Fucking pinewood derby.


I hated it when I was young. I hate it now. Wish my boy luck at beating the mini-morgbots.

Just make sure that you have plenty of graphite lube...the rest is just luck. I have seen the most unlikely and ugly pieces of cr^p beat some of the slickest daddy's-machine-shop-creations on more than one occasion.

Oh, and good luck!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2014 07:43PM by facsimile3.

Just make sure your son has no idea you put the lube on, so he doesn't rat you out.

My Dad, who is in the music business, would use the stuff that they varnish pianos to grease the wheels. At least that is the story I heard. Might have just been graphite lube. Now that stuff is slick. Used to beat all the other cheaters.

He drilled holes in the bottom of the car, weighted it with heavy coins like quarters (covered back with a glue and sawdust mix, smoothed over, and used some very slick lube stuff.

It just BARELY passed the weight test, but it won. My son had the huge trophy, but never really felt pride of ownership. It was his father's project, not the boy's. (And I don't think that my son has ever been interested in any kind of woodworking, even for fun, since then. And he is well into his 30's.)

When I was a kid, you were allowed to add weight to the car, so long as you did not go over the legal limit.

Also, South Park did an episode on Pinewood Derby's where Mr. Marsh installs so many cheating contraptions into his son's car, that it ends up breaking light speed, and leading to first contact with aliens.

Love that episode.

"Baby Fark McGee-zax" What a classic!

my dad did the same think for me, but with molten lead.

and correct wheel alignment. also try only making one with 3 wheels. 1 in front to go between the tracks, and 2 in the rear. nobody has tried that one before.

I made a pinewood derby car as a cub scout. I imagined carving the thing into the shape of the Batmobile or a sleek Ferrari. With a couple of decent wood tools and the basic block of wood, I set to work in the garage.

Have you ever seen a sausage with dents? Wood doesn't want to be made into something attractive. In fact, it puts up a hell of a fight. It almost refuses to be shaped until you throw it at a wall in anger. Then it dents nicely.

By the way, it lost the race. I gave it to the creek.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2014 07:57PM by donbagley.

For the Win!!

Just have fun!

What kind of tracks are they using?

There's the old wooden two-track system and there's the aluminum 3-track system that hooks up to a PC for clocking the finishing times down to the .000 second.

It's fun to watch, especially when an unpopular, quiet boy wins with the 'fastest car.'

Through the years there have been so many winner's categories created so that each boy can go home with his own certificate of glory.

Here's a partial list of categories:

1.Best Paint Design
2.Most Futuristic
3.Most Original
4.Most Realistic
5.Fastest Looking Car
6.Most Patriotic
7.Most Unique
8.Best Design
9.Funniest
10.Most Creative
11.Most Humorous
12.Sportiest
13.Best Use Of Color
14.Best Wedge Car
15.Best Workmanship
16.Most Aerodynamic
17.Most Artistic
18.Most Colorful
19.Best Craftsmanship
20.Best Detail
21.Best Driver In the Car
22.Best Funny Car
23.Best Of Show
24.Best Racer
25.Best Vehicle Not A Car
26.Coolest Design
27.Fast and Furious
28.Fastest Car In The Pack
29.Judge`s Favorite
30.Most Awesome
31.Most Decals
32.Most Unique
33.Shiniest Paint Job
34.Smoothest Finish
35.Strangest Shape
36.Kid’s Choice (where the children themselves pick a winner)
37.Best Accessories
38.Best Block Of Wood
39.Top Movie Or TV Show Themed Car
40.Best Color Scheme
41.Best Jungle Car
42.Best Law Enforcement Car
43.Best Sports Theme
44.Best Use Of Imagination
45.Best Engineered
46.Best Military Vehicle
47.Best Flames
48.Best Fuel Economy (slowest car)

http://www.pinewoodderbycars.com/Top-Award-Categories-for-Pinewood-Derbys-a/280.htm

jiminycricket Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Through the years there have been so many winner's
> categories created so that each boy can go home
> with his own certificate of glory.
>
>
> http://www.pinewoodderbycars.com/Top-Award-Categor
> ies-for-Pinewood-Derbys-a/280.htm

There are 93 categories for awards - a kids gotta come how with something with that many chances.

That's like giving an awards to every kid in the race even "The Last Winner".

Don't forget to put the fishing sinkers/washers just far enough forward to add speed but not too far to tip thd car forward.

Do they still do the propeller driven rockets?

I hated hated hated pinewood derby because I was so jealous. I was the middle child between boys and we were born a year apart. A couple more came later down the line but the three of us were the stairsteps and it was all about the boys.

So they had all the fun stuff and my dad would work with them on their PD cars. All I got to do was go watch the stupid race. So I always cheered for anyone racing against my brothers. Loved to see them lose. What did I get? The stupid daddy-daughter date that my dad never hid his disdain of. It's hard out there for Mo girls.

When I ran the derby we had a division for siblings and another one for dads to compete, so the boys would actually get to make the cars they raced.

A mostly boy made car beat the fastest Dad car. A seven year old girl ( and her dad) had the fastest car. My four year old son built a pick up truck with my help but he did most of the cutting, and we did not tart up the wheels at all. He's long grown and moved off to college, but I notice that pick up truck he designed and painted when he was four is still in his room on a shelf with his prized possessions of growing up.

Actually....
The design of the car doesn't matter much. I had 3 of the slowest cars when I was a kid. I have since learned the wheels and weight placement are the most important factor in having a fast car. My son placed in the top 3 or 4 most years.


