Hey everyone,

I should probably introduce myself. I used to post here at StuDog years ago. I went through my "crisis of faith" after my first semester at BYU, but stuck it out and graduated. I've been ex-mo since 2004, and have been very at peace with that decision ever since.

These last few weeks though I've been feeling especially lonely. I'd rather skip the details for now, but just know I'm in a place where I don't particularly feel understood or validated. I am a good person, and I'm just feeling so sad today. God, I hate pathetic "I'm sad, please comfort me" posts on places like this, but to be honest I didn't know where else to turn, and I know that other people here often go through this. Thanks for listening.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2011 04:51PM by Susan I/S.

Do you like stuff?

We could chat about stuff you like. I'm not super busy at work today, and it has been very nice to just prowl the board for most of the day.

We exmos needs to sticks togethers!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2011 04:27PM by raptorjesus.

I seriously love that generic statement. I have no idea why, but I find it amusing. Thanks for putting a smile on my face on an otherwise sh5tty morning.

I wonder about the weather where you are, your relationships, stresses, what uncertainties you're dealing with, etc., but mostly, I wonder how hard you are on yourself.

Hey, not to feel bad about posting to improve the mood, we all have our turn. Is it snowing where you're at? Gray skies always bum me out. Or any number of things, but nothing a good reflection on how far I've come doesn't help. Along with a good cuppa coffee...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2011 04:52PM by Susan I/S.

It's ok to be bummed sometimes...this winter has been too long. You came to the right place to vent frustrations.



or do what Tosh suggests...


http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=3l3z5EAykVE

Good thoughts to you.

You know, asking for a little comfort isn't pathetic. I really hate it when people think asking for help or comfort means you're "weak." That's a load of crap. You ask for it when you need it! There is NOTHING wrong with that.

hey. Shit happens.

I will try to cheer you up with some links to some top funny stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH5vSHiAOAE&NR=1&feature=fvwp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nNGlaiVypU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMOrsWxh5mg

There. That should cheer you up. :o))

justaguy, I like to look at Failblog to cheer up. It's funny. A lot of us suffer depression. I'm half a century old, and I've learned that I prefer people with some salt in their lives. Listen to some blues music. Enjoy exmormon. Go easy on yourself, because life is hard.

I'm actually a former Catholic who almost converted to the Morg... but this site, among others convinced me not to...

After I finally accepted that the RC church wasn't where I belonged, I dealt with extrene guilt on my side, not prompted by anything other than me, my parents actually supported my decision to find myself spirtually (eventually leading me to the Episcopal Church) but the guilt remained for a long time, and it felt like a part of me I grew up with was gone forever. I was lonely and depressed and it was only when I admitted and accepted that I wanted to reach out to my real friends and my parents, who thank God love me unconditionally that I was able to move forward. Were all here for for you, all you have to do is reach out..

justaguy, every time I see your name the schoolhouse rock song "I'm just a bill" comes to mind. If you haven't seen it here is the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEJL2Uuv-oQ

Are you by any chance in Utah? If you are, that would explain your loneliness. When I resigned from the cult, I lost all of my neighborhood TBM "friends." I thought I was going crazy, but this board helped me to understand that I was being shunned. Others had had the same experiences, and that made me feel that I wasn't alone.

Mormon parents often learn to love only conditionally. Some people on this board have been disowned by their TBM parents when they leave. Some have had their spouse divorce them, and choose the cult over their marriage.

The Mormon cult breaks up families, and breaks up friendships.

It took me a couple of years to feel settled and at peace. Fortunately, I have some good, loyal childhood friends, from California, who are stuck in Utah, too. Several of my favorite relatives (with salt in their lives) have left the cult also. My children and I are closer than ever. The only real arguments we ever had were about that stupid church, and now all that contention and family divisiveness is gone.

The Mormon cult stresses social popularity too much! It is because they want "every member to be a missionary," to recruit other tithe payers. Give me a break! In real life, no one has all that many friends. The average number of friends for an adult is 4-5 for a woman, and 2-3 for a man.

The Mormon leaders fear solitude, because that is an occasion for people to think. I was terribly lonely at first, in my empty nest, in a hostile neighborhood, but now enjoy my alone time, and spend some of it reading all that great literature that I was not encouraged to read, and studying up on science and philosophy, etc. Get out in nature, even if it is snowing. The world has been transformed to glowing white, and right now is lighted by a full moon--you could see to read in my back yard.

Depression is like a wild animal that stalks you and then pounces when you least expect it.

If you need someone to talk to I have 1000 rollover minutes that expire next month.

I think my TBM wife, who married me knowing I was an atheist, is finally (you know, after 2.5 years) coming to grips with the fact that I'm not ever going back to the church.

When we were engaged I made that perfectly clear on multiple occasions, and she always said she understood and was fine with that, she wanted to marry me for who I am, etc. But lately she has seemed very distant and strange.

I found this really funny when I saw this, put a smile to my face in my most depressed time recently:

http://endofworld.net

Are the circumstances contributing to this something you can do something about or do you just have to ride them out. Hope you will feel better soon.

I feel your pain!

Take it for what it's worth but I really think the weather this year has got a lot of people down (seasonal depression), combine that with what's going on with your wife (maybe she has SD too) along with the transition process out of the cult and all of that would take almost anyone to a sad place.

The thing that has helped me the most to work though depression and all of the crazy stuff you have to deal with from the church, etc (besides RFM, and other boards) was journal writing but not the same kind of animal that the Morg would have you do.

I can't recommend this highly enough! Basically, just find yourself a notebook and just dump your thoughts on it for three full pages every day for as long as you can (several months or more did the job for me). This should be uncensored thought. Write as fast as you can whatever comes to mind-the good, the bad, the ugly. I had a lot of angry rants. I had a lot of crazy stuff to write down and I would never want anyone to see it but it helped me detox all of the junk from my childhood and the church, etc. Don't worry about spelling, sentence structure, grammar, etc just dump it all and move on as quickly as possible.

I know is won't fix things by tomorrow but it really worked for me! No more depression now for more than 8 years. Getting out of the Morg I'm sure was a big help too!

Good luck!!!