Hey, perhaps someone will know this.

I've been to the local UU congregation a couple of times and like it a lot. The issue is, I don't know what to do about when they pass the offering basket around...things are super tight for us, and it's a big deal for me to drive 30 minutes each way (or else I'd do it more often), and so more often then not, I'm lucky if I have pocket change that I didn't have to use to buy something important, like salt.

Should I talk to the minister? Should I not attend when I can't afford to put something, even a couple of dollar bills? What is the appropriate thing to do here?

Really - I have been UU for many years. If you look around discreetly you will see that plenty of people put nothing in. The real money for running the congregation comes from the annual pledge drive during which everyone is asked to commit whatever they can for the coming year. 1% to 3% of income is encouraged if you can do it. Otherwise, any pledge is welcome and no pledge is also OK.

Do talk to the minister if you are in a financial fix for food or other essentials. She or he likely has a discretionery fund to help people out in emergencies. In my congregation, the standing committee (the group that runs the church) provides a certain amount of the budget for our minister to use as she sees fit in the way of emergency help.

Trust me, they want you there. Let the offering basket pass you by, and donate only when you get back on your feet financially.

I am also curious if other churches keep track of how much you tithe and if they hold "settlements" at the end of the year...

At my catholic church we have a basket that goes by for a specified charity that is announced beforehand. At the end of mass, you can donate to the church. Every month there is a newsletter that is distributed with how much money went to x charity and how much money went to the church. If you haev more questions, just ask and there will be no scoffing!

Also, if ya dont wanna pay, dont pay!

...you are asked to make a yearly pledge so that the church can draw up a budget. But this is not legally binding. With few exceptions, there is no certain percentage expected, although some churches may give a suggested percentage. I would say in a range of 1-3% of gross is the normal amount that is donated, although it might go up to 5% for some people. Ten percent of gross would be rare. Catholics tend to donate on the lower end of that range.

Church members can write checks and send them in at regular intervals, they can put envelopes with checks or cash in the basket, or they can put cash in the basket. People who do not put anything in the basket might very well be sending the money some other way. It's perfectly okay to not put anything in the basket. Really, they want you there.

It's truly amazing what other churches can fund in the way of professionally trained clergy, organists, youth workers, administrative help, custodians, etc. with just 1-3% of your income as opposed to the 10%+ that the Morg demands. Church members can sit back, relax, and enjoy the service without having to wear themselves out with numerous callings. Certainly there are volunteer opportunities for those who are inclined, but those jobs are absolutely not manditory.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2011 08:08PM by summer.

hold pledge drives late in the year (around Oct. or Nov.) and ask members to pledge how much they plan to give in the upcoming year. This is so the church finance committee can form a budget, since each local church is responsible for their own income and expenses.

ONLY ONE person ever knows how much any person has pledged, and keeps track during the year of how much they have given. This will NOT be the pastor who NEVER knows how much any person has given or will give. They keep track not to judge the person, but to see if there is a trend. If a large percentage are giving less during the year than pledged, then the finance committee can make adjustments during the year on discretionary spending to try to stay within budget.

The finance committee will also know typically what percentage of income may be expected from those who don't pledge, so they can have a rough idea of what to "expect" (but not necessarily count on). In the church I attend, that is typically about 40% of the total income (60% from the pledged amounts).

The other reason that ONE person keeps track of pledges, is to send out notices at the end of the year for tax purposes for those who are claiming deductions on income tax.

There is no settlement. If a person pledges $2000, but only gives $1000, only the one person knows, and they just send out a statement to the person they gave $1000 which they can use for tax purposes.

As msmom said, typically most churches are happy if a person can give 1% to 3%, and don't expect anything if a person can't afford it.

Every March we lay out the budget for the upcoming year and how we are doing against last year's budget. We include how much we received from the congregations pledges, how much from each week's offerings and how much from groups or individuals in the community who rent our building space. We also have income from Verizon which has a cell phone tower hidden within our steeple.

We say what we need and then everyone is asked to return a pledge form. The pledge committee has people assigned to call on everyone in the congregation if they want to be called on. I was one of these people once and I HATED it. I had to ask people if they wanted to be called on. A very low key way of asking for money, but it was still asking for money! Fortunately, if there is a UU church job you hate, you never have to do it again.

I always pledge and I always put myself on the do not call list.

Throughout the year I hand in payments on my pledge. Sometimes in the form of a check dropped in the collection basket with the notation, "pledge payment." Later I receive an email receipt. A few times per year the "collector" sends me a spreadsheet saying what I pledged and how much I have paid.

When we are running short of funds, a team meets and decides what we may need to cut in what order if we can't get ahold of some extra bucks. Then they let the congregation know what the problem is and get input into what might be cut.

So far we have not had to cut anything. AND we have a custodian!

Some churches send you envelops for the collection which have your name on them. If you use them, and it is optional, they will send you a statement at the end of the year which you can use when deducting it from your income taxes.That is the purpose. I have never heard of any other reason or anyone being told they didn't give enough. Nobody has to give anything, there is no such thing as tithing settlement and many people do not put money in the collection plate every week.There may be exceptions, but that is my experience in the churches that I have attended.If you are self conscious about not giving or giving too little, put a dollar or whatever in a plain envelope. That was no one will know, not that people really care.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2011 08:03PM by bona dea.

