My son came home and told me a story about his TBM friend who lives with his parents and grandma. Grandma is apparently an uberMormon and constantly harping on this little boy (who I'll call Bob) about going to church, hanging out with worthy friends etc. Bob even went through a period where he was pretty snotty and mean to my son because my son was not going to church. I was surprised when Bob began being friendly with my son again and NOT in a "let's save him" sort of way. Bob is actually asking my son questions about church history now. Apparently, living with crazy Grandma is making Bob think.

Especially the other day when crazy Grandma cornered Bob and yelled at him for being and "effing idiot and disobedient child" and told him he better start living up to his priesthood covenants (he's a deacon). Of course, she used the real F word. My MIL used to slam my DH and his sisters against the wall when they were children and scream swear words at them when they were bad Then she serenely went to church on Sunday, playing the good Mormon mom. Those of you who watch Shawn McCraney's show debunking Mormonism know he often gets callers who say the most filthy things to him. How does that help Mormonism, to show how awful people behave who claim to be good Mormons? These people obviously do not begin to understand what the Savior taught and don't care one bit about trying to be like him. They are all about power and being right. We get trolls posting on this board who swear their heads off and yell abuse and somehow think they aren't every bit as apostate as we are. You can't pretend to follow Jesus then give the literal middle finger to his teachings of "Love One Another" and "Whatsoever you do unto the least of these..." So basically, these trolls are swearing at the Savior. How do they justify being part of a religion that makes them such angry, abusive people? Nobody expects religious people to be perfect but such crass disregard for the teachings of the religion they are defending always shocks me.

You read my mind, CA girl!

I was reminded while reading some of the posts today of some horrible experiences I had while growing up. I believe it is about control. Mormons are so tightly controlled that they become control freaks themselves and try to control those around them. Then when they encounter a situation that cannot be controlled or a person who refuses to submit to them, they fly off the handle and become enraged.

I can be very stubborn. When I was a teenager, I refused to admit I was wrong to my (step, but adopted)father when I didn't think I was wrong. I would not bow to his priesthood authority just because he said so. The tighter he tried to hold me under his thumb, the harder I fought for freedom. As a result, he and my mom would become enraged at me. There were incidences of violence that I don't care to go into details for right now, but I was scarred for life because of some of the abuse I endured. One of my younger sisters told me a few months ago that she remembers the things they did to me and that she never got over seeing some of the things that happened to me. But some of my parents' behaviors I found so ridiculous and over the top(one fight was over a letter a friend had sent me that I would not give to them) that I started to question everything around me. I am no longer in the church, and I have their behavior to thank for it, at least in part.

Hey, when I was in UT in the service industry I had a customer who would swear and scream at her young children, She especially liked to scream at her 4 year olds face "DO YOUR HOMEWORK",(4 year olds DO NOT have homework)! and she always talked to me in a snotty tone, and was just totally abusive. If I had been the owner of the company I worked for I would have told her to keep her money and call someone else!! Then, I was there at said home doing a service when she brought a new 3 day old baby home from just having it...well, as we all know if someone has surgery or ill then RS will bring a meal in for a few days...I personally witnessed her screaming at the designated "dinner bringer inner" and she was screaming "You are 5 minutes late, where the H*** are you?" And she let out a long line of swears that I wont post here...Nothing like starting the babies off early!!!

One of the books I read about the FLDS talked about how beating your kids in that religion wasn't looked on as bad because it was just something everyone did. Maybe there are just so many Mormons that resort to this sort of bullying that it just isn't that shocking. It's still weird though how people can be so awful and think they are representing God. Such anger. It's astonishing.

In all my life I've never heard my dad say the word fuck. I've certainly heard many other of my relatives say it. Oh and my dad can let loose when he wants too.

I had an uncle who gave me a good cussin' way back when in a dispute over water rights. He told me I was a MF just like my grandpa.

My grandfather was my uncles' FIL and up until then I never knew there was any friction in the family.

And I'd never heard anyone in my parent's generation use the word fuck. I was shocked. I thought that was our word to offend them.

Oh and I was going to post a warning about the language but didn't.

They don't see these inconsistencies. Maybe they think they can make up for swearing by reading more scripture and praying, or they regularly repent during nightly prayers. Also, I think many TBMs assume the ends justify the means, so if they swear smack kids around, they might jar them into being better mormons which would justify their indisgretions. That's how they explain away lying for the Lord as milk before meat.

by doing more good deeds. (By good deeds, they mean service to the cult organization, and not to their fellow man.)

