I have a brother who is very offensive about my departure from TSCC, and is constantly griping about how offensive my wife and I are. We walk around him like on eggshells and are super kind and patient in the things we say. He has continued to offend my wife, so I kindly put the smack down on him and told him he's never to talk to her again, and told him about all the various ways he's hurt her feelings. But I did it all very tactfully and respectfully. If I'd received an email like that, even if I'd been hurt, I would have apologized for my part of the hurt that was given. Not this guy. Just more hurt on top of previous hurts.

Needless to say he's out of my life now, but it's been a topic of discussion for my wife and I. It seems that his crazy, made up perceptions of offense all stem from anger over my leaving TSCC. As I thought about this, I realized that on my mission, I so desperately needed people to believe in the gospel, because it validated my own belief. If I could just get people to believe the way I do, it means all this crap I endure in the church isn't for nothing - it must be true after all. All the stupid rules and cult-like control may actually be for my good and part of gods plan for me after all. And every rejection made it that much harder to continue believing...

My wife chimed in with another revelation: only cults freak out over members leaving their "church". No normal religion freaks out the way cults do. If you stop attending a vanilla Christian church, your family may not be pleased, but rarely is there any shunning or major guilt or torn family relations over it. Only cults do that, and I think it's because they so desperately need people to believe the way they do, to validate their own stupid beliefs and make sense of the inconsistencies.

"only cults freak out over members leaving their "church"."

Yup! You and your wife nailed his problem.

johnnybravo Wrote:
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> seems that his crazy, made up perceptions of
> offense all stem from anger over my leaving TSCC...
> ....only cults freak out over members leaving their
> "church". No normal religion freaks out the way
> cults do.....Only cults do that,
> and I think it's because they so desperately need
> people to believe the way they do, to validate
> their own stupid beliefs and make sense of the
> inconsistencies.

Did not consider this.
It seems this very characteristic in and by itself evidences their "cult-ness."
Kind of 'ipso facto' brilliant really.

Johnnybravo said:

>If I could just get people to believe the way I do, it means all the crap I endure in the church isn"t for nothing - it must be true after all.

Your thinking as a young mormon mishie that if you could bring converts into the church would help give validity to your being in it yourself was interesting to hear. Thanks for sharing this as I find it fascinating to learn what was going on in missionaries heads at the age they were in the mission field. I would not have thought of this possibility at all.

I thought of another plausible reason for your bro's attitude, kind of connected to your thinking on your mission. He likes being around you, talking with you, and without having that LD$ connection is lost how to do this or IF he dares seeing how you are an apostate and all.