At my Catholic parish, we're able to set up direct withdrawal from our bank to the church. Of course the parish loves this, because it's automatic, etc., which saves some work on whoever has to count the money and keep track of everyone's tax deduction. But the point is we'll see lots of people not putting in anything, so other parishioners will never know whether they do the automatic thing or just not able to (or don't want to) donate right now.

Like people mentioned above, I've never heard of anyone feeling shaken down.

That was exactly what I wanted to know...

And thanks for the information, MsMom. Don't worry about us too much, we have a roof over our heads (that isn't shared with the in-law's anymore, thankfully), food, and warm clothing. The whole story is complicated, but for the moment, we're stuck here, with my husband working telephone sales and nights at Walmart until we can pay some debts. Then we're hoping to get somewhere he can work a better job, and I can go back to school (and therefor actually contribute).

...that there is absolutely no shaming involved. You know those stories of people walking out of Mormon tithing settlements with tears streaming down their faces because they could not pay a full tithe? Not going to happen in the mainstream churches.

Pay a little or pay nothing, and you will not be shamed in any way whatsoever. You will not be denied the full blessings and benefits of the church.

Isn't that the way it should be?

Oh, and vasalissasdoll, I know some kids who were raised UU and they were the best people -- well adjusted, tolerant, and with great values. If you feel comfortable with the UU's I would like to encourage you to consider it as your family church.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2011 08:19PM by summer.

I'm on my church's council, and my calling, to borrow a term, is to stewardship. Toward the end of each year, we ask our members to give an estimate of what they hope to give the following year. This slip only asks for an amount - no name - and is placed by the member in a locked box in the sanctuary. We also ask what members would be willing to give of their time and talents - what groups committees, activities, events, etc., that they would be interested in if the need arises. It's all a very low key affair, not designed to exalt the rich or embarrass the poor. If you're not able to give, you're not looked down upon (I'm sure it does happen, but I've not noticed).

When the plate comes around, you can always just put in a dollar or two. We used to put in $5 when visiting churches. That's a fair price for a good sermon. But once you commit yourself to a congregation, it is a good idea to support it as you are able. Unless there is an envelope or slip with your name on it, nobody is going to know how much you donate.

Many churches have a financial clerk who counts and deposits the monies, and he or she will be the only one who knows who does or does not contribute.

The congregation we like to attend passes the plate around and people have their own envelopes and are given reoports on their offerings. One the first Sunday of the month, all loose monies are sent to charity, so we use cash on that day.

At any rate, few churches are as focused on your cash as theLDS are and they are appreciative of what and when you can help out. How you support them is up to you and what you think is fair.

If you have no money to spare, maybe you can set up chairs or other things to help out.

At the churches I have attended, most people just put cash in the plate and don't use the envelopes. That way no one knows, except maybe the person next to you and he probably assumes that you have given another way, if he thinks about it at all.Some people give once a year or mail it in.Lots of people just put in a dollar and lots don't put in anything for whatever reason. The advantages of the envelopes is you have something to show the IRS if you get audited and you don't have to keep track.

They do have fund drives from time to time, but nobody puts personal pressure on you. They may send you a letter about it and mention it in church, but if you don't participate, you won't get shaming phone calls or repeated letters..

Baptist & Non-denom. Christian, they pass the plate & you can put in or not, entirely up to you. No pressure to drop something in the plate.

I usually put a check in the offering plate and at one church, they sent me a 1099 in Jan for taxes. Which was very nice b/c I'd never thought of deducting my church offerings till then!

Other churches don't shame people for not contributing a full 10%, as they understand that there are times when a full 10% isn't possible. There are also other ways people can contribute if they're not able to do so financially, whether it's volunteering for the church-run food bank or soup kitchen, or helping the needy in another way such as collecting diapers and baby supplies to be donated to the battered women's shelter. I went to a UCC church that did that type of drive, and I thought it was something you would never see the Mormon church do.

Your presence adds to the quality of worship. Put something in the basket when you can do it without worry. Seriously.

http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/ (2/21/11)

When a collection plate comes around you put in what you can or nothing. Some wks. it is pathetic what I put in. Other wks. I make up for it. Our church has envelopes with our name on...I do not even use those the wks. I have so little. And some families pay by the Mo.- only putting money in one Sun. a month. I am sure some pay by the yr. also. If you don't want to be given a slip at the end of the yr. for taxes don't let it be known what you put in. Tithing in most churches is purely individual and most pastors don't harp about it more than once or twice a yr. and it is done in a sermon....never directly at a family. Enjoy your new experiences in other churches.

Our Parish sees envelopes in the basket, change, paper $...

We do our checks weekly and decided what we will give...but you don't have to do it.

Volunteering...if you can do that...it's do what you can do...and don't worry about it.

You never meet anyone who says...but you didn't pay your full amount..

The only time I heard this was from my growing up Presbyterian church when two guys came...my husband was Catholic..

They said, if you don't pledge your name will be removed from the membership...I told them go ahead and do it..

It was not removed...but it is now since I'm a Catholic convert...

stormy