Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: DNA ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 12:29PM

This is a bit of facebook craziness today.

"ok this question is for those who go to church each week, do most of you have a certain spot that is where you set every week?? How would it make you feel if you have been setting in "Your Spot" for over 7 years and someone wanted to take your spot? grrrrrr now I have to get out of bed earlier just to get to church ear...lier so that I can Keep "MY SPOT". yeah sounds a little shallow!!!(but its my spot)"

Responses to it:

"I relate to that!!! When we moved to Price several years ago we got to church and found a seat. A couple of elderly ladies sat on the row behind us and the one said to the other "I guess we will have to get here earlier to sit on our bench." After that week we avoided that bench!"

"Haha. My Mom and Dad have sat in the same spot for 16 years."

"Yep we sit on the 4th row in the middle on the right...and when you have those baby blessings it really throws everything off! My hubby goes early to get our bench."

And there was more like that.

I knew that some people sat in the same places, I just didn't know that they got bent out of shape if someone else sat there. Is it only a matter of time before there is a youtube video of a cat fight over who gets to sit on a bench at church?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 12:41PM

...and the front rows are open for the families that need to make a show of how righteous they are.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: shannon ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 02:51PM

ginormous families like mine who can never get to church on time. We had to parade the whole bunch to the front of the chapel to grab the only open pew left.


Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: mick ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 12:53PM

My parents as far back as I could remember made us sit right in the front row. Everybody in the ward knew that was our bench. I haven't been to church in many years and the family has gone in separate directions. So I'm not sure if my parents still sit there by themselves or not, or weither or not they have to share that bench with anyone.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: chipsnsalsa ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 03:37PM

Mick, my family sat in the front row but for a different reason -- nobody wanted sit there in our ward! Since our family was always AT LEAST 15 mins late to sacrament meeting it was extra embarrassing to have all eight of us file in and walk down to the front row! Awful!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: angsty ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 01:22PM

all the large families were ASKED by the bishop to come early and sit in the front pews. It was embarrassing, but we did it every week. Eventually that bishop was released and we reverted to our back-row ways.

My mother said sitting in the front row made us easier to handle because we were less-inclined to behave badly if the whole ward was going to see it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: angsty ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 01:23PM

A woman in my MIL's old ward literally sat on my MIL as a means of bullying her into moving out of "her" seat. It was quite exciting. Even though I know she hates me half the time, her refusal to back down to Sister Bully's demands makes me love her forever.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 01:26PM

I've always noticed all the things people have pointed out (the ones trying to look righteous sitting up front, etc.).

I ALWAYS sat at the back--ALWAYS. It made it easier to escape with the kids . . . and walk home. I'd always get "the look" from my ex for leaving.

BUT it was always so amazing how territorial people were about their "bench."

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: DNA ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 01:31PM

Wow, I didn't know this was a big deal. I must have pissed all kinds of people off without knowing it. It would have been more fun if I had known :)

I had to be content to piss people off by slyly getting their kids all riled up :)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elaine ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 01:43PM

It isn't just church. People do that in restaurants, too.

One time, my mother and I were sitting in a booth at a restaurant we went to a lot in the small town where we lived, and a couple came in and right up to the table and told us we had to move becasue we were sitting at "their" table. Excuse me? We were already part way through our meal. They got extremely angry when I said no.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 01:53PM

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: CA girl ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 02:37PM

MIL went to church on Sunday, back in the 70s and someone made a snippy comment about how MIL had sat in her row. MIL got mad and didn't go back to church for 9 months - or let her husband pay tithing.

I think that's why my DH doesn't worry too much about my inactivity. He thinks it's just a tiff that I'll eventually get over. He's more of an emotional-type person and I'm more of a thinker so he can't relate as well to my thinking my way out of belief. He's sure it's something I'll get over.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: SweetZ ( )
Date: October 26, 2010 09:06AM

wow sounds like a genuine case of leaving TSCC because you were "offended"

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: vhainya ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 02:51PM

Her ward is tiny, never grows, and she's been bishop's wife twice. She sits in the last pew so she can do her own head count of all the fans who show up. She tends to hold grudges and I could just imagine the everlasting resentment she'd have if anyone ever dared to take her spot on the pew. I doubt she'd say anything to the person. She would just sit in the pew in front of them and complain all the way through church about it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: blindmag ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 05:03PM

My family always sat on the front row rigyht in the middle. I hated it and the biship knew it I fell asleep inh the bench evrey sunday because sitting silently wile bright elights overhead were giveing me a headake always was a recepie for me snoreing. I hated constantly everyne able to look at me yet I coudnt go anywhere. I now have issues about people seeing more of me than I can of them.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 05:04PM

We were out of town for the weekend visiting extended family for a baby blessing. We sat in the only empty pew a few rows from the front, so my wife could see better. We froze our rear ends off, because the A/C was blowing right on us the whole time. A woman in the next pew back whispers to my wife halfway through the meeting-"No one sits in that row because its too cold there".

