Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: Previous•Next
Go to: Forum List•Message List•New Topic•Search•Log In
Posted by: anon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 01:28AM
Joseph Smith taught what to do if angles appear to you

"When a messenger comes from God, offer him your hand and request him to shake hands with you. If he be an angel he will do so, and you will feel his hand. If he be the spirit of a just man made perfect he will come in his glory; for that is the only way he can appear—Ask him to shake hands with you, but he will not move, because it is contrary to the order of heaven for a just man to deceive; but he will deliver his message. If it be the devil as an angel of light, when you ask him to shake hands he will offer you his hand, and you will not feel anything; you may therefore detect him. These are three grand keys whereby you may know whether any administration is from God."

I'd rather have a trunk monkey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMarOunalow

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: SL Cabbie ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 01:39AM
If Angles Appear to Me...

And I have a straight edge and a compass, I can bisect them, but I cannot trisect them...

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Thread Killer ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:00AM
What a-cute thread! N/T

:-)

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Strykary ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 10:08AM
Dunno about you Cabbie

But when angles appear to me, I've got to put the pipe down. >.<

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 01:41AM
I'm fairly obtuse about such things. (n/t)


Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Anton ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 01:50AM
Rather oblique in his approach, wouldn't you say? (n/t)


Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: David Ferry ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 07:31AM
Triangulated cross-fire. That's the key, that's the key! (n/t)


Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: SL Cabbie ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 10:50AM
As Far as the Ladies Went, Joseph Knew All the Angles...

And the curves as well...

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Goofy ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 01:54AM
Re: Joseph Smith taught what to do if angles appear to you

Yes, I remember hearing this growing up in the church. I committed it to memory so if I ever saw an evil spirit I would know to ask to shake his hand.

LOL!

Sounds so ridiculously stupid now. Can't believe I ever fell for all that sh*t.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: T-Rex ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 02:13AM
How I would make my own test

When a messenger comes from God, attempt to kick him mightily in the balls. If he be an angel, you will make contact with his balls and the Angel will keel over in pain but give you thanks. If he be the spirit of a just man made perfect he will come in his glory; for that is the only way he can appear—your foot will move through him as a ghost but he will not move, because it is contrary to the order of heaven for a just man to be insulted; If it be the devil as an angel of light, when you kick him in the balls, your foot will will not feel anything; you may therefore detect him because the devil will curse at you thusly, "Who the hell do you think you are kicking me in the balls. Asshole." Through his vulgarity, you will know him to not be an angel or a just man."

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: chiefluma ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 04:21AM
Re: How I would make my own test

LOL, ok you made my night!

Funny as hell! (get it!) nevermind!

BTW I agree with this, how the hell OLD JOE would say this, did he make it up or did a REAL angel come to him, NOT! He made this crap up period.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: ipseego ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 07:26AM
Re: Joseph Smith taught what to do if angles appear to you

It's a pity that Smith revealed this secret to men, because now even Satan can read and know it. So of course today Satan doesn't give you his hand, but he behaves like the spirit of a just man. He does that do deceive you.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: JoD3:360 ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 08:30AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

I can't seem to find the source any more, but I recall reading some quote of his.

Anyway, I wonder if the popular pictures of him as blond haired blue eyed... nah, couldn't be.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: ExMormonRon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:01AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

"There have also been ministering angels in the Church which were of Satan appearing as an angel of light. A sister in the state of New York had a vision, who said it was told her that if she would go to a certain place in the woods, and angel would appear to her. She went at the appointed time, and saw a glorious personage descending, arrayed in white, with sandy colored hair; he commenced and told her to fear God, and said that her husband was called to do great things, but that he must not go more than one hundred miles from home, or he would not return; whereas God had called him to go to the ends of the earth, and he has since been more than one thousand miles from home, and is yet alive. Many true things were spoken by this personage, and many things that were false. How, it may be asked, was this known to be a bad angel? By the color of his hair; that is one of the signs that he can be known by, and by his contradicting a former revelation." (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith)


And there you have it.

Ron

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Jon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:53AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

'contradicting a former revelation' hmmm...

Blacks and the Priesthood, Polygamy...

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: anon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:01AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Volume V, B. H. Roberts, page 267

http://books.google.com/books?id=gXXZAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA267&dq=%22When+a+messenger+comes+from+God,+offer+him+your+hand+and+request+him+to+shake+hands+with+you.%22&hl=en&ei=lO5TTfvPCIH6lwec3pitCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&ved=0CEoQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q&f=false

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: anon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:04AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

Sorry JoD3:360, I gave the wrong reference for blond hair spirits, can't find it either.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: ExMormonRon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:50AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

I gave it to you right above.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: anon ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 10:13AM
Re: Joseph also said that evil spirits tend to have blond or sandy hair

I saw it ExMormonRon. Thanks. We were posting at the same time and you cleared leather first.

Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: bignevermo ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 09:09AM
IS THAT ANGLOS? or angels?? :) (n/t)


Options: Reply•Quote
Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: February 10, 2011 11:04AM
Re: IS THAT ANGLOS? or angels?? :)

If ANGLOS appear, you know they are just men made perfect, because their skin is white. if their skin is dark, they are agents of the devil, for lo, the curse of blackness has come upon them.

Options: Reply•Quote
Go to Topic: Previous•Next
Go to: Forum List•Message List•New Topic•Search•Log In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 ********  **     **  ********  **    **  **     ** 
 **        ***   ***  **    **   **  **   **     ** 
 **        **** ****      **      ****    **     ** 
 ******    ** *** **     **        **     **     ** 
 **        **     **    **         **      **   **  
 **        **     **    **         **       ** **   
 ********  **     **    **         **        ***