Would that be a different question anywhere else but in a Mormon environment?

I am 56 years old and was raised in the church. I am the only one in my family who doesn't believe and I had my named removed a few years back, which my family doesn't know about. For years I would go to family members' weddings only to have to sit in the temple foyer while everyone else got to go inside. My spouse and I always felt like outsiders so after a few years we just stopped going to the weddings at the temple and would just meet up with everyone at the reception afterwards. It's a lot more enjoyable and no one has ever said anything to me about it -- I guess they just understand since I've never had a temple recommend... It was ridiculous to drive several hours to the temple and then just sit outside anyway. And I've never been concerned about being in someone else's family pictures anyway so that wasn't a concern for me either. If YOU'VE had a temple recommend in the past and now don't want to go, that might be a little more difficult than my situation.

I was a faithful Mormon when my brother got married. We all
drove up to Salt Lake and waited outside the temple while he got
married inside. I wasn't allowed in because I was only 18.

Only Mormons can be faithful church goers for years and never
have seen anyone get married.

This is so bizarre, in retrospect. Waited outside the temple for two siblings. Still TBM at the time, but unendowed.

I applaud you for not going and sitting in the waiting area. I think every family member or friend invited to a temple wedding but clearly can't witness it should do the same. Maybe some members will then see how messed up the process is. Even when I was a TBM and got married, I did the normal wedding first, waited the required year, and got sealed in the temple. I couldn't even imagine not doing it that way and excluding all my friends (who are not TBM).

My stepmother didn't want me at their wedding. I was seven.

I refused to go to my mother's. I was 15. When my stepfather went to jail, she blamed me for the marriage. Seriously.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2014 10:39PM by Beth.

my sister gave us two days notice of the date of her 3rd marriage and wrote a nasty email to complainers. so only mom, dad, gma, my disabled bro and I went from her family.

LOL! I get to answer this one too!

My father got remarried to his 3rd eternal wife in 1983 and I was informed of it after the fact. Didn't even know he was dating somebody! I was only 13 though so wouldn't have been to the temple show anyway.

This one I think I'll blame on my mother. They were sealed and so she had to give her consent, which of course means she knew very early.

I have a letter in her papers wherein she had appealed to the so-called "First Presidency" to request a temple divorce. I also have the letter denying it. 'let the Lord figure it out' or some such foolishness.

FYI: They may have asked for her consent, but they would have done the marriage if she approved or not. They really don't give a damn what the ex wife thinks. Don't blame your mother. She really had no say in the matter.

This happened to me. Ex got remarried in the temple after being divorced from me. Mormon church sent a certified letter asking for my "comments" on the marriage. I ignored the letter so it got sent back. Bishop calls me and asks me to write a "letter" regarding his ability to be a father since there was a child involved. I asked bishop if he was asking for my consent to the marriage. He fell all over himself repeating No No No for several seconds. I can't remember if I hung up on him or if I just laughed and then hung up. But I called my ex and told him his bishop was an a$$hole. Dear ex laughed and agreed.

BTW I didn't attend my DD's temple wedding.

ONLY my sister was temple married (and myself). She is only 18 months older than me, but since I hadn't been "endowed" yet, I didn't get to attend her wedding.

Then I did have the 2 siblings who eloped.

My little brother got married in the temple (about a 4 hour drive from where I was living at the time), so I told him that I wasn't going. My family knew of my dissatisfaction with the church and also knew I wasn't going to try to get a recommend, so they accepted my decision to not go to it. Our dad was the only one who went through with him because my mom is disabled. I almost boycotted their reception (eight hours away from me) because I disapproved of the bride, but I love my brother so I showed up and even sang a song for them. I've since warmed up to her.

I was lifelong TBM until 7 years ago. When my son was married a few years back, I endured the sitting in the SLC temple lobby routine. I have previously been to many temple weddings. Ironically, it didn't really bother me or my wife. Guess I know enough that it is a quick deal and then they're back outside for pictures.

None of my kids are married yet, but I've thought the same thing. It wouldn't be disappointing to miss the sealing of my kids. There's nothing really to see.

Out of my 6 siblings, I was only invited to one wedding. That was the wedding of one of my older sisters who didn't get married in the temple.