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: October 11, 2010 06:43PM

At the church I sometimes attend I sit in the back row; the pew is against the wall. That is because I walk with crutches and have trouble getting up after I have been sitting for a while. Folks are quite friendly about it; one of the elders said "I suppose you are lucky we aren't kneelers like Catholics and Lutherans." I thought that was funny. This elder, btw, is a woman.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Hervey Willets ( )
Date: October 24, 2010 03:02PM

No rising for the creed, no kneeling for the consecration, and I was never hassled for it. In fact, one of the priests was going to bring me Communion where I sat. I had to wave him off though, I was already on my road to agnosticism, and our Lord and Savior is a dry flavorless cracker that stick to the roof of your mouth--Bad Jesus!!! In a way it was a shame, Mass was the best aerobic exercise I got all week. And I used to take pride in kneeling ramrod straight, without resting my butt on the pew like some slackers around me. (Now, even if I could kneel up straight, my butt would be reaching all the way back to the pew anyway :-P ).

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: DNA ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 11:39AM

But more people admitted being mad when someone sat on "their" bench. And others said that they go to church early to get their spot.

I read them to my wife last night and she was shocked. She couldn't believe it. She said that I have crazy friends. They were actually friends of a friend, but crazy indeed. I knew that some people sat in roughly the same spots every week, I just didn't know the extent that they thought they owned it. And I didn't know how pissed that they got if someone sat there.

It was amazing to find out what is going on that was off my radar.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: AmIDarkNow? ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 11:50AM

They would come early and lay out a spread of scriptures then go back home. Well that didn't mean squat to old AmIDarkNow?!

Those scriptures got relocated to make room for real people.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: george ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 12:04PM

Twelve members of my family sit together near the rear. We fill the entire row, great for passing babies to us grandparents. When another daughter visits with her seven children, we take up two complete rows. I liked the location during proposition 8, since I could stand and slam the rear side door on the way out of the chapel.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 12:51PM

A newcomer arrives early for mass at a parish in a city centre and sits down a few rows from the back. Every person who walks in gives him a strange look: from annoyance to puzzlement. He's about to get up and leave when an old man comes in and stops to greet him.

"You must be new here," he says.

The newcomer is relieved. "Thank you for at least acknowledging me. So many people have just walked by and given me dirty looks. This must be the most unfriendly parish in the city."

"Oh, it's not that bad," replied the old man. "Most of the people are nice once you get to know them. I've been coming to this parish for fifty years, and I can tell you that we're a friendly community."

"Well, you must know everyone here," replied the newcomer.

"Heavens no!" said the old man. "So many comings and goings... I can never keep track."

"But then... how did you know I was new?" asked the new guy.

"Because you're sitting in my seat," came the reply.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Peter ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 03:37PM

People tend to feel territorial not just at church, but anywhere. It is not a church thing, it is just a psychology thing.

At school, I like to mess with people by sitting in a different chair each week. People have never said anything, but I know that secretly they are bent out of shape. I do it just to amuse myself. (wow, I must really be starved for entertainment)

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: angsty ( )
Date: October 24, 2010 01:48PM

We got on bad terms after I chose to sit in a seat that prevented him and his talkative friends from all sitting in a group together. I did it on purpose to break them up because they talk through lectures like assholes. The class is packed and there aren't many seating options with a good view of the powerpoint screen.

Every class period, my 'enemy' comes in a a few minutes too late and says "I really need to get here earlier so we don't have to sit close to 'evil energies'". Then, when they get to talking, I give them the stink-eye, and/or ask them to can it. I don't want to be a bitch, but I'm there to learn. I love that class. The teacher was my thesis director and he's a lot more interesting than this twerp and his middling MCAT scores (I know all his business because he talks so much).

I don't see why they don't just find themselves a spot in the back where their talking won't bother so many people.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: matt ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 07:41PM

People are the same about seats in bars and pubs, too.