You want to sand any rough burrs and mold marks off the nails, wheels, applying even pressure while rotating the wheel to avoid flat spots. While sanding lightly sand a slight angle on the wheels for less resistance on the track. The 1/4 inch or so spot where the wheel hub touches the car don't paint it, leave it bald, the friction rubs the paint off and gets gummy. Rub graphite into the bald spot to reduce friction. You can also polish the nail with leather and graphite. Install the nails so the backs and one front wheel are even and free spinning. The forth wheel having it slightly raised off the ground to reduce friction but there for balance if needed. This technic also works with 2 wheels on opposite corners for even less friction and resistance on the track. The weight is best placed 2/3 to 3/4 distance to the back with about 2/3 to 3/4 of the weight in the back. The metal belt adjusters from infant carseats make good weights counter sunk in the bottom if the car

Were you part of the Apollo Space Program?

I recall our TBM Dad helping us build our cars.

My twin brother was a tinkerer, and he spent hours hiding weights and making it look like the 'batmobile'.

If I remember correctly; my car spun out, hit the guardrail, did three rollovers and caught fire.

Translated: It finished last...

Yeah, what redneck said. You have to sand the moldmarks off the wheels at a minimum. You can also buy extra sets of wheels and pick the roundest ones. Not all are created equal. Roll them on the table and get rid of the ones that wobble. Another thing you can do is sand the face of the hub back at an angle, in order to minimize the area of wheel that contacts the body of the car as the wheel rolls. Use graphite lube only. Don't touch the Teflon lube- that stuff is crap. Use pipe cleaners and toothpaste to gently and quickly polish the inside of the wheel hub. Make sure you clean all the toothpaste out when done.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Bretheren, adieu, are you a dentist? My sons did all the work on the cars themselves--layers of coats of paint, each coat sanded to a shine. They knew all about the fish weights, and the limit, sanding the wheels, etc., but the dentist's sons always won!

We moved to Utah, and in the new ward my sons came in second and third place again. The kid who beat them was the dentist's son. I always suspected them of using those special precision dental tools!

Those are also good tips. Most importantly though work with your son and involve them with the building and have fun

I always thought they should leave the boys out of it and have the fathers compete. After all, they're the ones building the cars.

If a boy doesn't have a father, for whatever reason, he will most likely be a failure in that competition. It's all about the fathers.

It's like a dad knocking down a little league kid to run the bases for his own son.

It is a tradition.

My father made my car.

I made my sons car.

He has to produce a boy so he can make a car.

When my first son had his first PD, everyone was given some sort of award (as mentioned above). My son won the "Cubbiest" award because it looked like he had made the car with no help from his dad. My husband (who HAD helped) was not pleased. :)

I would not help (cheat) so our sons never won. But they had pride in doing it themselves. I knew one TBM mom who refused to allow her sons to compete because she felt so bad for those who lost. Dumb.

My mom would not let me be a Cub Scout. So I never did the pinewood derby car thing myself.

But when my son became a Cub Scout, I decided that we would do the car together. It was the year that the movie "Jaws" came out, so we painted the car blue and a big face with large white teeth on the front. We didn't even come close to winning, but we sure had a lot of fun. And no one else did Jaws but us. I guess my son realized then that it was the project with me rather than winning the race that counted the most.

(Sniff, sniff)

So the cars that won 1st and 2nd were brothers. They were built from kit cars that you get from hobby lobby. Much more precision parts and weight placement systems than the standard grade BSA issue. That's cool and all, but I'm bothered for all the other kids that suffer through with the BSA kits.

We used all kinds of graphite, I ran the nails through the brass polisher for about 2 days. I bought a tool to help get the nails for the wheels in straight. More graphite. I think he came in 13 of 20.

It was an aluminum track. No digital timer. One lady kept yelling at the kids to stay away from the track, and not to walk over it. They did not hand out creative awards at this one. I was pleased with that. The dude running it was new and quite humorless.

Glad it is over. At least we have a rain gutter regatta win to look back on. That is more victory than I have to look back on.

About 4 years ago when we were still active in the mormon church and before we finally resigned my son was in scouts and he ended up winning the Pinewood derby. Funny things is we had two friends, or more correctly church friends, who had lots of experience in creating their sons pinewood cars and were very sure of their creations finishing first. On the Sunday before the race we were over at one of the friends home and I was telling him that my son and I were still working on our car. He told us that we would lose because we were working on it on Sunday. It was great to win and beat these two church friends. Neither one congratulated my son or me.

Great story. Congratulations on the win!

Pinewood derby stories always bring back very fond memories of my childhood growing up with my Nevermo dad. He was an amazing man who somehow navigated the territory in a way that he never had me feeling left out, but he never sold out to join the church. My dad passed away a few year ago, so I love remembering this story from about 40 years ago.

We labored hard one year to make a great pinewood derby car. The day before the race, I found a can of 3-in-one oil in the garage and liberally spread it all over my axles and wheels. That evening dad came home to discover that I inadvertently grabbed the can next to the 3-in-one oil which was actually a belt dressing used to stop squealing fan belts. The cans were virtually identical, but the belt dressing was sadly, very sticky stuff. I ruined all our hard work.

Undaunted, dad threw me in the car and we got to the craft shop mere moments before they closed to buy another car. But the race was the following morning, and there was no time left for any customizing. We sanded off the hard edges and spray painted a flat red color on it. It was ugly as sin.

But since we had almost no time to do much more sanding and customizing, it was also very heavy. As this ugly thing kept winning race after race, a murmur started running through the crowd about the reason for the ugly car. The rumor spread through the crowd, and became a story my dad would tell with a great laugh for the rest of his life.

After winning another heat, the man next to dad leaned over and told him the sad news of how that boy's father was in Viet Nam, and that's why this ugly little car was being raced today. My dad had the good sense to just nod approvingly at the specious story as he watched it spread through the crowd with growing amusement. Way back then my father clearly knew what would take me years to understand: Mormons love a good made up story -- truth be damned.