A few years ago, I made an appointment to see my SP. I was smart enough to bring a "member" friend with me. At first, he tried to make her sit OUT of our meeting...I insisted she sit IN.

The SP is a medical doctor. While I told him what was happening in our home...that my TBM husband was physically hurting/hitting/beating all of us (me and my 3 little boys)...he listened patiently. I, then, pulled out of my purse several pictures of my children that included stiches on their faces, staples (done in the ER) to the side of one son's head from being slammed into a wooden table, and other marks and bruises.

The man was completely stone-faced. Both my friend and I exchanged quick glances at each other that without words meant...what the hell!!! He never made any comment, just handed me back the pictures. Both he and the effed up bishop supported my TBM husband 100% -- they even paid his rent and gave him food and paid his bills...all while he used his "other" money to drag me through the court system to fight for custody of our children. I was never offered anything...you may already know, I never asked for anything!

I am now divorced from that man and have sole custody of our children. My children (at this time are safe). The child that received the most severe beatings is now in a type of mental institution for his behaviors. He is 8-years-old.

If I even believed in a Hell those men would be shoveling human feces for life!!!! [And, they would have to do it with their HANDS...not a shovel!!!]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:43PM by Susan I/S.

Letting him know that you consider him as much of and abuser as your ex for aiding him while dening you any emotional or financial support and that by supporting your ex, allowed him the financial means to futher abuse you and the children with legal actions.

I would let him know that for all his high minded ideals he is morally deficient and in that he represents his organzaion well.

My best to you and your children.

The four letter word everyone hates is TIME, it takes time to heal, it takes time to put this in perspective, it takes time to put some emotional distance between you and the event.

The thing that I get most angry about is that the victims ending up paying for the most for these abusers.

We pay emotionally, financially, mentally and physically, while the abusers and their supporters act like they have no culpability in the situation.

It will drive you crazy if you let it. I try not to, some days I'm successful, some days, not so much.

This is ecclesiastical abuse. I believe there are some people out there collecting stories of Mormon ecclesiastical abuse? Maybe you can get your story out there. TSCC won't do anything about individual cases, but did like this needs to be out there. If there is enough pressure maybe TSCC will implement some checks on the rampant abuse of power by it's lay clergy.

Does anyone know who was collecting these stories?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:44PM by Susan I/S.

Sorry you had to endure this. It is amazing, isn't it?

Nailamindi is right: It is ecclesiastic abuse. But more than that, it shows what happens when a religion has amateur clergy who are driven in many cases by wanting to "climb the ladder." These guys receive NO training on how to deal with complex issues, and at the same time are told their god chose them above hundreds of other men for this magic job, and that he will "qualify" them.

BS. They are boys pretending to know how to take a watch apart and put it back together again. And they can't. And they do real harm to real people.

Sounds to me like you have your act together. Best of luck to you and your children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:45PM by Susan I/S.

Dear ChrisD, I went through a very similar experience many years ago with my incredibly cruel "TBM" ex, our children, and worthless priesthood leaders. It wasnt the first clue I got that mormonism was bs, but during that mess I decided to definitely get out of dodge. Now the children are grown, well educated, and into their chosen careers. due to the abuse, they still have some issues to continue to work through.
By the way, they have not seen or spoken with that monster "father" in over 15 years. He has made some attempts to get in touch with them by feeding sob stories to whover will listen to enlist help in getting with them. He is dead to them. I dont know how he could expect anything else.
So others got in trouble for smoking, dating nonmembers, etc. But he stayed in good standing while physically and emotionally abusing his wife and innocent children.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:46PM by Susan I/S.

...The "Holy Ghost" may prompt bishops and stake presidents about members' church discipline issues. They often believe that what pops into their head is from god. If they doubt you, they think that's the spirit communicating to them. They don't need evidence, or worse, their feelings may supercede evidence. Even when they make diametrically wrong decisions they'll think the spirit knew best anyway. Mormons have a fantastic confirmation bias about their messages from the holy ghost.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience but glad you got out of both the marriage and the church.

If you want to pursue this more, you may want to look into your local laws regarding the reporting of abuse. Medical doctors have specific requirements for reporting abuse, especially when it involves children. If he violated those laws, you could report him to the police and/or state medical board.

Good luck and stay strong!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:46PM by Susan I/S.

I am continually amazed at how people can turn their mind and soul over to a corporation. I know this happens because I did it when I went through the temple and did not pick-up the fact that I had turned over everything I had and would ever have to the CJCLDS in their horrible endowment ceremony. When I woke-up to what I had done I was horrified.

