Temple Marriage. Here's why. Mormonism takes a very powerful human emotion - the desire to protect your loved ones and keep them safe and with you always - and uses it to manipulate people without concern for the damage they cause.

* It is a way to extort 10 percent of people's income plus some, as well as time, talent and devotion, with no concern for the well-being of the members. If it leaves you short of money or time with your family, well, that's what sacrifice is all about.

* It's a way to shun people who don't knuckle under a pay up. It doesn't matter that a daddy can't go to his daughter's wedding because it's his fault for not paying his blood money.

* They teach that temple marriage is the important thing - with not nearly as much emphasis on WHO you are marrying. I've lost count of how many of my LDS friends are clearly emotionally starved because they cared more about marrying an RM or a Molly Mo than a soul-mate and a best friend. They thought if they could just keep it in their pants long enough to take some TBM to the temple, their problems were solved and their happiness would be eternal. Then, years later, they found they had nothing in common with their spouse but the church and no way to get out of the marriage...not bad enough to leave but no good reason to stay.

* It causes incredible pain to many older Mormons when their kids "stray" and are "lost". This pain is almost entirely because of the teaching of eternal families. In other families, children have more leeway to be themselves and still have a place in the family. In a Mormon family, if the child isn't exactly what Mormonism says it should be, the parents are expected to feel pain and disappointment because of it.

For these reasons and probably many more, I vote that the message of eternal families is the most damaging teaching in Mormonism. Most religions believe you'll be with your loved ones after you die - trust Mormonism to twist this teaching into a weapon, all the sharper because of the very sensitive area the knife is aimed at.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2011 11:00AM by CA girl.

You make some very good points. Eternal marriage can certainly be used as a control device.

Don't marry another mormon in the temple? You're eternally screwed. Don't pay your tithing to get there? You're eternally screwed. Find out you married too young, are incompatible, and should get a healthy divorce? You're eternally screwed! Still a tbm who faithfully believes in eternal marriage but cannot stand living with your spouse? But, you are majorly screwed!

I'd also like to add to the list: the one true church philosophy...it seems to do the most harm to those outside the faith.

This really inhibits Mormons from thinking and being open-minded. If the church is the only true church and by extension all its doctrines are the absolute truth, why should I need to use any critical thinking skills? "Why should I even listen to what someone else had to say about abortion or gay marriage? Their religion or their viewpoint is certainly flawed. I have all the truth I need already. "

"Beware of the philosophies of men. All I need to do is shut off my brain and follow the prophet. My role in life is to share my conclusions with others without detailing how I came to those conclusions our testing the conclusions against the ideas of others. Why test what is already true? Why even consider whether what you were taught was false?"

This philosophy really affects how Mormons treat "non-mormons.", especially in Utah. It also gives them free reign to impose their values and beliefs on others.

. . .



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2011 01:12PM by cl2.

The guys were raving about their temple weddings as part of the HP group lesson a couple of months ago. The group leader asked me about my experience. I had written this out previously and read it to the quorum:

“I am one of those unthinking kids who broke my parents heart.

I was 27 when DW-to-be and I were sealed in the LA Temple. I was brand-new in the church, one year to the day from my baptism. I did what DW-to-be told me and showed up at the appointed time.

I tried to make my parents understand why a mormon wedding was different from what they were expecting, but as a newbie, I just barely knew myself. I had my parents read section 132, which makes little sense even when you know what it says. I tried to explain what was going to happen that day. I know it didn’t make any sense to them, but they smiled and said okay.

In retrospect I should have found someone better than me to explain the whole thing to them. I should have arranged for someone to drive them the 90 minutes to Los Angeles and “babysit” them while we were inside. We had a lame ring exchange that we pulled together at the last second. My parents saw through that in a second, but smiled bravely.

Years later, when our son was sealed, my parents flew 2000 miles again. We were talking about the sealing plans and I told them it would be pretty much the same situation. I acknowledged that I had handled things very badly for my wedding and apologized as best I could. My parents smiled and agreed that I handled it badly and stayed in town while we went to Los Angeles.

My wedding day was a lot less than it could have been because I was oblivious to my parents feelings.

I suggest that many other parents of converts have broken hearts because their children were as oblivious as I was and didn’t think through the situation and how it was going to affect other people.

