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Posted by: anon ( )
Date: September 18, 2010 08:31AM

am certainly not complaining- just relaying my unique experience. I was first introduced to the Mormon church about a year ago after the missionaries knocked on my door, I let them in, and became intrigued with what they were teaching. I eventually went to church, and unlike what many of you write, people were not friendly to me at all. No one even said hello. I went back a second week and remember clearly saying hello to someone, and that person stared at me and turned the other way without responding. I had never been in a place where people were so rude! I quickly also learned I was quite the misfit being a 30 year old single, career driven female with two master’s degrees. I stopped going to the church and was honest with the missionaries. They apologized, continued visiting, and I expected people from the church to start their “love bombing” to no avail. Again- not complaining- just stating a fact! The missionaries continued visiting for about a month and then stopped.
About 6 months later, the missionaries showed up again and invited me to church. I told them about my experiences before. They continued to come, and I was shocked they never brought anyone from the ward with them. One, I knew they should not be visiting with me, a female lone. Secondly, I knew they were well trained in addressing investigators’ concerns, and since my number one concern was not feeling like I fit in with people at the ward, I thought the obvious step would be for them to introduce me to others. But, they didn’t. Yet, I foolishly agreed to visit the church again. Although people would say hello, after 4 weeks, I still did not know anyone’s name nor did I have a “real” conversation with anyone. I found myself in the hospital for two days, and although the missionaries called, no one from the church did. I obviously quit going to the church because it was important for me to be a part of a church with people who I could call my friends. Needless to say, no one from the church bothered me when I suddenly quit going.
Again, I am not complaining. I just am still so surprised how different my experience was compared to what is often described on this board. I did not find anyone friendly. Thankfully, I was not harassed. In fact, the missionaries were so respectful when I told them I would not be coming back to church and I thought it was not in anyone’s best interest of time to continue meeting. They did call about 3 weeks later to see if they could stop by for a quick visit but quickly stated in their phone call they did not want to talk about church- just to say hello. . .and they stuck to this agenda, and although they asked if they could stop by again, it’s been 3 weeks even since that visit--- definitely not harassment. I don’t really care what people from this cult think nor do I need to gain my identify from them. It does make me wonder, though, why they weren’t “after” me!!

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 18, 2010 08:49AM

Better to move on and seek out real friends than to be manipulated by fake cultish ones, such as those missionaries. They're just following directives and working to impress their church leaders. You and your needs are secondary.

Perhaps you could check out clubs and interest groups in your area. Talk to your neighbors. Invite someone over for coffee. Instant friends? There's no such thing. Friendship takes time and effort.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: September 18, 2010 09:48AM

If bet if you'd been part of a married couple, with 6 children, it would have been a completely different deal. They'd have dollars signs in their eyes, seeing all the tithing dollars they could get from 8 new members.

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Posted by: Katrina ( )
Date: September 18, 2010 10:30AM

Yeah, I think the members are much more "welcoming" to people with kids than singles, although there are exceptions.

The last time I went to the Mormon church, I was a single mother with kids when I realized that people were basically rude and not very nice to me (with the exception of one other single Mom with kids), and I had been a member since birth! I had a career and really felt out of place there. Never fit in!

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