. I am with you all the way, you just put it in such a visual way that it is much more fun than what I would reply with.

But I would go with Tapir dick, after all, it is the BoM, and we all know there were no horses. Must have been some bigA$$ tapir tough.

My Mother really does have the worst timing in the world! Of all the days/weeks/months since I came out as an exmo to her. She just had to be 'prompted' to write and send a letter like this now? It felt just like salt in the wound when I read this today.

But, I guess lucky her. We're too busy dealing with much more important things right now to start up a shit storm over this. And honestly, if I called her up now, she'd just tell me that RJ's current struggles are the Lord's way of telling us we need him & his 'religion' back in our life. Well fuck him & fuck her too!!! Good God what a shitty mc shit shit day!!

Mrs RJ



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2011 02:34AM by mrsraptorjesus.

...and ask her to read, with a sincere heart, 'Dianetics' and ask the e-meter if these things are not true, the Lord Xenu will manifest the truthfulness of The Church of Scientology to her.

That will be $500 please, or The Church will sue you.

And I testify to you, dear RaptorJesus, that if you watch the Rocky II movie, your bosom will burn with a testimony when Rocky yells: "Yo, Adrian! I did it!". BofM be damned, Rocky is TRUE!

Just sayin'...

Ron

This is just the shit icing on top of the giant turd that was your day. I hate letters, they are just a chickenshit way to not have to look someone in the eye while they say something really awful. I hope things get better really soon, like today. :)