My 4 year old daughter is autistic. Today I was trying to bake her some cookies and when I went to remove them from the oven, I put her down to stand next to me and told her in a gentle voice not to touch the oven because she would burn herself and moved her back a bit. Well this correction set her off and she became so upset she literally tried to throw herself into the hot oven. I moved her behind me and she hung onto my leg then started to fall into it again. I had to pick her up and remove her from the room without taking my cookies out because I was so afraid she was going to hurt herself. She does this in other ways too, such as hooking her arm to the base of the bed and throwing herself onto the floor so her arm gets twisted when I'm trying to put her to bed, or biting her own fingers when I try to get her to feed herself. I'm really baffled by this behavior. She must realize what she's doing is going to hurt. I'm still really upset about what happened with the oven earlier. So why does anyone have an idea why she does this? What could possibly be going through her head?

I don't know a lot about autism but one characteristic is the child does not follow directions or even try to. They don't get the seriousness of any directions given in many cases. They don't focus to even hear what you are saying. IF she had an odd attachment to something hot, then that is really scary. I guess baking cookies was tried as a fun activity but perhaps should be avoided for now.

It's not understood why. There is speculation that it is because of sensory issues -- some people with autism don't seem to feel connected with their bodies and pain helps them "connect" with their physical dimensions.

She could be expressing anger at being told something she doesn't want to hear and hurting herself because of that.

My cousin used to take our hand and dig his chin into it when he was frustrated. After we convinced him that wasn't okay, we had to teach him that he couldn't do it to himself either.

My grandson has only harmed himself once. His first day of kindergarten (when they tried to mainstream him) was so traumatic and over sensitizing to him that he sat next to the teacher's file cabinet and banged his head against it. He'd never done anything like that before. But I think the noise, movement, colors and demands were so overwhelming that banging his head was the only way he could find to block it all out. (He's doing much better this year. He was in an integrated classroom after that first disasterous week and this year he's mainstreamed with an aide and doing well.)

This page might give you a starting point on where to go for more information.

http://www.autism-help.org/behavior-self-injury-intro.htm

V:

As you know, I have a son who's autistic. From what I've learned, this has to do with fixation manifestation. Once fixated, it's a bitch to get them off if and on to something else. My son exhibited that behavior too. They get in fixation mode and pitch a fit until that action or activity is accomplished. Not much you can do except deter them from any harmful fixation. Snickers bars worked for us.

Just my $.02.

Ron

Vhainya,

I am not an expert, so my comments here are purely speculative. However, like a couple of your other posters, I have a son with high functioning autism, and I consider myself self-diagnosed with the same:

My explanation for this behavior would be the following: as Rebeckah mentioned, there are clearly sensory issues involved. One of the nuances of "autism" that I have discovered is how some individuals have a difficulty understanding and relating to "social norms" or "common sense" when it is presented to them by an authority figure. Because our brains work differently and we don't always recognize, receive or interpret many social or sensory queues in the same way that others do, we are often confused, perplexed or just downright curious why some things can be so obvious to others and so oblivious to us.

Obviously, your 4 year old daughter is not going to approach a concept like not touching a stove with that much analysis, but in her developing mind, I personally believe it might be difficult for her to understand how you know what you know and perhaps she wants to experience it for herself to be able to "own" that knowledge. (I don't know if that makes sense or not, but at the very least, perhaps it gives you something to think about.)

Here's a thought - try getting down on your hands and knees until you are at her level (where your eyes would see what her eyes were seeing). From that vantage point, try to discover if there is something compelling she is seeing and fixating on that you were not - for example: perhaps at that angle, she was able to see the warm, inviting, orange glow of the oven's heat element and it totally captivated her attention at that moment.

One final, perhaps unrelated, thought: At the age of 4, all children are seeking their parent's attention and approval. If you consider that your child has difficulty relating to and perceiving "life" in the same way that you and most others apparently do, that additional disjunction between yourself and the world around you (even at that early age) is going to influence you to seek out attention and validation in a more desperate and intense manner. If playing with your emotions by getting you to react (even in anger) at me pretending to fall into a hot oven or clutching onto my bed works, I will likely push that button often to get the validation I think I need to survive. Strange, but true.

Hope that is somehow useful.

Thank you for your responses. They are very helpful. Understanding how her mind is working and processing things I think helps. I'll try distracting her with a sucker next time.

