Much of that talk, if given in 1977, would "justify" the church's racist doctrines and practices of the day. I don't like taking things out of context, or comparing sexuality to race too much. But it's hard to ignore in this case.

Also, I briefly discussed the talk with my sister who remains married to a homosexual man. Both of them treasure their church membership, but their marriage clearly suffers from the fact that he is homosexual, but closeted.

Her first response was something like, "you know, people have to choose. By taking a clear stand on this issue, the church is giving gay people a chance to make a choice."

I know I made my choice. Run away. Run as fast as you can, as far as you can from that institution.

That means that they will respect any choices that people make, right? Hmm.. wrong. So, it's not really a choice in their minds.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2010 01:20PM by Makurosu.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2010 01:23PM by maria.

So let gays marry now (free agency) and suffer later. And let the mormons stay out of state domestic laws.

I wrote a poem about the whole ordeal. I also bring the polygamy thing into it. They're banking on the fact that years down the road this will all be forgotten. They'll eventually just modify their history and this talk won't exist. It's disgusting.

http://beccabek.blogspot.com/

It's funny how often we choose to judge people we don't understand, when we could choose to show them compassion, understanding, caring, sympathy, love . . .

Duder,

I feel for your sister and BIL, and anyone in their position. I have an ex SIL in the same type of situation--though she is lesbian and her husband is very suppressed sexually, so I "guess" it works for them????? They are in their 60s now, so . . . I was amazed at how much she knows about the church, but because of her "spiritual" experiences, she can't deny it (she says). I'm sure we all had those spiritual experiences--I certainly did (and have continued to since I left the church--I call them intuition or whatever).

I believe that your sister and BIL should have the right to stay married if that is what they choose (I really would have stayed with my ex forever, mormon or not--because I had children with him and we do really care about each other--but I allowed him to cheat all he wanted--he even had boyfriends). BUT I think what some of them fail to recognize is that they should have CHOICES and not just feel TRAPPED. AND I will defend their right to stay married as much as I will defend anyone's right to not marry.

I think that is where the still believing gays get lost. We have many friends who are still married. There is a high price to pay either way--leaving the marriage or staying. There are days I wish our marriage had never fallen apart because the damage has been so great . . . but then there are most days when I'm just so relieved to be where we are now.

I feel for your sister and BIL. There are no easy answers for them.

What I would aim for though is that no gay feels they have to marry someone straight--maybe some are happier. It all comes down to being able to have RIGHTS.

May I ask how old your sister is? Did she know when she married him?

It really is all such a mess--

He has never really admitted anything about his past or himself to her. He tried to be straight, but he's one of those guys who gives credence to the idea of gaydar.

They've been married nearly 20 years - mostly for the sake of the children. But she claims that she is committed to him, and will continue to love him no matter what he chooses.

They've gone for years without any intimacy at all.