I may have gotten them, but I don't remember even getting announcements to the rest of them.

They all made sure I was invited to my parents 50th wedding anniversary. I lived thousands of miles away and couldn't afford to go. They insisted I pay my part for the party anyway. I sent them $50. That was the last I heard from any of them for years.

Several of them are now on their second marriages. I wasn't invited to those either. To be fair, I didn't even tell them when I remarried. I didn't think they cared.

I went to both my sisters' first weddings. I didn't go my one sister's other 2 weddings. I went to my youngest brother's wedding, where I officiated, but I was not invited to my other brother's wedding. I wasn't invited to my dad's 2nd wedding.

I didn't travel to any of my cousins' weddings either.

My cousin (who I went to the temple with in my introduction story) got married to a man almost as old as our parents. Her husband only converted to mormonism for her. I remember her telling me that he wasn't "the one" and that she would have to let him down, but then they went on a trip down to see our grandparents and then he suddenly was going to get baptised and became "the one" for her since he would be able to go to the temple. My cousin has had more sex than I have (and I'm the bad one) but she was intent on getting that temple marriage and she somehow got her TR after a year of repenting. So, knowing all of this about her and her "real reason" for marrying him (which she flat out denied to me), I lied and said I couldn't make it to their wedding or reception--plus, it was a four hour drive for me anyway). The man she married is still heavily involved with the church. I know she is too because she only posts church-related garbage on her FB wall and I had to get her off my wall so that I wouldn't become angry by reading about all of her posts. They both seem happy in their marriage and he is really a nice guy so, even though I boycotted their marriage, I'm glad that they got together.

I have waited outside the temple for the last 17 years as family members (even my own offspring) got married. I went to the reception and smiled for pictures. But they all (even the small children) were told there was something wrong with me, but they weren't exactly sure what.

I was not allowed to view my brothers wedding because I didn't have a mormon membership card. I wasn't an attendee and really the only reason is I don't give mormonism 10% of my salary.

If money is more important than family to the church then that is their choice but cringe to their greed.

My youngest brother is TBM and married in the temple. I live a thousand miles away and the fam wanted me to show up at my own expense. I didn't have a TR nor did I have any desire to get one. At the time my husband was in and out of the hospital with exacerbations due to multiple sclerosis so I told them I couldn't go. They never forgave me for that.

I missed both of my sister's weddings. Sat outside the temple when I was 16 for the first, was on my mission for the second (no phone call, nothing). It's not considered weird to miss weddings in the Mormon church.

I did lie to get a T.R. to see my best friend married, though. Gosh, was it weird, seeing the shell-shocked bride who had just been through the temple for the first time, being married to a man in a funny hat. Most awkward feeling in the world.

I have only attended the wedding of my little sister, and that's because she had it in the church first and did the temple thing a year later. Never went to any of my other siblings weddings.

Too many people in my family to be going to all the weddings. So I've been to zero of them. Thirty-five nephews and nieces. Now their kids and grandkids are marriage age. Screw it all.

I didn't even tell my family I was getting married until after the fact--because I married a nevermo. In our back yard. It's not like they were going to travel several hundred miles to be there, anyway.

I could not go to the weddings of two of my daughters because I had resigned. It hurt.

One of our other daughters got married outside of TSCC and only DW and I were there for the wedding because she was concerned that her siblings would fail to attend so she did not invite them.

Our TBM son refused to attend the wedding of his closest cousin because it was on a Sunday. Ironically, DW and I did attend and it was on that day that I met Mitt Romney in Belmont....

5 kids married in the temple so far. I've had to miss each one. The first two were really painful experiences, but it's gotten better each time.

Isn't it wonderful, isn't it marvelous...the gospel, a living prophet, priesthood powers, a mormon god.....FAMILY !!!!

It's not completely on-topic, but I flew 2,000 miles to stand outside my brother's wedding, and I had never seen his wife before until she stepped out of the temple, AFTER their ceremony. I spoke to her for the first time at their reception later that evening.

