It came this afternoon while he was at work and everyone is gathering at his parents house in half an hour to watch him open it. I hope, because he's older (almost 21) that he goes somewhere stateside. That seems to happen a lot if you don't have important Mormon relatives, money or go when you are past the normal leave-by date. Although come to think of it, I left late and have no Mormon relatives at all, important or not since I was a convert. My dad did have money though. And I went to Spain.

OK, now I'm worried about where he could go. I so wanted him somewhere safe, with good internet access and hopefully in the neighborhood of one of you guys, so you could do a little deprogramming. I'll report back later.

Is he going to YouTube it?
And remember, before you "report" you have to "return".



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/08/2014 10:34PM by misterzelph.

I just had a vision..

He is going to Brazil

To see the excitement on their fresh faces and then the dreaded moment when they open the envelope and get "Spanish Speaking Oakland Mission" when they had dreams of going somewhere exciting where they could draw on those experiences to give exciting talks the rest of their lives. It's kind of like getting a Chia a pet for Christmas - "Oh, a Chia Phil Robertson, I always wanted one!" Ugh. These events are always painful regardless.

I'll cross my fingers that he'll be in a stateside mission like you're hoping for. And maybe somewhere near a board poster.

Put me down for the Idaho Boise Mission.

It's not like a statewide mission is going to be any better. My sister was stranded in out in one of the Plains states on her mission, living in squalor, with almost no budget for food, without a car or a bicycle.

I'll take a cue from my Patriarchal Blessing and prophecy that he will be called to serve a mission...


(wait for it)


"...in far places."

We have a true prophet among us.

'To a people anxiously awaiting it's message'

Dutch John, Utah

I predict southern Indiana.

Are we running a sweepstake?

I'm impressed that his call will be for.....Europe.

You must specify a country, at least. Only specifying a continent is getting off too easily.

The Holy Spirit doesn't do specifics.

I'm seeing mountains....

BumFuck, Egypt

Chicago illinois.

He's going someplace truly awful. The Florida Tallahassee Mission. If he get's stuck living in the small apartment above my TBM sister's garage, I promise to check in on him, and not make fun of him too badly.

I wish he were going anywhere I could send you guys to check on him/deprogram him. He's going to one of the missions in the Puebla/Oaxaca region of Mexico.

Isn't that where the drug cartel guy wanted to ship Walter White off to, so he could build a super-lab?

Oh great!

Make sure to tell him, his best course would be to tread lightly.
When tracting, he is the one who knocks!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2014 07:00AM by ldsidiot.

Mountains? Afghanistan......I hope not. I hope they tell him he is too old and that he doesn't have to go. Can you talk him out of it? You don't want him to waste two years of his life ruining other people's lives do you? Get him to go to college instead.

If it were my son, that would be one thing but if I don't want my SIL trying to talk my son into GOING on a mission, I probably better not try to talk her son out of one.

I am going to pull him aside, give him a phone card and tell him ANY time he's sick or worried or in danger or depressed or just wants to leave, we will go get him. His mother would be all over him to say, worried about being a failure and what everyone would think. I do not have those worries and I'd wire him the money to buy a ticket home if he needed me to in a heartbeat.

Doesn't the mission pres. confiscate their passports so they can't leave the country without him knowing about it?

Anybody who wants to can watch me open my electrical bill. It won't be very exciting because I live in a two room apartment.

I just had a revelation! It will be $3.50.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2014 04:19AM by ldsidiot.

Oaxaca used to have a fabulous outdoor market. I could have traded my sister for a guitar.

Is that market still there, does anyone know?

You could probably get a bunch of guitars for your sister...as long as she's ready to be a virgin 9 or 10 times. I kid you not, I heard this guy in Mexico (which is what I get for living in SoCal...where it's only a couple of hours away) actually "hocking" his sister on the street. "Hey, joo like my seester? She virgin nine times!"

That's still a family joke (we had a normal, oddly funny, family-but then, we weren't Mormon!LOL). When we'd go to a "white" wedding with a couple we KNEW were "doing it" (or already living together), we'd say, "It's okay if she wears white...she virgin...nine times! I wonder if that's anything like an eight cow woman...

Moose Jaw?

He is called to the United States Postal sorting center in Topeka!
The US Postal sevices are inserting their needs into the letters. It's only fair since they are the part of the prophetic delivery process. His first companion is a large bag of mail. They are to go door to door delivering the flyers and coupons of this dispensation. This is a nonspeaking mission and it is estimated that he and the bag will serve for two years or less depending on how the email thing developes.
May the lord bless you, Elder Sack, give you strength as you struggle with doubt and a heavy load of resignation ackowledgments