Thirty years later my heart breaks every time I think of the way I treated my parents. “

Needless to say, we all paused for a very, very long moment of reflection, and then the lesson careened off in another direction.

I dreaded my wedding day... I knew how much it would hurt my family, and I really wanted them there. I demanded that the ring ceremony be a major aspect of the day (which thankfully it was) and tried to limit the number of guests to the sealing to only those that were really close (If the people I wanted to be there the most couldn't come I would be damned if I let cousins and aquantences show up).
I hated that part of my wedding day. I had one friend in the sealing room, the rest were all STBXW's (Soon to be ex-wife) friends and family. I had never seen a mormon wedding before that day (had only been endowed for 2 weeks by that point), felt uncomfortable in my robes. Before the sealing I had to go to the bathroom really bad, so I went, trying will all my heart to avoid peeing on my apron, and while I was washing up I looked in the mirror and thought "I look like a fool", not at all how I imagined the day to be.
When I would think of the "wedding" I never thought about the sealing, I would think about the ring ceremony and reception on the beach in Oregon. Dressed like a normal person, surrounded by friends and family... that is such a happy memory, the temple is not place of happy memories for me... Maybe I was never as mormon as I thought I was...

My convert DD married in the LDS temple. Like Rutabaga, she was oblivious to the hurt she was causing her family. She now regrets her decision and I am further saddened knowing that when she remembers her wedding day part of that memory includes knowing how hurt we were.

We were like Rutabaga's family. Because we love our DD and SIL we set aside our hurt, put smiles on our faces, and were as gracious as we could find it in our hearts to be. We still keep silent about mormonism because maintaining a positive relationship is more important than being right.

TSCC's greatest weapon is the love we have for our family.

I was in Sunday School Bible Class and the 'teacher' asked members to give testimonies of the blessings of tithing.

One young mother responded that she makes sure she pays her tithe so she is not 'seperated' from her family eternally !?!?!?!

I thought Holy Cr*p! Did I really just hear that!?!??! I looked round the class to see if anyone else noticed! lol

Then she said that tithing does also bring financial rewards because one time after she paid her tithe, she got a sudden suprise refund on one of her utility bills (having been overcharged prior!!!)


I didn't last too long after that mind numbing nonsensical session.


The next part is also very distressing:

* It causes incredible pain to many older Mormons when their kids "stray" and are "lost".

I think the older people with stray children (LDS church wise)work much harder and are even more vulnerable thinking somehow that their extra efforts will make up for the inactive children! In my Ward I asked the older members about straying children and one response I got was 'If we obey and keep great faith then our children may be reconciled eternally with us in the next life if not in this one'.

At the same time some seem to fear they might not have been good enough or done enough to get into CK themselves!

Mormonism is all over the map!
“'If we obey and keep great faith then our children may be reconciled eternally with us in the next life if not in this one'.”

Heeeellllllloooo! What was that article of faith that touts the fundamental beliefs of LDS members that covers this subject? Something about “we are not responsible for Adams transgressions but only our own”. This article of faith negates the ridiculous and guilt inducing logic that gets propagated by unthinking people who are drowning in their heavenly delusions.

IMHO, the parents are also concerned about them straying. I'm sure this thought process goes through their head. "What did we do wrong? We made sure she went to church, no matter what. Nothing interfered Sundays. She went to seminary. etc. etc.

They think forcing children will make them conform, when it will do the exact opposite. It's two sides of a magnet, the more you push them together, the more they resist each other.

Agree - and here's another reason why it's so damaging: once you're sealed, you can't get unsealed, even when you get sealed again (if you're a man, that is).

SP says I'm still sealed to my ex-wife, and I can't get it cancelled. I can get it cleared, if my wife and I want to get sealed - but then I'm sealed to two women, and Rebecca doesn't like that idea ... neither do I.

How is that teaching conducive to eternal families? Well, if you believe in eternal polygamy, then it sits just fine with you.

I think the most damaging teaching of mormonism is the same as all other religions.......they teach you that you have no power within yourself and must get your strength, power, forgiveness, family, etc...only through them....the church/religion.

A soon as you accept that teaching, and you must accept that first...before temple marriage, before tithing, before believing you are a god in embryo, etc....they have you...and it only gets worse from there.

That teaching is the edge of the cliff in my opinion...step off and your going to fall.