I have had some veeeerrrryyyy interesting conversations with con-artists, and people involved in business frauds.

I wish I could locate an article in The Ensign I read once, that explains this balancing process. It also mentions repenting each time they take the sacrament, and "renew their covenants" for the next week.

My mother never used the words F--- or Cr-- or Sh--, but she didn't hesitate to call me and my brothers "Goddamned Brats" and threaten us, "God Damn You To Hell!" I ask you, which words are "taking the Lord's name in vain"? Telling a little child that God is going to punish her for not doing the housework right--I think that is far worse than getting a tattoo or a piercing. Yet, Mormons think that is perfectly OK. My father watched the abuse taking place, but he forced us to say our prayers every night. No wonder Mormons are so confused.

My mother used to accuse me of drinking, going to bars, and picking up boys, with my non-Mormon friends. We liked to hang out at one friend's house, because her parents were nice. We all lived in the same neighborhood. We would talk, play cards, dance, study, play music, cook, watch TV, etc. We were shy with boys, and none of us drank or smoked, and I only dated the little Mormon boys I grew up with. We were young and innocent at 16 and 17. When I told my mother she was lying about us, she slapped my face. She was Relief Society president at the time.

My ex-husband almost killed me, beat his sister, his second wife, and various other people. He spent time in prison for assault. Yet, he is still a "member in good standing," and has three temple wives now (or thinks he has). What a sick cult.

My pedophile relative bears his same, tearful testimony every month, and describes to me how sexy the nubile pre-teen girls in his Sunday school class are, and what he'd like to do to them. Whenever I've tried to warn anyone about him, I get laughed at. No one ever believed that he abused and tortured me when I was a little girl. Mormons deny abuse and protect abusers.

My dh's exwife is a TBM who was emotionally (and a few times physically) abusive towards him. She's also very manipulative and controlling. When they were still married, she would sabotage his plans, tell him he was too stupid to go back to school, tell him he was too lazy to pass a test for the police department, etc. She even hit him a few times.

She has told her new husband and his family that she was the perfect wife and my dh is the one who was abusive, and they all stupidly believe her. She's one of those people who fools the community into thinking she's sweet and innocent, but at home it's a different story.

Dh had to move far away from her because she kept threatening to falsely accuse him of abuse if he didn't give her more money.
She lies constantly and spreads nasty rumors about people.
Now that dh's kids are teenagers, even they can see how difficult she is. She basically feels that anyone who is not a Utah Mormon is a disgrace.

She continues to be emotionally abusive towards him today. Calling him nasty names, complaining that he doesn't give her enough money (even though she re-married into a wealthy family and is living very comfortably), telling him that she will make sure that none of the kids ever live with him (his oldest daughter wanted to come live with us but exwife manipulated her into staying by making promises she didn't keep). She has also managed to turn one of his other daughters against him.

Even with all of that bad behavior, she has repeatedly told him: "In the end the truth will come out." In her mind, God will be proud of how she lived her life and my dh will be punished.
All because she lives in Utah and goes to church for the full 3 hours every Sunday.

It's scary how people can exhibit such poor behavior and yet at the same time think they are morally superior over others.

Okay, this makes me laugh. Remember back in the day when the church had basketball tournaments? When I was on the high counsil, another counselor who was in our ward cursed me up one side and down the other for not doing what he wanted me to do. You know the type, play b-ball in HS, thinks he's all that and a bag of chips.

Well, I actually wrestled in HS and could play a little ball, but not up to his standards. In one game I kept floating out to the wing beyond the 3-point arc to get my tall guy out from under the basket. Said asshole didn't like that and told me "get under the fucking basket, godammit". I think everyone heard that, including his wife. My wife heard me say "Brother? If you want to keep your front teeth, I wouldn't say that to someone like me".

Back in the day HUGE brawls would break out during those tournaments. Eventually, they did away with it, claiming it had grown too large, but we all know why. Good TBM demeanor and basketball just don't mix. :)

Ron

There was this family in the ward I went to who you would have thought was a good morg family i.e. had lots of kids, all going to church and participating in every activity.
However, I was told that someone was on the phone to their house and the mother was 'effing' in the background. I looked at her the following sunday and thought butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Seems like we can be 'duped' by all kinds of things when we belong to the morg!!

I worked with a group of TBM's for years.I don't think a day went by that they didn't use the most foul language,,words I would be ashamed to say about anyone. Yet they could quote scripture and condem me for "not belonging". The most filth I ever heard out of proples mouth was by mormons.

sounds like my father.