If these men ever come to an understanding of what they have done and what they are now doing I do not know how they could live with themselves. I thank the stars I never held a leadership position that put me in that kind of power over others' lives. I hope for goodness sake I would never have ever thought to behave like that.

Am so happy you found the strength and support to get yourself and your children out of that situation. May none of the money I gave to that horrible institution ever have gone to hurt others but I know it probably did. For that I apologize.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:46PM by Susan I/S.

I am glad you did go in there with pictures and see that they don't care about your kids or you. Obviously they cared about HIS money. Had to have been that to let him off. Happy that you were strong enough to go there with a friend and insist she sit in. Your ex has no right to be with the kids if he hurt them physically as you describe. All the best to you and especially to the institutionalized child.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:47PM by Susan I/S.

I hope that you are doing better.... But I never really take many things at face value anymore. Thank the LDS church for that. I tend to question most everything, even on the friend side. You had pics, you went to a DR., you had a friend's support -- and NEVER went to the authorities? You had the courage to go to a Stake Pres but didn't have the courage to go to the autorities to try to defend your children? ER's are usually pretty inquisitive about such matters. They didn't ask? I honestly think you would be cleared of justifiable homicide if you reacted in such a manner to the abuse you are claiming. In addition 'several years' would still allow you to come in under the statute of limitations. Please say that you, for the sake of your children, would try to hold this man accountable.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2014 05:47PM by Susan I/S.

The now ex husband hired an excellent lawyer and I told the truth on the witness stand and both HE AND HIS MOTHER lied (she lived with us on and for several years...and saw it all)!!

The Social Services department is broken...terribly broken, remember the nut job that blew up himself and his two young boys just feet away from the "supervising" social worker (I believe that was in Washington State).

"Ruled out, or unsubstantiated" seem to be the best they can do. I have been through it all!

My Ex has now "earned" the right to limited visitation (finally unsupervised). Recently, a social worker from Child protective services called me because of my one son who has such challenges right now. She said she wanted to come to my home and "see how we live." I told her I would more than welcome her AFTER she visited my ex-husband's house (where he takes the boys during his visits).

She admitted that she did not have an address for him...I told her, NEITHER DO I!!! I invited her to call me back AFTER she figured out where he lives...instead I received a letter from her in the mail stating that "she was closing the case [WHAT CASE???] and that her investigation concluded that I WAS NOT neglecting my children!"

Unbelievable!!

and it was my sad and frustrating experience that in every office I worked in (in various places around the country) you hear stories like this, you KNOW that terrible things are going on, and

1) There are never enough workers to stay on top of the cases.

2) The rules for taking effective action are so time-consuming and convoluted (and if you manage to actually put a case together, your supervisor or manager may block it for fear of retaliatory lawsuits.)

We have a case in our area right now where a 9-year-old boy was kicked to death by his own mother, who was stoned out of her mind. The little boy's grandmother said she had called Child Protective services and begged for intervention. The child himself had told his teachers that he was being abused. He begged for help.

Apparently CPS had had a case file on this kid, but nothing "open" at the time. Having been there and done that, I thought that from the caseworker's perspective, it was a damn lucky thing that there wasn't an open, pending case, because the beaurocrats wouldn't have hesitated to make the caseworker the sacrificial lamb.

It's a tragedy, but the agencies responsible are more worried about covering their own asses than actually looking out for the kids.

I cannot stop crying...my boys are 6, 8 & 10. A precious boy was kicked to death by his own MOTHER!!!!!! Is there a God in Heaven????

I was screwed over severely by several bishopricks and others in the higher up LDS mess. I told them that they were great representatives of their profits, JS and BY. And I told them exactly why. They are all creepy asshole criminals and may they ALL rot in Hell forever and ever. Amen!

SP's are not selected to take care of people.

They're selected to enforce discipline (whips) and maximize cash flow.

This is why the mold is the narcissistic corporate type that can publicly fake "I really really care about you" when it matters.

Uncaring is putting it nicely your stake president was helping an abuser and not supporting the victims. The good old boys club. A friend of mine sister gets beaten by her husband and they have temple recommends. The stake president told the beaten wife to "not be so difficult to her husband as she knows he has a short temper" and to use forgives. The whole ward knows about it, it has been going on for many years.
Glad you are divorced from that man and that you are protecting your kids. Sorry you had such a bad stake president.

