I woke up this morn with the light shining in my brain regarding an episode that I just couldn't figure out until reading posts on this board.

I used to live in a little Utah town not too far from my current town of Moab, and I briefly met this woman there (her house was for sale and I looked at it), then I moved back to Colorado, and her husband died shortly thereafter. I called her to see if the house had sold and to wish her well, and we got to talking about where I was living (Ouray) and she wanted to come over, saying it would be good for her mental space.

So, she came over and had her daughter and son and his gf with her (all in their 20s). I had emailed her the names of several motels, so in no way did I make them think my house was up for grabs, I barely knew them. Next thing I knew, I was in the middle of the weirdest drama, which I won't go into, but I will just say it involved them wanting to use my beautiful log cabin (a rental) as a base camp - huge boundary issues. It was like they tried to take over my house and in the meantime they were very disdainful of me, treating me like an inferior.

I quickly shut it down and never saw or talked to her again, but it left me feeling like a jerk, as I had to be hugely assertive to get my point across - no, you're not sleeping in my bed while I take the couch, you are not inviting your friends from Utah over to stay here, etc. etc.

I was kind of shocked by their behavior, but now I see the light, as I recently found out they are Mos, and after reading about how Mos have boundary issues like that and think they're superior to us heathens, it all made sense.

Disgusting manners, never again.

Even as a mo I would not pull such shenanigans. Believe me, the gentile world is full of nut cases, narcissists and users too.

These people had huge issues and like derrida said--the gentile world is full of nut cases, too.

OK, maybe I'm being prejudiced by saying it's because they are Mos, I will grant that. I've just never had anyone do this kind of thing and that was the only explanation I could come up with, but maybe she was just a narcissist.

and I've lived in Utah ALL MY LIFE and I'm 53.

having recently been widowed. Her behavior was totally out of line, of course, but desperate people will do desperate things.

My guess is that she probably used people for her benefit long before her financial issues hit.

My mom had a "friend" like that in her life -- not as extreme, but still the same type. The friend didn't own a car, even though her husband was a highly paid professional. So my mom, and her other pals had to chauffer her everywhere. Did she ever chip in for gas or tolls? Not if she could possibly help it. She was the sort who would suggest that you no longer had a good use for one of your possessions, therefore she would do you the favor of taking it off your hands (particularly if the posession had some value.) Just a very, very cheap individual who used people. My mom's friends were better at standing up to her than my mom was.

Years later, my mom's friend was living a very comfortable retirement down in Florida while my mom was struggling. My POV is that the comfortable retirement came at the expense of my mom and others.

Some people are takers and will walk all over you if you let them do it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2011 02:50PM by summer.

Not all Mos are like that, but I've known a few.

That sounds like the kind of thing my husband's TBM ex wife does... however, she did those kinds of tacky things even before she and my husband converted. I bet she does them even more often now.

In 2004, TBM ex invited herself, her current husband, and her kids from three marriages to my in laws' home for Christmas. She expected my husband and me to show up and stay in a hotel while she and her husband stayed with my father in law and his wife. I did not choose to attend that disastrous little shindig. My husband went, just so he could see his daughters (as it turned out, for the last time).

While TBM ex stayed at the in laws' house, she allowed the kids to run amok in their home. Instead of helping my stepmother in law with the festivities, she parked her substantial ass in front of SMIL's computer and surfed the Net all day. She also allowed her son to download stuff on my SMIL's computer.

When TBM ex could be bothered to talk to SMIL, a devout Catholic, she basically told her that Catholicism was a bunch of BS. Meanwhile, her husband treated my husband like crap and refused to let him have any time with his daughters. I'm so glad I opted out of that fiasco and stayed home. I'm not sure I could have maintained an even keel.

My husband's ex wife is also fond of loading up the car and showing up on peoples' doorsteps unannounced. She did that to my father in law and his wife, too. She packed up my husband's daughters and just showed up uninvited at their house in Tennessee, having driven all the way from Arizona. They were on their way to Florida, where ex was supposedly being interviewed for a job. The in laws sucked it up and put up with it because they knew if they didn't, she wouldn't let them see their grandchildren. In fact, she has since forced my husband's daughters to cut off contact with them, too, even though the in laws generally went along with whatever crazy BS the ex came up with.

I think people like that are just narcissists who think nothing of engaging in outrageous behavior. I don't think Mormons corner the market on narcissists or narcissistic behavior, but I do think that the religion can be attractive to narcissistic people who have a need to be told they're somehow "special" and above others.

I'm not sure how I would have handled the situation you describe. It sounds very unpleasant and uncomfortable... and yes, very weird.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2011 02:02PM by knotheadusc.

met anyone with that kind of behavior.

Sounds like they were well practiced criminal minded cons and probably pulled off their scam on others before you and after you.

Glad you stood your ground, and got rid of them. These people could have been very dangerous.