My dad is an ass and did not become bishop until I was in my early twenties. I always assumed TSCC delayed it for so long because he was such a jerk but then after so much tithing paid they were obligated to crown him Oh Holy Bishop.

When he was "training" (i.e. reading the handbook) he was asking me about if he would be obligated to report child abuse. (I was a teacher and had recently been schooled in requirements.) I was trying to say that he should. He was more interested in finding the loophole that would help him avoid.

My opinion is that as a spiritual leader to the abuser should encourage them to turn themselves in. Confession is part of the repentance process as is serving the consequences. If the abuser is instead allowed to feel that nothing needs to change they are much more likely to continue. "You abuse your kid, no big deal."

I don't get it. It doesn't help anyone. The victim or the abuser.

Oh wait, it helps the church.

Such a convoluted way of thinking that seems standard in Mormon culture. A damn shame.

When my dad became bishop I assumed they'd run out of men in the ward, and now that all his kids had left home there was nobody to complain about him.

He called me 2,000 miles away to ask me if a HS friend of mine was telling the truth about her brother raping her. Ummm, if he was, she wasn't announcing it, how would I know? If she said that's what happened why would you need to ask me? Her brother was certainly a slimy character. I wouldn't doubt it for a moment if he abused her. My father had no business telling what she talked to him about. I thought he was way out of line.

I guess there is no such thing as clergy confidentiality in the Mormon church -- what a creep, betraying a trust like that.

I wonder who else he told and how much damage it did.

So that's how spiritual spiritual discernment works, huh. Bishop uses a lifeline, phones a family member.

My mother had the same philosophy as your dad, sizterh. If you avoid it, deny it, "IT" will just magically melt out of sight.

When I attempted to reason with her stating some of the proven benefits of confronting unhealthy behaviors even if they lie in the past, she literally turned her head away from me, and it would not have surprised me to hear her say, "La, la, la, la, la," over and over again.

What she did say was nothing.

The "discussion?" was over before it began.