Well, my ex and I have been separated for over a year, but he has lived here on and off, but finally moved in with his BF a few weeks ago. One of the big issues is how he has not dealt with his son, who is a young teenager.

His son doesn't care that he is gay, he is his dad. He wants him to act like a dad. But the other guy he is with is going through a messy divorce for the gay reason, and his kids hate him, and he doesn't spend time with them, etc. Yet this guy is a school counselor and knows what this kind of thing can do to a kid.

Our son is adopted, so he already has some issues. He is an only child, and no mo in mo land. His dad though, who loves him and wanted him so badly, is ignoring him. even though he is less that 20 minutes away, and local, and they both have cell phones, etc, he still does not even call him or text him most days.

My ex's bf took him to st george for thanksgiving, and my son didn't even hear from him. Is this normal for a dad to just dump his son like this? It is hurting my kid so much right now, he is failing 6 of 7 classes with an F. My kid is freaking out about Christmas, will his dad choose him or his BF?

I am of the opionion that my son is the most important person in my life, especially right now. I get that my ex has found someone, but should he not incorporate that into his relationship with his kid? This guy knows my son, has a kid the same age. My son has hung out with them before, even to the point of having fun.

But when it comes to being there for my son, my ex is not. He pays the bills, but that is it. He has deserted him. I know this is not the father he wants to be, but am I not understanding this?

He is a different person. I know that wehn you come out, you go back and relive stuff as a gay person. He was even wearing my son's clothes when he was here, and he looked ridiculous. A 47 year old man wearing 13 year old clothes. He did come over and get some Christmas stuff the other day,but ignored my kid. I say, why don't you eat with hm? Well, he can come in here. Like my son has to make all the effort.

I just wonder if this is going to be how it is. Yes, both of these guys were mo's, the other guy still is. Just because his kids think and say that he is ruining their chances as an eternal family doesn't mean my kid thinks or says that. My son can't even talk to his friends about it, because of the possibility of shunning.

I try to cover for my ex, but I don't know what to say. Dad loves you more than life itself, but he doesn't have time to text you? Oh, but he's on facebook and saying stuff about going to this or that movie. I just don't get it.

Here's my perspective.

Most all men feel guilt and sadness when they move out. I remember it being so deathly quiet (both literally and figuratively) that it hurt. To combat the guilt and sadness some become detached. It doesn't last forever, but it can last a while.

My bet is he loves his son as much as you say he does. He'll come around.

I, on the other hand, felt the guilt and sadness and combatted it with more contact with my kids. I dunno, each handles it differently.

Ron