Fortunately, I haven't had to miss one yet. My sister got married just a few months after I left. I hadn't resigned and my temple recommend hadn't expired. So I asked her if it was ok with her if I attended, despite my complete lack of belief in anything to do with Mormonism. She was fine with it, so I went.

I guess I'll be missing any future temple marriages, though.

I quit going to the Mormon ones (and they quit inviting me)....no party...no booze...no me...

Ron Burr

Missed my oldest brother's wedding-too young.

Missed my youngest brother's wedding-no recommend, waited outside with apostates and younger kids.

Missed MY SON'S WEDDING-no recommend, waited outside with the other unclean. Which included many family members too young to be endowed, along with apostates.



But it really is a family church

I missed my daughters marriage. I no longer believed and no longer had a recommend. One of my sons followed me out of the belief and we went to the temple together. We arrived after the ceremony, I did not want to wait in the temple waiting room. My husband met me outside the temple and I went in with him for taking picture. This temple has an area for taking pictures inside. I had family members who did not know I would not be in the temple, that was awkward to say the least, but everyone minded their manners. My never-mo son-in-law could see I was very uncomfortable so he put his arm out for me to hold onto. Love him for that. There is nothing the church could do to make up for spitting in the eye of my motherhood including changing the policy. That would be nice to those who would benefit but for those who were disrespected because of their so called unworthiness...not so much.

The only family member's sealing I have been to was my own.

I was 18 when my first sibling was sealed. I sat outside completely alone in an unfamiliar town while everyone else was inside. The bride, groom, and another sibling were also doing their first time endowments, so it was a very long session (pre-cell phone days to pass the time, much less look at the time!). I longed for the day I could go inside, too.

My favorite sibling got married while I was still unendowed. Lucky me got to babysit a hungry, breastfed 1 month old baby with no food supply and a toddler in a huge empty gym of the adjoining stake center. I was miserable and bitter that day. I hated being left out of my bro's big moment, just because I hadn't had the "opportunity" to go through the temple yet.

When I was sealed, I was the only family member to have all the family members present inside. I didn't know at the time that my dad had lied on worthiness questions to get his TR. I was mad years later when I realized he shouldn't have been in attendance and how dare he "defile" the sacred temple ordinance. Blah. Now I laugh and think, at least he was there.

Very soon my oldest sib will be heading to her local McTemple with her mid-30s menace to society. I am openly exmo along with my spouse and my fav sib and his wife. I'm not feeling too bad at the moment because I'll be in good company while we wait.

We're considering drinking mimosas on the temple lawn while we wait for the TBM crowd to have their party. Maybe we'll play Cards against Humanity. No matter what, we're determined to enjoy the day and cheer on the bride.

My goal for this sib's wedding is to avoid babysitting the first wedded sibling's 5 kids.

Like StrayMutt, I married a never mo. I did not invite anyone to the wedding. After being nagged by family members to get married by the Bishop and other nonsense, we decided to plan a trip to Las Vegas and get married on our own terms. For once I wasn't going to do something that made everyone else happy. All I wanted was a pretty gown which I bought and took with me. I never was endowed so even when I was old enough, I didn't see any of my siblings get married. Just as well that they didn't get to come to my wedding. (It made it easier to do all that as I'd moved 1200 miles away a year prior to getting married and the TBM family was disappointed that I was living with my fiance.)

I have done the thing where I sit outside the temple during a niece or nephew's wedding. I have made the trip to Utah for all of their weddings except one. The only reason I didn't go to his is his mother sent all his aunts an uncles an email saying we weren't invited to the wedding breakfast or the ceremony. They wanted to keep it very small. I think that was her idea, not my nephew's. I decided I wasn't going to make such a huge effort to only go to their reception for punch and cookies where I'd probably only get a few minutes to even talk to him. Everyone in our family has always had a wedding breakfast and invited me so even though I didn't get to go to the ceremony, that made me feel included and that was the fun part anyway. The next time I went to Utah I took my nephew and his wife out to dinner on my dime and had a nice long visit with them.

I sat outside my SIL's wedding while DW was inside. When DW told SIL that I wouldn't be inside, her first question was,

"Is he not worthy?"

DW said it wasn't a worthiness issue, but because we had a 1-yr-old at the time and I should watch him.