Since next Tuesday I will also celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary with my forever girlfriend, I thought I would reflect on the past 5 years since leaving TSCC.

DW and I are doing excellent. We have navigated the marital challenges associated with one party member changing teams in the middle of the game. My DW fortunately saw the light a few months after me and we were able to leave together, on our wedding anniversary 5 years ago. We are learning to appreciate wine and other spirits. ;-) My motto is "liquor is cheaper than tithing!"

Our children have had a challenging time. Some have weathered things well while others have struggled to redefine themselves after being yanked from the comforting structure of religion. Overall I would give them all a B for a grade. Perhaps one has an A while another has a C+!

With such a large extended family, we have experienced the full range of responses. I chose to be very open about my leaving the church while my DW was less open. My parents have agreed to disagree and seem to be accepting and comfortable around us. My in-laws are getting better but still seem very uneasy around us. They also occassionally will drop the "love bomb" comments with good intentions but very annoying.

Our siblings are a mixed batch as well. One of my brothers left 6 months after I did. The other 2 are active members. My wife has a 3 sisters who are very inactive but still members and 3 who are very active. I do notice that the active member siblings interact with us less. (Note: none of our siblings live closer than 4 hours or even in the same state.)

Overall we are a blissfully happy exmo family! Again thanks to my RfM family for the support over the past 5+ years since I found out I was "not alone"! Peace out!

Adam

Happy double anniversary.

I remember you from the 2006 date attached to your moniker. DH & I also left in 2006. We are still married, but our story doesn't have the same positive ring as yours.

After the blissful reading and discovering together all the info. TSCC had strategically omitted, I began to question what DH & I had in common besides the religion that first brought us together (?). In many ways I am so grateful to have gone through that earth shattering experience with someone who had also lived his whole life as a Mo and understands the strange social reactions. On the other hand, priesthood patriarchy and traditional roles run deep in you males and I feel a little trapped. Instead of feeling like our marriage is Great, I constantly tell myself, "it could be worse" when I feel completely neglected. After feeling invisible, I had an affair which lasted one year. He miraculously forgave me.

Our oldest child was barely six when we left in '06, and the others were age three and newborn. Those mind numbing Sundays enduring three hour church and "sit still" primary are memories that barely exist for them. Both our family relationships are forever strained. My parents in particular are full of shame and blame. (They do not know about the affair). We thankfully live far away from their home in Zion, but from afar, via phone, e-mail, and the occasional in-person visit, we are scrutinized for every word we utter, every morsel of food that is eaten, and for me especially, the clothes I wear (especially bare shoulders in the hot summer *gasp*). Sadly, they seem to want us to be unhappy to make us a model example of the reasons why you shouldn't leave the church. For the sake of my children having grandparents, I salvaged any semblance of a relationship with them. Five years later however, it is abundantly clear that they will never love or accept me/us. I grow tired of all the gossip, backstabbing, and condescension. I basically want these enemies, masquerading as concerned family members out of my life. So much for putting "Family First."