MoLeaders are chosen to support the status quo & TSCC; anything that makes waves or (GASP) threatens what they do is an ENEMY!

A Stake President is called to serve for a period of 10 years. The primary attribute being looked for in potential candidates is one of being prepared to serve committedly for that length of tine coupled with being "church broke" (won't ask awkward questions and will do as he is told). Candidates are not known to the GA's ho call them prior to being interviewed. Candidates are nominated by the sitting High Council and outgoing Presidency. Whoever gets the most nominations generally gets selected.

With photos and medical visits - where were the POLICE reports?

The SP is an ass but you don't say a thing about the criminal process for a wife and child beater.

It never ceases to amaze me when people go to their local priesthood leader (a bishop, branch president or stake president) and discover that he has no power. What do they expect the man to do?

The fact is that no bishop or stake president has any power unless granted by the individual member. We read here about countless posts where people reveal how they rejected their Church leader. Yet someone is astounded when they find it happens from someone else.

A bishop learns a report. Will the person meet him? Will they deal truthfully? Will they act on their bishop's decision?

If you want *action*, you must report your claim to public authorities with real authority to act.

Finally, I endorse the policy that Church leaders are forbidden to advise a spouse to leave their marriage. The only person who knows if they have endured abuse is the afflicted person. Only she (or he) knows if it is unsafe to stay.

It is sad that people feel they need "permission" from the Church to take decisive action. That fact is that they don't require the Church's permission to marry or separate.

One of the several police reports that I filed...read (from the effing cop's notes) "while the child in question seems to not be able to control himself [Yeah, he is AUTISTIC!!!! Get it, butt head??] the discipline applied to him does not seem excessive!" [I fear greatly for this cop's family members!!!!!] This was moments after my boy needed staple to the side of his head...he could control himself if he want to...he is AUTISTIC!!! Give a child who has down syndrome a work sheet with calculus problems on it. When they are unable to do it...beat them!!! It's really close to my situation...I get to talk with my son in a few hours, provided he has not hurt any of the staff today!!

Chrisdeanna Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One of the several police reports that I
> filed...read (from the effing cop's notes) "while
> the child in question seems to not be able to
> control himself the discipline applied to him
> does not seem excessive!" This was moments after
> my boy needed staple to the side of his head...he
> could NOT control himself if he want to...he is
> AUTISTIC!!! Give a child who has down syndrome a
> work sheet with calculus problems on it. When
> they are unable to do it...beat them!!! It's
> really close to my situation...I get to talk with
> my son in a few hours, provided he has not hurt
> any of the staff today!!

Congratulations on your courage in saving your children!!! In all your life, this might be your greatest, most noble accomplishment! I love you! I am so sorry you had to suffer.

The truth is that the Mormon church denies, excuses, and enables abuse!

I was temple-married to a bully RM for 14 months. He beat me almost every day--for no reason--and put me in the hospital several times. He would shout Mormon scriptures at me (D&C 132) along with obscenities. There were witnesses, doctor's records, photographs, and my monster ex did not contest the divorce.

Yet with all this evidence, the Mormon church would never grant me a temple divorce (or temple cancellation of sealing, or temple clearance.) The name of it and the rules changed over the years. I was not allowed to marry a decent TBM in the temple a few years later, though we were both temple-worthy.

Worst of all, my innocent children, who I had with my second husband, were still technically sealed in the temple to my wife-beater first husband. The cult said that this assured me a place in the Celestial Kingdom WITH MY CHILDREN, because my second husband left the cult. In the meantime, the wife-beater had temple married two other women (they both divorced him, too), so now he had a total of 3 wives in the hereafter. After I got this information, directly from a GA, I decided that the Mormon cult, and its polygamous heaven, was not of God.

I have read so many of your postings...your words and the words of others mean so much!!! Thank you, ALL.

And, just to be clear...I DID REPORT EVERYTHING TO LAW ENFORCEMENT...that system is BROKEN, too!!!

There is the recent case in Toronto where grandchildren were turned over to abusive Grandparents..Grandma had a record for abusing her own kids. Yet Catholic Children's Aid did not conduct a thorough investigation as to her suitability. She Both she and her husband(who is not a biological grandparent) are in jail for a very long time. They should have been terminated. Children's welfare should never be entrusted to religious organizations IMHO...they have a terrible track record.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/09/12/jeffrey-baldwin-boy-starved-to-death-by-grandparents-was-called-a-pig-by-them-inquest-told/