The elder's corum president axed my wife the other week if we'd be ok having home teachers over. My wife said that it would be fine if they dropped by to see how we were doing and offer assistance, but that we would not be open for any kind of "teaching."
The hometeachers contacted me last week and set up an appointment to drop by and meet us last night, and I was a little nervous about it, but I figured that best case scenario, they would be cool and worse case scenario-- I would kick them out of my house.
They came by and everything was fine. They had clearly heard and understood that teaching was not acceptable. They never asked, church never came up (other than just telling us a little bit about the ward make up), and they didn't even offer a prayer in the home that I would have had to reject.
It was a nice visit with neighbors, and after such my wife and I were talking about it and she lamented that the church would be great if it weren't a church--but more of social club. If it focused simply on the aspects of service and looking out for people, and if the leadership weren't so corrupt.
I agreed with her and said that it was very unfortunate that most members are good people who are trying their hardest to BE good people and that unfortunately the leadership is so focused on being either a business (or shouting about how CORRECT its "doctrine" is) that it really misses a lot of opportunities.
It is nice to see wards organize so quickly to donate items to disaster relief, but it is infuriating how quickly the leadership pats itself on the back for these efforts and contributes very little money at the top (the real power the church could possess) for the efforts that were really only taken by the membership. And that's just one example.

Oh well I guess.

Cuz then they wouldn't have the power over people to make 'em do ever'thing their way. They use the promise of a good forever or a crappy forever and hold it over your head. It's all power, ain't got nuthin to do with faith.

Just my opinion...

Yer glad-2-B-a-dog Pal,

Reggie

Plus the money. It's always about money.

Power + control = money

It is ALWAYS about P.O.P.
Pay Obey Pay

Sneaky bastards.

Just sayin'...

Ron

Like you should join the Elks, Eagles, Moose or some other fraternal organization. Most now have women as full members, without needing a male sponser.

Not to mention the fact that the drinks are cheap.

My parents have had hometeachers come to visit them for years, and I've never really understood why. My mom is never-Mo and my dad hasn't been active since his teen years (I'm not sure if he still considers himself to be a member). The hometeachers come every couple of months just to sit and visit. Sometimes they bring a treat or small gift. They never do any proselytizing, not even a prayer. They just ask how things are going and sit and chat for an hour or so. They've had various neighbors over the years.

For me, if they don't want preach and come over, it is the same as having neighbors visit just to visit.

Plus, I want people to know that I am perfectly fine and happy without the church's teachings. Anyone is welcome in my home to sit and visit if they want to do just that whether they are Mormons or not. So, this is me putting that belief into practice.

So you also have an agenda of your own to push.

I do have an "agenda" to push. I don't believe that "agendas" are inherently bad or good. They want to come over to visit (it's presumptive to give them exactly what reasons they want to visit. Maybe it's because they want 'credit' from church, or maybe it's because they genuinely care about other people.)

Yes, part of my "agenda" is for them to know that just because they are Mormon, and I am not doesn't mean they aren't welcome in my house. Their teaching is not welcome in my house, but they are. And the missionaries are welcome in my house too for the same reasons.

I was a member of this church, and I grew up with myths about "apostates," and I would like to actually try what I can do to change those myths.

And I would absolutely/and have invited door to door salesmen into my home for potty breaks and water etc. with them knowing that I'm not interested to buy.

I do think it's great that they are friends with these neighbors, who they probably wouldn't have known nearly so well if it weren't for the hometeacher program. I also think it's great that these men have actually stuck to my parents' requests not to proselytize. Knowing my mom, she would be very hurt and uncomfortable with that sort of behavior. The only reason I question all of this is because it's an assignment from the church instead of a natural friendship. Are these guys reporting back to someone and talking about the conversations behind my parents' backs? I really don't know, since I left the church before ever getting this sort of calling. I think they just check in to make sure my parents don't need help with anything and see how they're doing, but it's just a strange system to me. But as long as they don't get pushy and respect my parents, it really doesn't concern me much. I think my dad would feel comfortable asking them to stop coming if it were a nuisance.

kind of depends on how you define it. When hometeachers are assigned to "inactives" like me and your parents, the hometeachers will report that they visited, and occasionally the people they report to may ask, "were you able to 'teach'?" At which point the hometeachers will say, "no."

