The Glorious Adventures of the Golden Bible Company is proved to be fool's gold. The Book of Mormon fails the English test of literary language criticism: in a conspiracy of anachronism, cliché, tautology, oddisms, contradiction, and not least the illogical perpetration of the assumption that God must be a raving fascist intergalactic empire building madman.

I hope you enjoy a few more of my favourite things - a flavour, a lick, of Joseph's Plagiarism. Behold the madness of King Joseph:

1. I Nephi 1:1 I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

· See I Corinthians 4:1 - The mysteries of God

2. 1:9 And it came to pass that he saw One descending out of the midst of heaven, and he beheld that his luster was above that of the sun at noon-day.

· See Joseph’s First Vision!

3. 1:14 And it came to pass that when my father had read and seen many great and marvelous things, he did exclaim many things unto the Lord; such as: Great and marvelous are thy works, O Lord God Almighty! Thy throne is high in the heavens, and thy power, and goodness, and mercy are over all the inhabitants of the earth, and, because thou art merciful, thou wilt not suffer those who come unto thee that they shall perish!

· See Revelation 15:3 – Great and Marvelous are thy works, Lord God Almighty.


4. 2:18 But, behold, Laman and Lemuel would not hearken unto my words; and being grieved because of the hardness of their hearts I cried unto the Lord for them.

· See Mark 3:5

5. 2:24 And if it so be that they rebel against me, they shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in the ways of remembrance.

· See 2 Peter 1:13

6. 4:13 Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.

· See John 11:50 – It is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not.

7. 10:8 Yea, even he should go forth and cry in the wilderness: Prepare ye the way of the Lord, and make his paths straight; for there standeth one among you whom ye know not; and he is mightier than I, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose. And much spake my father concerning this thing.

· See John 1:23 & Luke 3:16

8. 10:10 And after he had baptized the Messiah with water, he should behold and bear record that he had baptized the Lamb of God, who should take away the sins of the world

· See John 1:29 – Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

9. 10:18 For he is the same yesterday, to-day, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him

· See Hebrew 13:8 & Matthew 25:34

10. 11:36 And it came to pass that I saw and bear record, that the great and spacious building was the pride of the world; and it fell, and the fall thereof was exceedingly great. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Thus shall be the destruction of all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, that shall fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb

· See Revelation 14:6

11. 12:2 And it came to pass that I beheld multitudes gathered together to battle, one against the other; and I beheld wars, and rumors of wars, and great slaughters with the sword among my people.

12. 12:10 And these twelve ministers whom thou beholdest shall judge thy seed. And, behold, they are righteous forever; for because of their faith in the Lamb of God their garments are made white in his blood.

· See Revelation 7:14 – and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb

13. 14:11 And it came to pass that I looked and beheld the whore of all the earth, and she sat upon many waters; and she had dominion over all the earth, among all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people.

· See Revelations 17:1 & 14:6

14. 22:15 For behold, saith the prophet, the time cometh speedily that Satan shall have no more power over the hearts of the children of men; for the day soon cometh that all the proud and they who do wickedly shall be as stubble; and the day cometh that they must be burned.

· See Malachi 4:1

15. II Nephi 1:14 Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.

· See Hamlet – The undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveller returns [check!]

16. 4:18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

· See Hebrews 12:1

17. 7:1 Yea, for thus saith the Lord: Have I put thee away, or have I cast thee off forever? For thus saith the Lord: Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement? To whom have I put thee away, or to which of my creditors have I sold you? Yea, to whom have I sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.

· Joseph lifts two chapters from Isaiah – 50 & 51

18. 9:1 And now, my beloved brethren, I have read these things that ye might know concerning the covenants of the Lord that he has covenanted with all the house of Israel –

· Two more lifted chapters – Isaiah 7 & 8

19. 9:16 And assuredly, as the Lord liveth, for the Lord God hath spoken it, and it is his eternal word, which cannot pass away, that they who are righteous shall be righteous still, and they who are filthy shall be filthy still; wherefore, they who are filthy are the devil and his angels; and they shall go away into everlasting fire; prepared for them; and their torment is as a lake of fire and brimstone, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever and has no end.

· See Revelation 22:11 – He which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still

20. 9:18 But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.

· See Hebrews 12:2 & Matthew 25:34 & John 15:11

21. 9:51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness.

· See Isaiah 55:2

22. 13:1 For behold, the Lord, the Lord of Hosts, doth take away from Jerusalem, and from Judah, the stay and the staff, the whole staff of bread, and the whole stay of water –

· Joseph fills in with Isaiah chapter 3 - 14

23. 27:2 And when that day shall come they shall be visited of the Lord of Hosts, with thunder and with earthquake, and with a great noise, and with storm, and with tempest, and with the flame of devouring fire.

· Joseph lifts Isaiah 29

24. 30:9 And with righteousness shall the Lord God judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth. And he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth; and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.

· See Isaiah 11:4 - 11:9


25. 14:1 Yea, even doth not Isaiah say: Who hath believed our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?

Joseph with Isaiah 53 as filler


26. 26:27 And then I will confess unto them that I never knew them; and they shall depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
Viz Matthew 7:23 & Matthew 25:41

27. 12:27 But behold, it was not so; but it was appointed unto men that they must die; and after death, they must come to judgment, even that same judgment of which we have spoken, which is the end.

See Hebrews 9:27

28. 37:15 And now behold, I tell you by the spirit of prophecy, that if ye transgress the commandments of God, behold, these things which are sacred shall be taken away from you by the power of God, and ye shall be delivered up unto Satan, that he may sift you as chaff before the wind.

See Luke 22:31: Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat.


29. 12:3 Yea, blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
III Nephi 12:3-45 is a rip-off of Matthew 5:3-45

30. 18:13 Wherefore, they knew not whither they should steer the ship, insomuch that there arose a great storm, yea, a great and terrible tempest, and we were driven back upon the waters for the space of three days; and they began to be frightened exceedingly lest they should be drowned in the sea; nevertheless they did not loose me

· See Shakespeare’s The Tempest!

How shall we mark Joseph's language paper? Hope you are all chipper and have a mellow holiday season. esias