There is HUGE range of variation within the autistic spectrum, from very high functioning people that simply seem a little odd, down to ones which are profoundly autistic and deeply affected.

As well as my very autistic daughter, I've seen people at both extremes of the range, from someone that simply rocked all the time and never talked, to people that had minor fixations e.g a deep interest in Dr Who (one person knew all the episodes, dates, cast lists, etc.)

One of the main feature of autism is the "auto" part of their behaviour, i.e they are turned inwards and don't exhibit the mind-reading behaviour typical of the average population. For instance an autistic person will have problems understanding that other people cannot read their mind and know what they are thinking. They probably will have problems understanding how other people feel or reason.

Very often they will also exhibit a lack of generalisation, e.g they might not understand that a chair belongs to a type of objects called chairs because chairs can look so different from each other. Another symptom is that are obsessed with detail (some might say ovewhelmed by them).

On top of the communication, social and sensory issues, all the ones I've come in contact with have had compulsive behaviours. Most of the non high functioning ones have also had other issues too, medical, metal and psychological.

So when we talk about autism we are talking about a vast range of behaviours, some of which are particular to an individual - some of our friends had a boy who spent hours watching windscreen wipers swish from side to side in their car.

One thing to bear in mind is that autistic people simply don't "get" some things, not because they are stupid or don't want to, but because they unable to Just like a blind person does not see, autistic people are unable to comprehend some things. My own daughter can calculate the day of the week for any date in the past and present (at least within a hundred year) in seconds, but still doesn't understand that you have to look at both sides of the road before crossing it, despite nearly two decades of trying to teach her.

Imagine being partly sighted and deaf in a noisy and baffling foreign country with bewildering customs, and you'll get a flavour of what it is like being autistic.

Rudi

rudi Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > Imagine being partly sighted and deaf in a noisy
> and baffling foreign country with bewildering
> customs, and you'll get a flavour of what it is
> like being autistic.
>
> Rudi


Did you know my MP too? ;)

Ron

If not, I would urge you to join one. I think the additional support you would get (over and above all those on RFM who love and care for you) would be invaluable.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/01/2010 11:37AM by wine country girl.

@wine country girl: She goes to a preschool class for autistic children. They offer support groups there and I need to be more actively involved with them. Their meeting times just always seem to conflict with my other things on my schedule. I plan to attend the next one. I should find a group online though. Thanks for the suggestion.

@rudi: She scores on the very high end of the autism scale. She's just starting to learn speech, although she understands almost everything said to her. I agree there is often a misconception that autistic people are not smart, but my girl is extremely bright! She's very observant and constantly points things out to me I would never have noticed. She is very good at problem solving and can do rather complex puzzles for her age. She can also mimic complex actions after just seeing it done once. Even though she scored so high on the autism scale people who knew my family well did not believe she was autistic because she is so smart and does not fit the classic stereotype of what autism is.

He's loving -- quite snuggly in fact -- and happy and even interacts with children and we were told by MANY people that he wasn't autistic. Fortunately for my son and daughter in law, I have a cousin who is also autistic and I knew what I was seeing. And fortunately for my grandson, they've got awesome programs for children with autism. Aidan was about 3 1/2 when he finally learned to speak and they used the PECS program. (Picture Exchange System)

Now that he's seven he still tests as "retarded" but he's been using computers since he was three, navigates programs, the internet, etc., excells in math and science, and (in general) shows himself to be a very bright little munchkin. He just doesn't test well at all. lol (I'm hoping he learns to read this year, though. I think a whole new world will open up to him when he learns to read.)

When my son (now 22) was about the same age, he did a very similar thing - I was pulling something out of the oven and he was VERY curious. I kept telling him "hot" and trying to get in his way...but he managed to outmaneuver me and touched the hot oven door.

Poor little guy. Did NOT like that! He didn't have any kind of permanent damage, but he avoided the oven for *years* after. I think he learned the definition of "hot", too - he had a better reaction to the word "hot" than before.

There are several factors to look at here.
Many times when a child especially younger child is on sensory overload and or completley unable to communicate wants needs they will feel a disconnect and so the self injurious behavior "can be sensory overload" and a way of that child
actually reconnecting to their own body. Also I would recomend using an ABA method as well as social stories (see author Carol Gray).