An apostle specifically warned my sister's stake that they would need their food storage in the next 6 months.

My bishop was inspired by God to let me know how filthy I was in the sight of God for masturbating when I was a 14 year old boy.

I felt the spirit of some dude from 16th century Spain thanking me for attending the temple and not falling asleep.

I baptized my best friend from the pre-existence.

I played professional baseball.

That's the man who held me when my parents died.

That's okay, I invented pie and underwire bras.

Ron

Salamanders represent ancient spirits.

Sasquatch killed Abel.

Well, I actually just jammed my face in a hat, but admitting that would just sound crazy!

"I hold in my hand, that very copy, with the corner turned down"

No wait that wasn't MY lie- that was Elder Holland in October 2009 General Conference. The real book was featured in DesNews and was engraved and has a smaller fold in the page.

Here's anothr lie I posted-
Thomas Marsh left the church afte a dispute between his wife and a neighbor--
No, that wasn't my lie either- that one was invented by George A Smith in 1862, told in the Tabernacle while brother Marsh was there...there is no evidence what-so-ever that that story was true.

"I think we've all been spiritually fed today."

I confess;

I was not a WWII war hero in the Pacific, and I'm sorry I made lots of money selling books and tapes of my false heroic stories.

I have a dog that I trained to bark all of the Articles of Faith songs.