That's usually where it ends. Sometimes you'll get someone in the leadership who is more zealous and will push the hometeachers to try their hardest to "teach" at each visit, but most of the hometeachers will push back and say something to the effect of, "if you want me to keep visiting these people, then I just cannot and will not teach, otherwise I will lose contact with them."

Yes, it is kind of a bizarre program because of the "assigned" friend thing, but I have gotten lucky a few times and have actually liked a hometeacher enough to hang out with them away from hometeaching.

I have also been bored out of my mind from certain hometeachers because they were just boring, boring people. But I stand by my decision to have a welcoming home, as long as people don't preach at me.

And if they do, it's usually them who get very very offended and leave quickly. I can turn the blaspemy up to 11.

I was reading some e-mails a few weeks ago on the family computer. Dh is the H.P. secretary so he gets lots of e-mails. For some reason I read one (snoop,snoop)and it was from the bishop about home teaching. There were back and forths between him and the h.P. presidency. He said it was MANDATORY,from the SP that even do not contacts (dnc) must be contacted. The bishop didn't care how it was done,but it must be done. The home teachers must make numerous attempts,each month,to contact and hear from dnc's. He made a big deal about it. I wanted to call bish and tell him exactly what I thought of their stupid,disrespectful,self righteous plan. And you know all the men are going to obey.

This screams "CULT!"

is to further the church agenda.

Any other consideration is secondary. Would we invite a vacuum cleaner salesman in to chat if he promised to keep his wares in the car? Possibly, but we and he would know he's itching to sell with the slightest encouragement.

The idea of iviting a neighbor to chat makes sense as long as they're not getting credit for it at church and they're not there representing anyone but themselves. But when they step into a calling before they come into a home, anyone who is realistic must know that the visit is based on coercion. They're forced to be there and they're required to insert religion into the conversation if and whenever possible at some future point.

Meh, I like it when my hometeachers come over. I'd be dissapointed if they stopped comming. Great guys, they visit faithfully once a month. Sometimes they share a short quote, or something from one of the "Bretheren" I even allow them to say a prayer before they leave.

I've made it clear where I stand on the church in no uncertain terms. They listen respectfully to concerns I've expressed over various items, like proposition 8, or the recent comments from Elder Packer for example.

I enjoy their company and to me the insight they share on college football is worth a small amount of benign agenda advancement.

It doesn't have to be a big deal. And if they are cool people, then it is simply a nice visit from nice people.

...would they still stop by to visit? In most cases, probably not. They are an assigned friend.

I agree with Cheryl, they are there to further the church agenda, and they believe they are doing their "duty" to visit you. Their secondary agenda is hoping you eventually "see the light". Probably third on the list is being neighborly, but that definitely comes AFTER the above mentioned.

If you keep this in mind, and still don't mind the visits, and the fact that they may report whatever it is you say to them to others in the ward, then why not, right?

As an inactive I'd have HT/VT over but I became increasingly irritated over the years knowing they were only visiting because they thought it was their duty. I want someone to visit me because we are friends, not because they are assigned to visit.

I imagine it might be rather pleasant for them to have the opportunity to visit a home where all they had to do was visit and they could forget about the damn lesson and prayer.

I second Raptorjesus, emmadee and rj's comments!

We never talked about anything but church. I would answer perfunctory questions about my children, whom they never knew personally. Sometimes they would brag about their large number of grandchildren, but never tell me their names or any details.

Sad. We never went to lunch, shopping, or a movie together. They came into our home, but we were never invited into theirs, except if there was a church function there, or if I was to play the piano for a Christmas party or something. Even though I was very active and social in the ward, the members were not the kind of neighbors you would borrow a cup of sugar from.

Having assigned relationships only underscored the fact that I was marginalized, as a single divorced working mother. I did have five really great Mormon friends in the neighborhood--all divorced single mothers, like me. They felt the same way I did.

"assigned relationships"


A phrase that speaks volumes ...