Once went to pub in Brum. There was a seat with a plaque on it: "This was the seat of pub regular xxxxxx. He died sitting in it on the night of..."

We didn't sit there. Just in case! ;o))

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: scarecrowfromoz ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 07:53PM

Remember the "Friends" episode where someone took over the couch where they always sat at the cafe? I seem to remember an episode of "Cheers" where Norm came in and told someone to get off his seat. Both episodes were just mimicking what happens in real life everyday.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: happycat ( )
Date: October 12, 2010 11:08PM

Any spot that affords me the wall, to lean my droopy cat head. is fine by me.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: justleft ( )
Date: October 13, 2010 12:12AM

My family had a spot too, although no one wanted it because it was the front row. Ironically, I had to have a spot later on in my adulthood because of a wheat allergy and the poor little deacons couldn't find me to give me my tray unless I was in the same spot. It got a little hairy on "Kiddie Sunday" AKA: The Primary Presentation.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: New Victoria ( )
Date: October 13, 2010 03:37AM

Being a germ-phobe, I would usually sit in the very back sead, against the partition. The pews were lined practically on top of each other, and I hated feeling that breeze on my hair when the person behind me would cough. A child sitting on a parent's lap was practically talking in my ear. In our ward, parents would even make little beds on the bench, for their desperately ill, feverish children to lie down.

Anywhere but there!

I did get offended! We were new in our ward, and my kids didn't want to go to the stake Christmas fireside, so I went alone. The stake center was very crowded, but there were a few empty spaces in the front. I walked to the front and sat down as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. The person next to me whispered, "I'm sorry, this seat is taken," so I got up, and went to the next empty seat, which was in the middle of the row, and I had to climb over everyone's knees, and the men stood up. I was almost there, when some people whispered, "We're saving these seats!" I had to turn around and go back, making the men stand up again. One last try, and I chose a shorter bench, but said full-voice from the aisle, "Is someone saving that space?" The answer was "yes." I was humiliated, but walked up the aisle with a smile and a shrug, and just left. There was no way I was staying.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Toy Soldier ( )
Date: October 13, 2010 05:20AM

During a Ward Council, the Bishop talked about breaking barriers within the ward, and get us out of our comfort zones.

My immediate response was to suggest asking everyone to change where they sat during Sacrament meeting, and to try and sit next to different people.

My second response was to cordon off the back two rows, so that 2/3 of the congregation would have to find somewhere else to sit.

Although these ideas got some mutterings of agreement, they were never put into action!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: JoD3:360 ( )
Date: October 13, 2010 08:44AM

The thing is, you sit in a spot for several weeks after you start attending and that just becomes your place. You feel awkward on the other side. You just feel better in your usual area. It was good to be at meetings before church because you could plop your books down in your favorite seat to reserve for when the family gets there.

But when I go to the Stake building I always sat on the other side, or wherever people I knew were sitting.

And in Priesthood, my usual place was in the middle.
And in Bishopric meeting and PEC, I always had one place I sat. Anywhere else was a bother. I'm a silly guy.

I grew up on a dairy farm, and we had several cows who would not enter the barn unless their stall was open. You could push, slap them all you want but until their favorite stall opens, your're just pushing against dead weight...or get kicked.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: thinkaboutit ( )
Date: October 24, 2010 01:39PM

You do not OWN a pew in a church building, sorry.

It is rude to ask someone to move out of seat, just because you think you "OWN" that seat. You don't.

If you want to keep sitting in the same place, make sure you get to church really early. If its that important to you. Although I have no idea why sitting in the same seat would be important to anyone.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: forestpal ( )
Date: October 24, 2010 01:53PM

By the way, people sit. Hens set.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: You got to be kidding... ( )
Date: October 26, 2010 08:15AM

People suck...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nwmcare ( )
Date: October 26, 2010 08:45AM

As a nevermo from a heavily Catholic family (you're either Catholic or TBM) I have to laugh--we Catholics have a joke about getting to church early so we can get the best seats--IN THE BACK!

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
       **  ********   **    **  **    **  ******** 
       **  **     **   **  **   ***   **  **       
       **  **     **    ****    ****  **  **       
       **  **     **     **     ** ** **  ******   
 **    **  **     **     **     **  ****  **       
 **    **  **     **     **     **   ***  **       
  ******   ********      **     **    **  **