... I hate the Mormon church and ALL things mormon!
I feel better now.

I can soooo relate to those feelings about mormonism and how just saying the words on RFM to understanding ears can help a person feel better.

I have found that I have certain mormonism triggers that can either build up in intensity or some just come swigging out of the blue. Here, among other ex-mos or never-mos, I realize that I am not loosing it, that I am far from crazy, and that being in a cult leaves scars and tendencies for unhealthy behavior for all former members. We are like addicts in recovery---the road is full of ruts, turn-arounds, start-overs as we move forward on our journey.

One thing I've noticed recently is that I can't handle Mormons en masse. I can talk to them in groups of one or two but more than that, I start getting stressed and panicky. I realize it's an overreaction but it's still the reaction I have. Weird because I've let go of so much of Mormonism, I'm so much happier with my life now, I don't focus on Mormonism that much but when I start seeing too many of them, I just want to run.

I have full-blown PTSD. At Christmas time, I was manipulated into attending a friend's 40th aniversary party, at a country club. She said I was her best friend, and that she would feel bad if I didn't care enough to come. I offered to buy her any gift she wanted, and take her and her husband to their favorite restaurant, but no. The party was at night. It was all couples, and my boyfriend had died of a heart attack a few months previous. I drove there alone, so I could leave early. There was dancing, romantic sparkle and candle light, Mormon sacrament-meeting-type mauling and other PDA's. No one asked me to dance. No one responded when I asked them about their kids, complimented the food, or otherwise tried to start a casual conversation. I was stuck at a table with strangers--all couples. It was as though I was invisible. I went home to my dark house, and cried.

I decided that I loved myself, and did not want to put myself through that kind of torment ever again. Any friend would have been happy with a nice gift. There are so many other things to do, instead of go to big Mormon group functions! Johnny Carson used to turn down party invitations by saying, "No. I plan on cleaning my garage that weekend."

Don't let the Mormons get you down. You are not crazy. You are perfectly normal. The very next Saturday was a Christmas wedding reception. I cried while getting dressed, refused to put on panty hose, and decided to stay home. But I didn't want to let the Mormons ruin another party in honor of friends, so this time I drove with my son and his wife. Some of our younger friends and some of our non-Mormon cousins were there, to talk with. I wore pants, and when the dancing started, I went into the kitchen to help the bride and groom's friends who were working there--nice people cheerfully doing a good deed!

You can turn things around, by planning ahead, and being extra nice to yourself. Leave early if you aren't having a good time. Meet up with a friend at home, and go out for a frozen yogurt, if the evening is young, or grab a Redbox movie on your way home, and watch it in your pajamas with your dog. You can comfort yourself. You probably don't "hate" these people. They can be very rude, and can trap you into awkward situations, and even shun you, and deliberately try to make you feel left out and unpopular. Don't buy into it! Avoid these people, and concentrate on the people you like and enjoy. Fake a headache (they lie to you). or a previous engagement, or an emergency phone call.

Better yet, have your own Bah Humbug party, or a game night or movie night, or go out to dinner that night, instead. On the night of the ward Christmas party, we had a movie night. We each brought our favorite Christmas movie, and voted on which ones to watch. The Holiday and Christmas Story put us in the Christmas mood, more than a empty, echoing basketball court, and folding and putting away clanking chairs and tables, while kids run around screaming--with no tree and no Santa. Christmas and other occasions are so much better without the Mormon influence.

Insensitive Mormons, who'd a thought.
Gin and tonic sister.
Drink, and smile.

I know this might be an emotional question, but I have PTSD from Mormonism as well. I wondered what your Mormon experience was?

I know what you mean, when i left the church it cost me everything. My family, friends, education (for a while), finances, home, and world view all deteriorated and i had to start from scratch. I am so glad i got out and i know it's not the healthiest attitude but whenever i think of the church and how it is to this day manipulating the people i used to have relationships with it makes me really angry. Most of the time when i am angry like that i try to grow past it because it accomplishes nothing but in this case i really feel wronged and legitimately upset.

'Bout how I feel. This is my year for shouting it from the rooftops.

My too!

(As an aside Heynonny, you don't happen to be a renfester do you?)