I went on facebook just now, and one of my friends had this as her status update:

"A true friend doesn't care when you're broke, being a bi***, what you weigh, WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE PISSED, if your house is a mess, what you drive, about your past, or if your family is filled with crazy people. They love you for who you are. Re-post if you have at least one true friend. They will know who they are!!!!!"

I've never been able to be REALLY close or true friends with a mormon, because mormon friendship is always so conditional. Not only because 95% of them are just being nice because the church is making them, but also because most won't give you the time of day if you don't:

- Go to church every Sunday, and any other activities you are invited to.
- Take on any calling you are given, weather you really have the time to or not.
- Get sealed in the temple.
- Have kids.
- Be (or support) a stay at home mom.

Their friendship comes and goes with your chruch involvement. Plus, its really easy to get tired of hanging with them, because all they ever talk about is church activity, like there is just no world beyond it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2010 02:05AM by melissa3839.

I had a pretty close mormon friend at one time. I was woking with her horses on a hot and sweaty day and started walking down the street wearing jeans, and tank top over my sports bra while playing with my dog. she told me to go home because the young women in the ward might see me outside from their windows.(this is in utah happy valley neighborhood) I would be a bad example to them. Comments like that really creeped me out that i did not want to be around her as often ( I have not been endowed so I have never worn garments)


So I can see where you are coming from. true friends should respect you and not make rude comments especially if your not making rude critizing comments to them

When I was in the primary, all my friends were in the primary. The same with Scouts, YW, SS, RS.

When I moved to Utah and became the organist, I was lonely--except for the 2-4 requests every week for me to accompany people, and all the party invitations for me to play the piano, choir, road shows, fashion shows, weddings, funerals, school musicals, rehearsals, etc. I was one of those people who was too busy to spend time with my real friends.

As long as I kept playing, I was "popular." Yet, I never socialized outside of the buildings, was never invited into their homes, not invited out to lunch or a movie, to play tennis, or anything friends would do--why?--because I was a divorcee! A single working mother! Thus, my Mormon friends were single, too, and when they got married, they were friends with only couples.

There was a thread about National Unfriend Day, which I really identified with. I am so sick of being shunned as an apostate, now. When I'm honest about it, I really don't want to be friends with rude, negative, critical, boring people who make me depressed. Well, I'm being rude--would be more polite to say that "we have nothing in common."

Exactly, that's the thing, they don't even see that in all their efforts to "convert", they are really just driving people away.

Friendliness also seems to fluctuate with leadership callings.

When you are a lowly Sunday schol teacher, people are cordial enough, but become an EQPrez and more people seem to like you. The best popularity goes to the Bishop and his counselors.
A close second is th Relief Society Prez.

When you are released from those callings, people pass you by. Just like they did before you had those topdog callings.

Huh! I wonder why someone is a better target for friendship if they happen to be the leader and can grant favors and make you look good by being in their circle? Could it be the insecurity that mormonism teaches people?

And let's not forget that a mormon friend is only a friend as long as you say you believe. Stop going to church and suddenly your best friend can't remember your phone number or address anymore.

I remember several years ago when I was in Utah and riding one of the buses in Orem. A college-aged girl was sitting a few rows ahead of me and she was telling a friend how sad she was that she could no longer be friends with so & so (guys name). Then she gave the reason that she could no longer be friends with him: he stopped going to church.

In my experience, I've noticed that a lot of mormon women are always trying to make their lives seem perfect. They might express a negative emotion in an off guard moment, only to apologize profusely as if having a bad day was a federal offense.
It's as if they are scared they will lose all their friends if they are not happy 24/7.

They also seem to obsess over each other's physical appearances. I never see them complimenting each other on inner qualities, such as being smart, or being creative, or being a caring person, etc. It's always "You're so pretty" or "You are the most gorgeous girl ever!".
Again, as if they are scared they'll be rejected if they don't kiss up to their friends.